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Caring for elderly relatives? Supercarers can help

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Are oyu in the 'sandwich generation'?

9 replies

flow4 · 18/06/2011 11:09

I'm a single mum who's also recently had to take on caring for my elderly (and now dying) father. There isn't a Mumsnet topic on this yet, but I guess more and more of us are finding ourselves in this 'sandwich generation'. Is there anyone else out there?

I'm blogging about this too: Stuck in the Sandwich It's not always cheery reading, I admit, but there IS humour, honest! You might like to have a look at it if you're in a similar situation.

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ggirl · 18/06/2011 11:10

I'm sure there used to be a topic for the sandwich generation?

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flow4 · 18/06/2011 21:01

I've lookd and can't find it, ggirl... If you come across it, could you post a link please ? :)

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Riveninside · 18/06/2011 21:02

Same here. Elderly mum, siblinfs abroad, plus severly disabled child.

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flow4 · 18/06/2011 21:11

Wow Riveninside. My bro only lives 30 miles away, and he has started to come over sometimes. He's here tonight doing 'on call' for the first time so I can sleep.... (Maybe, I hope...) I think I'd feel v angry with him if he wasn't around at all. And as your child is severly disabled I guess s/he can't help you out at all either... At least I get the occasional bit of help from my boys.

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RustyBear · 19/06/2011 11:42

Yes, there used to be a topic called the Sandwich generation, but it wasn't very well used (possibly because a lot of people who might have used it didn't realise what the title meant) and it got dumped in one of the topic reshuffles.

We've been in this situation for a while, since DH's dad died and his mum had a stroke, he spends a lot of time at hers - he's there now, in fact. Also my dad is 101 and still lives on his own 200 miles from us and steadfastly refuses to come & live with us - so far he's doing very well with local support, but I get down there when I can.

Though for us it's luckily now more of an open sandwich as DS & DD have now both left university, though they are both still living with us they are more help than hindrance now.

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flow4 · 19/06/2011 23:09

That's interesting background about the topic RustyBear, thanks :)

And your dad is 101 - wow!

My dad lives on his own, too, but really that isn't very safe any more, now he's on morphine and an oxygen machine. He can't live with us because I live in a small terraced house which is build with just 1 or 2 rooms on each floor, and 2 storeys between the bathroom and kitchen, and he can't do stairs. He has 4-5 visits a day from social services, but I do worry about night-times particularly.

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Toffeefudgecake · 14/07/2011 11:37

Hi, have two boys (5 and 11) and MIL (81 and frail) has just moved to live in sheltered housing near us. DS1 is off school because he has special needs and couldn't cope so I'm home educating him. He is starting secondary school in September. I am dealing with so much stuff to do with his special needs (appointments etc) that if feels like a full-time job.

This morning I have been trying to home educate him and also dealing with crazy stuff about new bank accounts for MIL on the phone. She is totally confused by it all, poor thing, and was further confused by the silly people asking her to fax them (as if an elderly woman would be able to gain access to a fax machine!). So now I have to go down into town to help her draft the letter, find somewhere that faxes letters, then get DS1 and me back home in time to collect DS2 from school at 3.

Rusty - Maybe the topic wasn't used because the sandwich generation were too busy to post!

Flow - I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be a constant worry for you .

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dementedma · 31/10/2012 21:51

Yes, dad with dementia,two jobless live at home teens, and a 10 year old. Work full time. Its no wonder I drink!