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The Puddle!

(1000 Posts)
DreamySleepyBonfireNighty Mon 05-Nov-12 20:57:00

Happy Bonfire Night!

<hands out chocolate>

State You will be fine! Your a fab mum! All will be well with Jesus grin

have you got everything sorted now?

While we have a bit of a work theme going....I'm having a slight dilemma too.

Do I make the jewellery 'official' ? If so how the hell do I do it?
Is it risky? What is it all goes balls up after the christmas panic has gone? How high do I aim? How high can I aim with no money behind me? confused

If anyone would like to answer those questions and plan it all for me I would be muchly grateful! wink

EmpressOfTheNorthPole Tue 04-Dec-12 21:09:16

Thanks, you two xxxx

That's what I'm leaning towards as well. I knew I'd get good advice in the Puddle.

Bonkey, maybe it would be worth making an appointment to talk to this lot? I know you're not strictly in Wiltshire but they do seem to cover your area and could probably give you some advice.

EmpressOfTheNorthPole Tue 04-Dec-12 21:10:09

And State, Bonkey's right! The New Messiah will be just fine with you.

StateofConfusion Tue 04-Dec-12 21:10:25

Thank you bonkey, I have to order the carseat adapters so it will go on our buggy friday, and finish christmas shopping next week, but on the practical stuff I'm done, I've stock piled nappies and wipes (14 packs wipes, nearly 200 nappies) to get us through christmas/new year, dps face was a picture when he unearthed my stash, but to be fair all have been freebies (nectar card/asda baby club/tesco clubcard) or really good deals/had vouchers from bounty packs etc. Oh just remembered I'm going to get some ready made formula cartons in just incase.

I'm rambling now so ill hush.

bonkey I know nothing about business but in your shoes I'd do a year of it then decide/look back over how its worked out.

snowtunesgirl Tue 04-Dec-12 21:13:50

Oxfam Books? <faints with excitement> I am not allowed near those places. If you saw my front room, you would understand! I have far, far too many books!

Empress, not having a perm job isn't such a bad thing. I haven't had one for over a decade now and it really is very freeing!

State, now, now, we don't the baby Jesus to arrive early, so nice deep breaths!

Bonkey, what do you mean by official? Premises etc?

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Tue 04-Dec-12 21:25:38

Empress I have no actual advice, but I do agree with snowy. I've had no perm job for nearly 3 years and it's quite nice. Granted, my husband has one, more or less, so we don't rely on my income.

bonkey do you mean registering with HMRC and all that? Because you really do need to do that if you're selling things. Huge fines if you get caught.

I've just fined the last bit of my clients website. I'm officially out of work. Well, except MN Local Editor, I must get onto that! So...I guess I'm not out of work! grin

I do think I need to be off to bed, though...

By official I mean reg as self employed. Still from home so no overheads but stock.

I think I have 3 months from starting to do it? Thats a 'proper business' . Whats that? confused

I'm guessing at the moment its a hobby thats paying itself with a bit extra on top. But I don't want to get caught doing something i shouldn't be iyswim. I said new year would be my deciding point!

Thanks Empress I could walk to wilts if I wanted to so I'm close grin

Yes Tee thats what I meant, how'd I go about it?

Just discovered I can do it all on line.

Fun day ahead tomorrow for me!

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Tue 04-Dec-12 21:48:32

Yup. Do it on line.

Just started - I love forms hmm

BrianCoxIsAChristmasPud Tue 04-Dec-12 22:13:12

Hi everyone, I will have a catch up read tomorrow but for now I want a rant...

Firstly, I am being stubborn with Baby's name. I am being unreasonable, but I can't give my child a name that I do not love. Ex and I can not agree on any names. My chosen name, unknown to me until recently, is his brother's actual name but he uses another (so in effect, doesn't use my name) which is the same as the 2nd in line to the throne

As a compromise I have said that the middle name can be Ex's name (Ex originally wanted baby to have his name, which would mean Grandad (deceased), dad and son all with the same name). I said no. It is a boring name (no offence) and not a baby name.

Then I decided to look at other potential names. I chose two - one he ish likes, the other he doesn't.

