Tent shagging etiquette

[Canvas]

Erm, yes. 2 weeks coming up in a tent. DCs in pup tent. Family in tents nearby. Does this mean 2 weeks of celibacy? Even if super quiet, the possibility that my mother in law might hear or even just suspect fills me with horror. What is the etiquette?

[Snazarooney]

I always wonder about this whenever anyone mentions camping holidays!

[Canvas]

Sorry, forgot to mention, PIL and SIL have suggesting we all pitch next to each other. I've not booked the site, they have. Might be worth trying to call them and 'accidentally' book a pitch a few extra metres away?

But, this family issue aside, how does it work? Is there a code? Peg bag on the guy rope or something? Is it just not the done thing?

[GertrudeSmellsDivine]

All lights in the tent MUST be off unless you want to be the floor show.

[Canvas]

Oh good lord, shagging shadow puppet show, for family viewing?!!

[Canvas]

So, must be night time, yes?

[DamsonGinIsMyThing]

Sleeping bags rustle as well.

[Coffeethrowtrampbitch]

Dh and I are just back from glamping.

I hope and trust the etiquette is to be really quiet but try and avoid otherwise quiet times.

Otherwise we've pissed off a lot of people!

We took a laptop and playing a DVD quietly in the early evening or morning is great camouflage.

Be prepared for noisy neighbours, we were put off by sheep and owls making loud comedy noises at inopportune moments!

[GertrudeSmellsDivine]

Play music to cover any noise. Do it after others have gone to sleep (or are too busy with their own shagging) or sneak back to the tent in the middle of the day when there's noise to 'cover' you.

[Canvas]

But does music/DVD noise not piss people off?

Very confused by the rules, I need black and white instructions, or will not cope.

[elephantoverthehill]

Keep quiet. Gaffa tape might be essential or kinky.

[GertrudeSmellsDivine]

Failing that, just style it out with a 'I'm a grown adult and I have needs - get over it' attitude.

[Canvas]

Oh, I saw Duct tape on a camping list, maybe that is why.

[Canvas]

MIL:

[LolBeansandSalad]

Daytime. Seriously, no one will notice in the daytime.

At night, you can hear your neighbours tummy rumbling.

[BeautifulMaudOHara]

Don't go camping
Hth

[Canvas]

But the kids might just come into the tent in the daytime.

It's too hard. Celibacy seems much simpler.

[CatThiefKeith]

What usual said. Even the glow from your phones screen will make your every movement show up

[Canvas]

BeautifulMaudOHara I think you might be onto something there.

[Sparklesilverglitter]

Turn the tent light off, be quiet bite down on the pillow etc to keep noise down and go for it

[Coffeethrowtrampbitch]

I have clearly over-shared on this thread.

Probably not for the first time either

[Princesspond]

This is why I only camp for two days maximum! I still haven't recovered from an incident at a festival years ago

[GertrudeSmellsDivine]

I'm probably old enough to be your MIL and I would consider it ill mannered not to offer to take your DCs to the play area to give you and your DH a bit of time to yourselves on a daily basis.

I would want to follow that offer with a Nanny Ogg leery wink and grin combo but would probably refrain
I'd also be making sure my own fun time noises were kept to a minimum.

[LolBeansandSalad]

But the kids might just come into the tent in the daytime

Surely you can chuck a football at them, or tell them to go find Nana, for two or three minutes?

do other people have sex for longer than that?