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Local kids ganging up

(3 Posts)
Solo2 Mon 28-Sep-09 21:22:05

My sons were recently 'invited' to play with a group of neighbourhood children, who use the field backing onto our garden as their recreation ground - although this is really private land. I let them go and play, hoping that this might help them integrate with the childen nearby. My sons go to a different school from these kids who all know each other well. Within 5 minutes, my usually v extrovert one was back, followed by his brother, in tears because the kids had been sneering and laughing at them both. Neither could explain exactly what had gone on.

The following day, the same thing happened and the kids shouted over our fence for my children to come and play. This time, within minutes, I heard the kids sneering at my sons and went to see what was going on myself. In a friendly but firm way I said that it was fine if they didn't really want the boys to play but could they state this clearly and then my sons would be fine with leaving them alone. The kids sniggered but said they did like them playing. I asked my sons if they wanted to stay and they said yes,as they feels like this private field has really been taken over by local kids and it's not fair.

The kids have lots of play equipment which they keep in the field and it's v tempting to my children to see the other children playing on it. Also, the kids stare over our fence when we're in our garden and kind of invade our privacy - which is really hard. I've tried to develop an attitude of integration rather than isolation. But it's not working. My sons came back again, this time telling me how the kids had pretended to go away 'for lunch' only to sneak back and snigger at my sons.

Now my boys don't want to play with the kids anymore and won't go into the field but the local children and their families are using the field more and more and staring at us over our fence and the kids are kind of 'obviously' NOT now asking my sons to play, yet choosing to play right at the very end of our garden.

Any advice or ideas? I don't want to talk to the parents, as whatever I say will just put their backs up and I want to keep on good terms with the neighbours. Is this bullying or just a natural response of one group - all familiar with each other - to an unfamiliar minority group of two - my sons?

hullygully Mon 28-Sep-09 21:24:05

Put up a very large trellis

Callisto Tue 29-Sep-09 14:34:26

I don't think it is normal behaviour. Sounds really spiteful and nasty. The trellis idea sounds good to me too.

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