For his choice of names we have Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Aside from the ridiculousness of the biblical reference when he is a non-church goer!....
Matthew - no, it is a nice name but just not for my son.
Mark - his best friend's name (who I have never met) and just NO.
Luke - NO, it is not 1983.
John - see above about Grandad, Dad, Son sharing same name.

So there is no hope of compromise, this discussion has gone on, unresolved since I was 8 weeks pg.

Mum also brought it up earlier and SIL stuck her opinion in too, basically I am a cowbag and I am evil because he is such a nice man and this is his first child and I have already ripped open his heart and trampled all over it by dumping him they didn't say this last bit but it is constantly there, hanging in the back of everything my mum has to say where he is involved

I have this evening, in a light hearted way (after he brought it up) said that after months of sickness, sore boobs, back ache, waddling, endless Dr appointments and facing either a painful natural birth or major abdominal surgery followed by breast feeding and endless sleepless nights - I will be getting my own way.

Not that it will make me agree to any of his names, but give it to me straight - am I being an utter bitch? I am feeling very weepy this evening after it all but I can't just hand over the naming of my son, my last child, to him. I imagine, where we madly in love or in a committed relationship, my feelings would be different.

Then I have a school mum calling about another school mum and their current war that my daughter has (is always) caught up in the middle of. I feel for her, I can see it is shite and it does need sorting BUT I normally am in bed for 9pm and this evening am still awake at gone 10pm as I am so fucking wound up.

Boy is giving me lovely kicks this evening which are making me smile, but ultimately I am feeling pretty shit.

I know this isn't anything big in the grand scale of things but thank you for listening to my rants.

I can see both sides ..... but , if i was you then i would feel exactly the same way!!

I was the same with ds's name....i won because a) Dhs names were crap b) I am the one walking around with said baby inside me and ultimately im the one who has ge t it out and will be doing most of the.practical care for said baby....therefore i get final say!

Who cares if its selfish/unreasonable/etc.etc. if it was the other was around then they would feel the same !

BrianCoxIsAChristmasPud Tue 04-Dec-12 22:31:23

Thanks Bonkey.

I can see both sides too, but ultimately - I am the one who will win wink

It's not even about winning. It's about the name, I love the name so much to the point where I am (secretly) referring to my boy as such.

I have told everyone that I am not naming the baby until he is born (everybody in real life keeps asking which name I've chosen....nosey gits wink) as he may not look like my chosen name, I have 2 others lined up - hopefully he will fit one of those instead grin

StateofConfusion Tue 04-Dec-12 22:32:15

Brian I absolutely LOVE your first choice of name, 2nd in line to throne one, and would have used it for my own ds if it wasn't my cousins name, and were a very close family.

Oh and being in a relationship doesn't mean you'll feel differently, me and dp fought horrendously over dds name, he desperatly wanted Emily... Nice name but so not what I wanted for my dd --who was meant to be my last baby-- we argued from the day I got a bfp until I was 37wks!! And the same this time with boys name, still no decission made, girls only sorted because its my late Grandmas name and he adored her almost as much as me.

Rant away! But enjoy those kicks and wriggles they're the best when its been one of those days.

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone Tue 04-Dec-12 22:40:05

Good evening everyone

<brings in hot chocolate and hob nobs>

<settles on sofa and snuggles State's best throw>

Bonkey you're going all official! Brilliant, well done

Mario is on his way to you, hopefully you will get him tomorrow grin

I am full of cold and have a hacking cough.

Bitch boss has been phoning,yesterday and today, I have not taken her calls. I still can't face talking to her.

I am a walking mess of anxiety, anger and exhaustion. <curls into ball on sofa>

BrianCoxIsAChristmasPud Tue 04-Dec-12 22:45:16

Thanks State, it is a truly fabulous and beautiful name IMO, it is timeless and can be dressed down or used formally. It also goes so, so beautifully with DD's name.

I keep trying to remind myself not to tempt fate and stop saying this is my last baby. I just can't imagine (knowing me like I do) that I will ever find somebody to settle down with and have another child with all before my child bearing days are over (am 34).

Plus 3 children with 3 different men was not how I planned my life....I couldn't risk that happening. God that sounds like I am judging but I am really, seriously only referring to how I viewed my life panning out.

