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Has anyone moved a parent closer to them? Housing advice.

(6 Posts)
KateMiddletonsEyebrows Sun 07-Aug-11 23:02:30

Would be so grateful for ANY advice on this. My dad is an Old 61 - more like an 81 year old - failing health, chronic depression, very lonely since my mum divorced him. He lives in a little town at the other end of the country to me. He's not coping at all - drinking far too much, very isolated, and we're struggling too. I have a sibling in Oz and another sibling a bit closer to him, who keeps an eye on my mum. She has young children like I do, but I feel that it's only fair that I take on the bulk of care for my dad, as she will be there for my mum.

Dad lives in a housing association property, and is on benefits. No savings, no other income. My husband and I are agreed that we can't have him living WITH us, but we could cope if he were to move to a flat near where we are now ie move him 400 miles south. But housing people I've spoken to say if he goes on the housing list here (he would be eligible as we are the 'local connection') he has to be around to 'bid' on flats which come up. He's not fit enough to travel down, and we have no room for him to stay here. Apparently we can bid by proxy - which would really be the ideal solution. So we're stuck with him there and us here, and no idea what to do next.

Any ideas? I'm struggling. Thanks for any advice.

KateMiddletonsEyebrows Sun 07-Aug-11 23:15:08

(sorry that should read 'apparently we CAN'T bid by proxy')

GypsyMoth Mon 08-Aug-11 01:02:51

Why can't he bid from there? It's quite unlikely he would get a place quickly. Bidding system very very popular and he sounds like he would be low priority

Exchange site may be better?

kylesmybaby Mon 08-Aug-11 01:15:15

you can bid by text or email so he doesnt have to be in the actual place. the houses come out on line. good luck

we are having a nightmare situ as well so feel your pain. my boyfriend has a one bed in chiswick and i have a 2 bedroom in chiswick - we would like to give these back and get a 2 bed in any area that is not over subscribed - but no - two councils could not possibly tak to each other.

go on - put his details in and then search your area. you may be lucky and find someone wants to move to your area.

KateMiddletonsEyebrows Mon 08-Aug-11 02:17:35

Thanks both. He can bid from there - but apparently has to be there in person to view the property - a proxy cannot do that on his behalf.

Because of his age, apparently properties do come up quite often - he is currently in sheltered accommodation and he would be looking for similar - I'm told (don't know how accurate this is) that there are actually properties for over 55s sitting empty because they can't find tenants.

Thanks for exchange site idea - will look into that.

readsalotgirl Thu 29-Sep-11 10:59:19

Hi I'm in the process of moving my mum 150 miles closer to me. She will be moving in to a housing assoc sheltered flat. I found that the application process varied between some HA's and the local authority - the HA and the authority ran separate lists. Mum had to register with the HA and then apply for suitable vacant properties - in practice I did all this for her and I did go to see the property also but did get her to come and view it too. It might be worth you checking your LA website to see if they provide links to other sheltered housing providers in the area - that's how I found the HA. There is also a very good site called which lists sheltered accomodation, nursing homes etc throughout the UK. Hope this helps

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