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car seat for my 11 month old

(30 Posts)
user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 09:05:43

My 11 month DS hates being in the car seat - he screams the whole way. I've tried putting him in the front seat and he still doesn't like it.

I've a three door car and it's also becoming a nightmare getting him in and out.

I was thinking of maybe getting a forward facing car seat to see if that would ease him a little bit.

Has anyone put their babies into a forward facing car seat? The videos scare the hell out of me but surely If the seat reclines then it's still as safe??

Someone help please!!

SoyDora Sun 15-Sep-19 09:10:56

Unfortunately forward facing is not as safe as rear facing, regardless of the recline function. I would never put an 11 month old forward facing having seen the evidence against it.
My 9 month old also hates his car seat. It’s an absolute pain. I’m riding it out.

KellyHall Sun 15-Sep-19 09:13:11

9 months used to be the norm for forward facing seats but it's been proven that it's far safer to stick with rear facing until your dc is 18kg (around 4 years)

I chose a Joie Every Stage at about 10 months for my daughter because it's designed to be rear facing for the maximum time and the seat itself lasts all the way to 12 years.

My dd periodically complains more or less in the car but I refuse to compromise her safety by even trying her seat forward facing. She also doesn't want her arms under the straps but I'm not going to undo them just to stop her complaining.

Try different ways to keep dc happy while travelling and if all else fails stop often and turn the music up inbetween! Good luck

hormonesorDHbeingadick Sun 15-Sep-19 09:17:24

What kind of entertainment does he have when he is in the car seat? Books, playing and singing children’s songs.

Ooohtini Sun 15-Sep-19 09:17:24

Hi that sounds really hard. Unfortunately as you asked forward facing isn't as safe no matter what position of recline your child is in. Have you been somewhere to try some different seats in different positions and see if he still cries? Can he see you (rear headrest mirrors etc?) Has he got plenty to do in the car seat (toys, books etc?)

user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 09:28:02

Yes he has numerous toys and I've tried the mirror so he can see me. I've tried playing his favourite songs and he just doesn't like it.
I've also had to take him dummy off him whilst he's in the car because he's started putting the whole thing in his mouth and nearly choking so he's only allowed that when I can see him.

Nothing is working.

Surely if it wasn't safe then it would be against the law??

SoyDora Sun 15-Sep-19 09:40:11

Surely if it wasn't safe then it would be against the law??

Well the new recommendations are that no child should be forward facing until 15 months.
Things aren’t either ‘safe’ or ‘not safe’. It’s not black and white. Tests have proved over and over again that there is significantly less risk of serious injury or death if a child is rear facing. It’s up to you what you do with that information.

Spam88 Sun 15-Sep-19 09:56:39

Might be worth looking at something like the Joie Spin 360 - it turns 360 (as the name suggests), so you could turn it forwards to put him in and then spin it round backwards facing. Would need to check whether you'll actually be able to reach the button to spin it though.

teaandbiscuitsforme Sun 15-Sep-19 13:06:39

You'd be shocked at what does pass for 'safe' with car seats. The legal test is ridiculous.

As others have said, rear facing is much much safer than forward facing, and that applies to all passengers of any age. This video shows why:

Lots of children often get fussy in their infant carriers but they got a lot more room and can see a lot more once they're in a group 1 seat. My 4.5 and 2.9 yr old both rear face and can see plenty out of their windows and the rear window.

I would seriously look into a seat that rear faces such as the Joie Stages. Join Car Seat Advice U.K. and search for your car type to see what others have fitted in the same car.

user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 13:43:28

He already uses a joie stage 1 car seat and again.. hates it.

SoyDora Sun 15-Sep-19 13:51:18

Then essentially it’s your decision. There is no disputing that forward facing is less safe than rear facing. Parents choose what risks to take.

joblotbubble Sun 15-Sep-19 13:59:11

I hate these threads as much as your son hates his car seat.

Car safety is non negotiable. He doesn't have to like it. He has to be as safe as you can possibly make him.

PuffHuffle5 Sun 15-Sep-19 14:03:09

3 door car, same as you. I put mine forward facing at that age. As a pp said, it’s about risk assessment rather than safe vs not safe - driving in itself is taking a risk, it’s not inherently ‘unsafe’ otherwise we wouldn’t do it and we certainly wouldn’t be transporting our kids that way. I drive mostly locally at 30/40 mph, so high speed crashes are less likely. If you’re regularly going 70+ on a motorway then rear facing is probably ‘safer’ as the risk of a high speed crash is increased. If anyone wants to be 100% safe they’ll just have to walk... (but watch out you don’t get hit by a car).

user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 14:24:50

@PuffHuffle5 I hardly ever use my car, usually only to take him to his nannan's when I'm going to work so normally 30/40mph zones same as you, I think I'll try and keep him rear facing as long as possible but he's also a big lad so ill have to see how it goes, he's only been in his new car seat for around a month so I'll keep trying to persevere as long as possible 🤦🏼‍♀️

SoyDora Sun 15-Sep-19 14:31:56

If you hardly use your car and only for short trips then I’d just put up with him being briefly unhappy.

Spam88 Sun 15-Sep-19 14:55:14

What does he weigh?

user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 15:18:33

@Spam88 he weighed 24 lb at his last health visitor appointment around 2 weeks ago

Funchilledmum Sun 15-Sep-19 15:24:20

Best car seat which is for 9months plus forward facing is Cybex Pallas Fix. It's amazing and kids love because they can lay on the bumper and they can use it as a table. Don't listen to what people say about forward facing.

Sweetooth92 Sun 15-Sep-19 15:25:58

We swapped to forward facing for the same reasons. Screaming child was far more dangerous and likely to cause an accident as he was so distracting.
I know it isn’t as safe as rear facing.
But it’s a lot safer than me trying to pacify a screaming child

SoyDora Sun 15-Sep-19 15:31:39

Don't listen to what people say about forward facing


The OP asked people for help. People replied saying that the evidence shows that forward facing is less safe than rear facing. Why should she not listen to that?

yikesanotherbooboo Sun 15-Sep-19 15:40:57

One of my DC screamed to and from school every day for about a year so I sympathise but I don't think you have an option. Rear facing and music or singing .

Jodie626 Sun 15-Sep-19 15:42:45

We have the joie tilt, it's cheap and can be forward or rear facing. Rear facing from birth to 18kg and forward from 9kg to 18kg. So you have both options up until they're around 4. Watch the Damon Marriott installation tips videos on youtube for both modes as they helped me a lot. Xx

user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 16:08:04

@yikesanotherbooboo I do have an option.
My child screaming in the back is very distracting and makes it much more difficult for me to concentrate on the road. Forward facing isn't illegal, most car seats can be forward facing from 9kg which my boy is heavier than.

user9877 Sun 15-Sep-19 16:09:00

@Funchilledmum ooo I've not seen that one! I'm going to look into that now; thankyou!

yourestandingonmyneck Sun 15-Sep-19 16:15:17

Forward face him then. He's your child. You've been told that rear facing is safer and still you seem determined to forward face. So do it; but don't expect people to vindicate your decision.

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