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Tent shagging etiquette

(140 Posts)
Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:13:12

Erm, yes. 2 weeks coming up in a tent. DCs in pup tent. Family in tents nearby. Does this mean 2 weeks of celibacy? Even if super quiet, the possibility that my mother in law might hear or even just suspect fills me with horror. What is the etiquette?

Snazarooney Sat 09-Jul-16 23:16:55

I always wonder about this whenever anyone mentions camping holidays!

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:19:03

Sorry, forgot to mention, PIL and SIL have suggesting we all pitch next to each other. I've not booked the site, they have. Might be worth trying to call them and 'accidentally' book a pitch a few extra metres away?

But, this family issue aside, how does it work? Is there a code? Peg bag on the guy rope or something? Is it just not the done thing?

usual Sat 09-Jul-16 23:19:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GertrudeSmellsDivine Sat 09-Jul-16 23:20:22

All lights in the tent MUST be off unless you want to be the floor show.

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:20:45

Oh good lord, shagging shadow puppet show, for family viewing?!!

Steamgirl Sat 09-Jul-16 23:21:20

Make sure the air bed is properly inflated to avoid squeaking noises

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:22:08

So, must be night time, yes?

DamsonGinIsMyThing Sat 09-Jul-16 23:22:20

Sleeping bags rustle as well.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 09-Jul-16 23:22:32

Dh and I are just back from glamping.

I hope and trust the etiquette is to be really quiet but try and avoid otherwise quiet times.

Otherwise we've pissed off a lot of people!

We took a laptop and playing a DVD quietly in the early evening or morning is great camouflage.

Be prepared for noisy neighbours, we were put off by sheep and owls making loud comedy noises at inopportune moments!

GertrudeSmellsDivine Sat 09-Jul-16 23:23:25

Play music to cover any noise. Do it after others have gone to sleep (or are too busy with their own shagging) or sneak back to the tent in the middle of the day when there's noise to 'cover' you.

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:24:40

But does music/DVD noise not piss people off?

Very confused by the rules, I need black and white instructions, or will not cope.

elephantoverthehill Sat 09-Jul-16 23:24:47

Keep quiet. Gaffa tape might be essential or kinky.

GertrudeSmellsDivine Sat 09-Jul-16 23:25:26

Failing that, just style it out with a 'I'm a grown adult and I have needs - get over it' attitude. grin

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:25:44

Oh, I saw Duct tape on a camping list, maybe that is why.

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:26:21


MIL: halo <me

LolBeansandSalad Sat 09-Jul-16 23:26:54

Daytime. Seriously, no one will notice in the daytime.

At night, you can hear your neighbours tummy rumbling.

BeautifulMaudOHara Sat 09-Jul-16 23:27:54

Don't go camping

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:28:25

But the kids might just come into the tent in the daytime.

It's too hard. Celibacy seems much simpler.

CatThiefKeith Sat 09-Jul-16 23:28:49

What usual said. Even the glow from your phones screen will make your every movement show up

Canvas Sat 09-Jul-16 23:29:08

BeautifulMaudOHara I think you might be onto something there.

Sparklesilverglitter Sat 09-Jul-16 23:29:13

Turn the tent light off, be quiet bite down on the pillow etc to keep noise down and go for it wink

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 09-Jul-16 23:29:19

I have clearly over-shared on this thread.

Probably not for the first time either blush

Princesspond Sat 09-Jul-16 23:31:54

This is why I only camp for two days maximum! I still haven't recovered from an incident at a festival years ago blush

GertrudeSmellsDivine Sat 09-Jul-16 23:32:13

I'm probably old enough to be your MIL and I would consider it ill mannered not to offer to take your DCs to the play area to give you and your DH a bit of time to yourselves on a daily basis.

I would want to follow that offer with a Nanny Ogg leery wink and grin combo but would probably refrain grin
I'd also be making sure my own fun time noises were kept to a minimum.

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