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how do you have sex on a camping holiday if you go with children?

63 replies

Fairylea · 19/04/2013 09:16

Well.. exactly that really!

Dh and I have two children..dd aged 10 and ds who would be year old in the summer.

We like the idea of camping for a week somewhere but what do families do about having sex ? Surely you can't in a family tent... ? Dd would hear us...! So do you just not have sex ?

I know this sounds ridiculous but it's putting me and dh off camping and I wondered what others do.. thanks.

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UC · 19/04/2013 09:18

Quietly!!! Or you do other things that don't involve so much moving. It can make things interesting!

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mumblecrumble · 19/04/2013 09:20

You tire them out aaaaaall day so they sleep really really deeply ;)


Or get creative...


Or make it into tantric tent sex.... i.e. its too naughty to have it.... well... anyway...

Sounds fun... I;d worry more about the hard beds

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DizzyPurple · 19/04/2013 09:21

I agree, quietly! Besides if you are noisy half the campsite will hear not just your dc! I do love camping though.

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DeepRedBetty · 19/04/2013 09:22

Quietly.

Apart from anything else, sound carries a loooong way on a campsite.

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MegBusset · 19/04/2013 09:22

You don't! I love camping but not conducive to sex at all imo!

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TheRealFellatio · 19/04/2013 09:25

Blimey - can you not contemplate just going without for the week? Hmm

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ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 19/04/2013 09:25

Wouldn't it just be too stressful? You're lying there next to your sleeping children, in a field, with a thin bit of canvass separating you from however many people are out there in that field?

I can't imagine that's going to lead to much desire, tbh! Grin

It's only a week.

I'd say get someone to have the kids the day before and go at it till your legs shake, Wink then just enjoy your family holiday and look forward to falling into bed when you get home.

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YoniMatopoeia · 19/04/2013 09:26

Quietly

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Trillz · 19/04/2013 09:27

Sex on a camping holiday is not very nice even without children.

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Iamcountingto3 · 19/04/2013 09:30

As others have said, quietly. We do have a big tent too so the kids are on the other side of the central pod, not just on the other side of the canvas - think that would feel wierd.

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HolidayArmadillo · 19/04/2013 09:32

My DS was conceived in a tent. Blush

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seeker · 19/04/2013 09:33

OP sounds like a stealth boast to me!

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Startail · 19/04/2013 09:34

I had sex enough in an air mattress as a student, to know that trying to do it quietly is impossible. In a tent with my 12y DD listening? No way.

DD1(15) wouldn't worry in the least, but DD2 would be VVVBlush

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Fairylea · 19/04/2013 09:39

Thanks everyone :) ... not a stealth boast at all! We are like every other couple and go through droughts and peaks like everyone else... in fact it's only recently my sex drive has come back since nearly bleeding to death in c section with ds andthen being extremely ill for a while... so I guess we are enjoying getting back to some sort of normality for us and we started exploring holiday ideas etc etc!

Thanks for your replies. We aren't noisy sexers (!) But dd is at the age she would die of embarrassment if she so much as suspected a squeaking mattress so just curious about others experiences really. :)

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RedPencils · 19/04/2013 09:39

Everyone around you will be able to hear you. Its a complete passion killer.
its only a week.

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Fairylea · 19/04/2013 09:43

See the only time I've ever been camping was aged 11 with my dad on our own.... so I have no experience of camp sites as an adult! I do remember hearing my dad farting in bed in the canvas room next to me and trying not to giggle.... !

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Trillz · 19/04/2013 10:03

I agree with seeker - oh we can't possibly have no sex for a few days is a good stealth boast :o

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MooMooSkit · 19/04/2013 10:06

I think I have a high sex drive but I think I'd rather go without for a week than to risk other people/kids hearing me shag! Too embarassing!

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GirlOutNumbered · 19/04/2013 10:07

You don't go a week without sex AND you have kids!

If you really cant wait, why not jut try quietly or use your own imagination.

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TSSDNCOP · 19/04/2013 10:09

Yet another excellent reason to not go camping. Ever.

This is why hotels with adjoining doors were invented. Bless them Grin

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WallyBantersYoniBox · 19/04/2013 10:15

As well as quietly, I would recommend "in the dark".

I know that sounds like it's stating the obvious, but fellow campers do forget that the Gaz lamp or torch tends to illuminate the entire tent!

I have seen some very interesting shadow theatre displays on my way back from the toilet block! Shock

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CajaDeLaMemoria · 19/04/2013 10:17

I've been camping five times with 'parents' (other people's, not mine).

On three of the occasions, the parents had sex. We all knew it. It's not just the sex noises, it's the way the rent moves, the smell...

A few years later, one of the parents told us that when you have kids, you have to be sly. She seemed so proud until one of the more outspoken people said we had all known.

Don't do it!! Or go outside or something. Getting arrested would be less scarring for your children :p

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YoniMatopoeia · 19/04/2013 10:24

wally I was just coming back to add with the lights off

I too have seen some interesting 'shows' late night, the sillouette created by any light source is most revealing.

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gerbilsarefun · 19/04/2013 10:39

Have a look at this, it may help. Not tried it myself though Smile

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WallyBantersYoniBox · 19/04/2013 10:43

Oh god "Ruth got Vangoed"!!!! That's enough to put me off for life.

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