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When it's not direct bullying...what is it?

(6 Posts)
HarryPottersGlasses Thu 11-Sep-08 16:47:13

My DD (14) is very quiet and timid. She finds it very difficult to make friends, therefore she sits on her own most of the time.

The school she is at has a terrible name and has recently been placed in special measures. The press caught on to it quickly and there have been loads of write-ups about the awful behaviour of the kids in the school. Teachers have walked out, other teachers are having to be paid extra just to go anywhere near the place.

I had a look on youtube and there are videos (taken by the kids) of big fights, bags of flour being thrown at "nerds" (stolen from the cooking classes), kids telling teachers to "fuck themselves" during class etc.

My DD is a nervous wreck. Since they went back after summer she has had a paper aeroplane thrown in her eye (teacher insisted it wasn't aimed for her, she was just unlucky) in the middle of an English class, 'spit balls' fired into her hair (again, apparantly not directed at her intentionally) and has been pushed into a wall by a group of rowdy lads which bruised all her side.

Today her classroom door burst open and two year 11 kids fell in fighting! shock the teacher apparantly said "what the hell are you doing? you're not even in this year, get out!" and the kids carried on fighting and one of them fell into DD and knocked her off her chair.

I have threatened to take her out of the school but I've been warned that they'll prosecute. There are no other schools around here.

If its not direct bullying but is stressing her out all the same, what is it???

TwoWindyDays Thu 11-Sep-08 19:07:04

Could you home educate? This sounds awful.

mummyloveslucy Thu 11-Sep-08 19:16:04

I'm with TwoWindyDays, home educate !!.

It sounds awfull. I had a simmilar experience as your daughter and it is sole destroying. You need to get her out at any cost.
I now have a 3.5 year old daughter and when I recieved the letter telling me I have to register her for school, I felt quite sick. My experience of school must have effected me more than I realised. I don't know wether I can let her go. sad

TwoWindyDays Fri 12-Sep-08 10:07:16

It is not a legal requirement to send your child to school, but it is a legal requirement to provide her with an education.

Are you in a position to prepare her for some GCSE? Could you get some help?

It may be better for her to get fewer GCSEs done in a safe and happy environment than to fail loads while suffering at school.

Have a look on line for others who are home educating in your area, I bet there are a few. Maybe you could share a maths tutor or meet for social stuff?

onwardandupward Fri 12-Sep-08 17:40:52

"I have threatened to take her out of the school but I've been warned that they'll prosecute. There are no other schools around here."

Get her out. Explore the alternatives. Home Education can be any style you like. Go to the HomeEducation forum here and ask for advice - there are a couple of regular posters who are using (and love love loving) internet schools (I think it's called Interhigh or something, but there are other similar and reputable ones too), where your child would still be doing school, but in the security of her own home. Then she could have whatever social life she wanted out of the school situation.

"If its not direct bullying but is stressing her out all the same, what is it???"

How many answers do you want?
Lord of the flies?
totally unacceptable?
Criminally irresponsible.

Just get her out of there, I think, whatever it takes.

(and don't let the school give you any grief. It is your choice where and how your child is educated. Go to the Education Otherwise site to find out how you deregister her. You can hand the deregistration letter in on Monday morning, and she never needs to darken their doors again)

If you want more links, come and ask in the Home Ed forum, we won't bite

onwardandupward Fri 12-Sep-08 17:41:58

Not you being criminally irresponsible - the school being criminally irresponsible

Just reread my post and realised it could be misinterpreted...

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