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WWYD I think my 5 year old is being bullied

(5 Posts)
confusedandtired99 Wed 11-Sep-19 00:10:45

Hello all,

Writing for advice, perspective and in the hope after getting this out there I’ll be able to sleep.

My daughter has just gone into year one. She’s described as a social butterfly who interacts with everyone on her terms if she’s interested in what they are doing but except for one girl has no fixed firm ‘best friends.’ I’m led to believe she gets on with everyone.

Last year in reception there was some trouble with other school children teasing the reception children. I was told it was dealt with and the older children were not allowed to come near the reception children. I thought this was resolved.

My daughter rarely talks about school. Getting her to tell me what she’s done in a day is like pulling teeth some days.

Since going back to school my daughter has become more unsettled. She’s wet the bed a few times (happens once in a blue moon usually) and is clingy at night waking several times.

My daughter was playing with some older children in the park on Sunday and as we had to leave she became very upset. She said it was the first time in ages that older children had played nicely with her. She said her best friend at school was being picked on by older children and she felt she had to stand up for her friend so got dragged into it. We talked about talking to her teacher. She didn’t want to do this. She said she wanted to go to the gym and get bigger muscles so that when something is pushed over she can sort it out. That’s when I started having the feeling she was being mistreated I.e bigger muscles so she can push them back.

On Monday I found out her best friend had not been at school for the first few days and it was her first day back. She hadn’t been at school to be picked on. I talked to my daughter about this and Insisted we talk to her teacher (as I think she is obviously the one being picked on) but she became quite hysterical about it and refused. She didn’t calm down till we left the school.

Tonight she has talked more to me about what is going on and she stated that these older girls pick her up and throw her around like a football. She said this happens on the school field and she doesn’t know their names. She believes they might be in year six. She states that they are much bigger than her.

She’s been at school for four days now and on two of those days she came home with a slip saying that she had hurt her head. She’s adamant that these were accidents but I’m now skeptical. She isn’t usually that clumsy.

My daughter is my oldest child and I’m looking for advice. She doesn’t want me to talk to the school about it but I feel I need to. I was thinking about going into the office tomorrow after dropping her off and asking if I could arrange to talk to someone about it without her knowing? Arrange an appointment? But I’m also worried that I’m betraying her confidence she might not confide in me again!

What would you do?

Thank you. I’m sure it’s long winded but I don’t want to drip feed.

Stayawayfromitsmouth Fri 13-Sep-19 17:01:19

Absolutely go into the school. This is very serious. Your poor daughter having to deal with this alone. Write down what you and she can remember and get a meeting with her teacher.

Fairenuff Fri 13-Sep-19 17:11:28

She doesn’t want me to talk to the school about it

She is too young to bear that responsibility. Speak to the teacher and ask what they are going to do to keep your dd safe.

museumum Fri 13-Sep-19 17:16:14

This sounds terrible. I’m not impressed that the school has had to deal with the issue last year by keeping the older and reception children apart rather than actually teaching the older children to be kind and nurturing with the younger.
I think the school has a problem and I absolutely would be going in to speak to them and also saying it’s not a single incident you are worried about but a whole atmosphere.

confusedandtired99 Sun 22-Sep-19 19:53:33

Just to say that I followed my instinct and by chance I managed to talk to the head teacher the morning after posting this and then her teacher a day later. Both were very reassuring and kind.

I know I did the right thing now because I now have my happy, smiley daughter back. She’s also far more engaged with her school work and school life. Even her grandparents have mentioned that she’s happier in general.

Fingers crossed it lasts!

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