I expect to update in a few years with DC3 on the way - fate has pissed on my plans mega-style every other time I have been adamant about something grin (and I am eternally grateful for being fertile and having one healthy child and (praying) another healthy one to come - I would just like to have done it properly lol)

I am so tired but my brain won't switch off and I really am considering calling in sick to work tomorrow - I fear a crying meltdown is just around the corner and I don't think I can face another day, 4 buses of smelly people (well, not all but the one smelly person always sits near me), rain, cold, argumentative almost-9 year old and then work (which is actually my saving grace if truth be told).

I feel so poo right now. I think I had better switch the laptop off and get my bum to bed, it is 2 hours past my usual bed time!

Thanks for allowing the rant and being understanding x

Night Brian hope your ok!

I'm off too, heads mushed!

Thanks shaky hope you feel better soon too! Can't wait for Mario grin

Night all! x

giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer Wed 05-Dec-12 00:41:00

Can I join you all in feeling snotty and coldy? Promise to use my own tissues! Hope everyone feels better soon! Bloody winter germs!

StateofConfusion Wed 05-Dec-12 00:52:27

Of course giraffes <passes over a naice throw>

I'm hoping this is it for me this winter as I'm still blocked up/coughing and sounding like a man. Rather deal with it now than with a new baby.

2 weeks tomorrow!

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Wed 05-Dec-12 06:07:47

Good morning Puddle!

::lays out full cooked breakfast along with croissants etc::

Brian I do think you are being a tiny bit unreasonable, but I understand why. Names aren't something that I ever felt strongly enough about to fight over, though, so maybe I just don't understand.

State OMG 2 weeks!!!! grin

bonkey wait 'till you have to do a self assessment form.....

House cleaning day here at Tee Towers. And then woman from the Council coming around to see if there's a way to sort our damp problem. It's not a huge problem, but we are getting some mould and wall paper is peeling. Landlord is going to have a freak out, because I went around the agent on this after they told me they wouldn't call the council themselves and told me I couldn't call them (which was a lie), but too bad.

Also...snow predicted for tomorrow!

<snuggles under duvet> a horrible hormonal.mood so u shall.just hide here.

Ds was up loads last night, which resulted in him stealing my side of my bed and me on the sofa. hmm

Pissing internet is down which means i can't access my notifications or messages on my page - on what could possibly be one of my busiest weeks yet sad

Im cold.

I have stomach cramps.

I cantt even comfort eat because my appetite has gone sad

Dhs is back.on the that bench.... just because.

StateofConfusion Wed 05-Dec-12 11:49:09

Hope your day improves bonkey

Dd may end up on the bench today, she is seriously pushing me, don't scuff your boots, scuff scuff scuff, sit in your carseat nicely, hangs out and lays across back seat... And then has the cheek to ask for sweets!!!

BrianCoxIsAChristmasPud Wed 05-Dec-12 12:07:20


feeling better and less ranty today!

Tee I really do place a huge weight on the name and it is a strong feeling and I don't want to get it wrong IYSWIM. This morning, not tired and hormones behaving (naughty hormones) I can see that I will have to sit down and explain this to Ex.

Nearly got killed on my way to work this morning - as per my facebook rant, stupid cow drove through the zebra crossing that I had just stepped onto. I am ok, but it did leave me very shook up for a while.

Everything ok now though, am in work and it is busy and even though sometimes i want to just curl up and not interact with the world, I have a job that I love and I mustn't complain.

In other news, my darling Grandad is in hospital with a 'cardiac episode'. I think this means that they aren't sure what it is but suspect a heart attack. He is 81 but has the constitution of a 60 year old, I just hope he is ok. We are heading down that way this weekend for our Christmas run, coincidentally, so instead of a family gathering at their house it looks like we will be congregating at Basingstoke hospital instead!

<throws in a box of extra soft tissues for all those with sore/runny noses>

<plumps Bonkey's cushions>

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone Wed 05-Dec-12 13:29:13

Brian what a silly cow that woman was, I hate it when people don't stop at crossings. Imagine if that had been a child!

I hope your grandad is better soon.

Bitch boss has been on the phone again today, I actually spoke to her. She wants a face to face meeting on Friday morning <gulps>. How the hell am I going to keep my cool and be all calm and professional like, I'm anxious about it already sad

<hides under covers again>

I have emailed my union rep for advice today as well, just waiting for a reply.

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