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Refusing a second hand car seat

(21 Posts)
IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat Wed 22-May-13 22:21:16

I am pregnant with my first child, and elements of PFB syndrome are creeping in I fear! I will begin by saying I have no problem with second hand in general, I just want to be as safe as I can possibly be when it comes to car safety.

I have just been offered an infant carrier off my brother and SIL but I don't want it. I know it's very nice to offer, and they have also offered baby gyms/bouncy chairs etc. but this just feels different to me. I want my baby to have a new car seat that has been purchased just for them.

I know the history of the chair, it has never been in an accident and my niece is only 18 months old (it was purchased new for her) so it is not as if it is an unsafe model or degraded in anyway. I feel my mum is a bit put out I have said no. She said the seat is fine and it will save me money, but it doesn't feel ok to me. Is there a genuine reason I can give not to accept or is it actually ok to use a carseat if you do know the history?

I was planning on getting a Be Safe izi Go, and then an ERF (Be Safe, possibly Klippan) for the next stage seat.

MisForMumNotMaid Wed 22-May-13 22:23:16

What about saying you'll take it as a spare if they don't object to it being used as a spare. I.e. for a second car, for the grandparents, to go up in the loft and be forgotten about.

chainstore Wed 22-May-13 22:26:52

Take it, it's your baby's cousin's seat. Do you plan on getting a new seat for any subsequent babies you might have in the future?

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Wed 22-May-13 22:31:34

No genuine reason to give, your Mum is right.

carabossse Wed 22-May-13 22:33:46

Aside- I've a klippan triofix and suggest securatot for advice on rear facing seats.

Regarding the offered seat:
If you don't want it at all, say you're buying a package with car seat included or that their seat won't fit your chosen pram. Or just say thanks so much for offering but no thanks and dont offer a reason.

If you think you may use a spare then take it as suggested above, but be clear it's the spare in case they us e someone else they could offer it to.

I think seats degrade faster if the car's parked in the sun rather than covered e.g. in a garage, but even so they have 5 years or so built in.

carabossse Wed 22-May-13 22:36:04

Other reason, not specific to car seats, is that you'd be worried in case it got damaged (pee, poo, food etc) particularly if they'd use it again themselves.

cantbloodywellchoose Wed 22-May-13 22:42:29

If you know the history then why not take it?

MortifiedAdams Wed 22-May-13 22:44:11

Why not suggest your DM have it for her car.for taking the tot.out and about?

AnitaManeater Wed 22-May-13 22:54:20

I was given an infant carseat by a friend. It was about 3yrs old and I knew its history. However, was carrying 16wk old DD in it one day by the handle. Something inside the handle gave way, the seat unit spun round 180 degrees and I dropped DD face down on the floor in shock. She was fine but I was hysterical.

craftycottontail Wed 22-May-13 22:58:32

Car seat has to fit your car correctly so use that as an excuse if you really don't want it. Try it in your car - it may not even fit.

If they've offered it, they should accept a yes/no answer happily without any need for you to give a reason or excuse.

IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat Wed 22-May-13 23:10:18

I am just worried about if it was ever dropped and they might think no damage was done, but you never know.

Good idea to say can we have it for grandparent's car, and also that we are scared of damaging it. It was definitely 'do you want to lend it' rather that giving it away.

wiltingfast Wed 22-May-13 23:14:12

You are being PURE daft I'm afraid. Take the seat quick. Just think of all the other lovely GORGEOUS stuff you'll be able to buy your baby instead! Car seats are one of the duller purchases.

carabossse Wed 22-May-13 23:26:45

Hey think of this as good training for parenthood. You have to be able to make your own decisions without everyone agreeing with you. Get the info you need. Decide. Move on and don't explain or justify. "It works for us" is all the explanation that's necessary for prams, names, and all the other stuff you'll buy.

MiaowTheCat Thu 23-May-13 09:20:35

Might be handy to have as a second one for grandparents' cars anyway - or just use the wanting one that will clip onto whatever pushchair you're buying if you really don't want it (but if you know the history of it I'd grab it and use it as a spare one for when you're not in your own car). I've always found it really handy to have one in gran's car - saves us taking our own one out of our car all the time (I got fed up with infant carriers and whacking my shins with them weighing a tonne within about 2 months and went for a first class plus that stays in the car - which DD1 found more comfortable than her infant carrier anyway... you could actually use wanting a fixed carseat over an infant carrier as an excuse thinking about it).

Having said that - we're getting a second hand one passed down from relatives we know we can trust and we know the age of the seat and viewing it as money well-saved that can buy something else for the kids. Wouldn't do it from randoms, but we know the history of this one (and it's coming from someone who's very PFB so will know about the issues passing them down so wouldn't unless it was going to be safe).

specialsubject Sat 01-Jun-13 18:23:05

up to you, but...

the reason you have to be cautious with second hand car seats is you don't always know whether they have been in an accident or stored correctly. (i.e not squashed or dropped).

if you are getting it from trusted people who confirm that it has been well-treated, I can't see why you wouldn't bite their hand off.

WeOnlyPlannedTheFirst Wed 05-Jun-13 13:27:31

If you think you will go for erf later why not save some money and consider the 0-18kg klippan kiss2 from birth. My 5 month old twins are in these seats and they're amazing.
Also provides an easy explanation for not having the 2nd hand seat though I'd definitely take it for grandparents car.
See also joie stages seat which rf birth to 18kg.

forevergreek Wed 05-Jun-13 13:43:28

I would Accept personally. I wouldn't from people I don't know but close family ie siblings who say it was safe I would take if fitted car/ pram and your needs.

Just a tip, if you are looking at the besfe izi go, also look at the besafe izi sleep as it reclines so they can stay in longer if sleeping and out

TokenGirl1 Sat 15-Jun-13 23:53:55

I wouldn't compromise on a car seat. I have a lovely cabriofix but didn't offer it to my db as, although its not been in an accident, it's been very well used and had a toddler climbing in and out of it.

I wouldn't take a chance with a car seat.

NatashaBee Sun 16-Jun-13 00:41:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notfarmingatthemo Sun 16-Jun-13 06:26:01

If its a lend they may want it back before your dc is out of it or you may have to buy a new one for a sibling anyway because they are still using it

KatAndKit Sat 13-Jul-13 22:15:50

I agree with the klippan kiss from birth. It is a brilliant seat. I only got it at 12 months as used an infant carrier before then but the baby part of the kiss has wheels on it so easier to get it from house to car. Suitable from birth to 4 years. So perhaps you could say you don't need a baby seat as you are getting one that goes all the way through baby and toddler.
There's no reason you couldn't accept the seat but at the end of the day it is your baby and your money and your choice. You are allowed to be a bit pfb if you want to and you shouldn't be bullied into taking stuff that you don't want just to please other people. However if you use taxis a lot an infant carrier seat is handy and if you are going on holiday on a plane in the next year then a spare seat to take with you would be very useful as you wouldn't want your seat getting damaged in the hold.

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