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What do I do? At wits end..

(5 Posts)
Kainz Tue 02-Jul-19 13:57:21

Hello I'm looking for some advice, I really don't know what to do. This may get long I'm sorry.

My 15 year old DD is currently in year 10.

When she started high school there was a girl who seemed to dislike her and was constantly calling her names and being just outright mean, physical and mental abuse almost daily. I was in touch with the school and dont feel much was done, the girl was told off but I think it was just seen as 2 girls who dont like each other, and by the end of year 7 my DH and I decided to move her to a new school.

She was so happy and regained her confidence and thrived at her new school....until 6 weeks later when the 'mean girl' moved there too. New school know of the history and know why my DD was moved because of this girl. They promised to keep and eye on them. I'm guessing that eye was blind. This girl has practically tortured my DD almost ever day. Physical and mental abuse has just not stopped. The girl was once caught hitting my DD and given a 1 day isolation. This girl now makes sure she pinches/slaps/kicks my DD away from teachers or prefects or cctv. She spreads rumours and has even arranged for girls from other high schools to randomly come to meet DD after school and beat her up. The police were involved but she was just told not to do it again. I asked them for advise about a year after this but was told it wasnt a police matter as it was all happening in school.

My DD got herself a boyfriend who seemed like a nice boy, but that soon ended and the boy got with the 'mean girl' and he now joins in with the whole bullying. This has also happened with every friend she has made. She is now totally alone.

I have always kept the school up to date so they cant claim they weren't aware. They just say their hands are tied as there are never witnesses and they cant prove anything my DD has told them. DD has almost perfect attendance, I think 2 or 3 days off with illness through out this school and her previous. And despite everything her grades are mostly good.

Things came to a head yesterday she was being threatened and name called all day and last night expressed she wanted to kill herself. Needless to say I have kept her off school today and went up to speak to the staff who have just said i need to take her to a doctor and get a note to explain her absence and then they will 'integrate' her back into the school. I dont want to move her to yet another school as shes about to head into year 11 which is an important year...but what else can I do? I'm scared for her. Why wont the school help her?

Thanks for reading and any advice offered

GreenTulips Sat 06-Jul-19 01:03:56

Have you got any community police officers?

Is every incident in writing?

Do you have a record?

The school will have a complaints procedure and you need to get a copy and read it- ask school for it and ask for the school governors names and contacts - they are ultimately responsible for making sure all incidents are recorded and chased up

UnderOverUnderRover Sat 06-Jul-19 01:08:23

Move her. How well is she really going to do at school with the current situation?

Show your DD she can get away. You don't have to stand up to bullly's at your own expense.

Imagine how you'd feel trapped.

TheWindowDonkey Sat 06-Jul-19 01:30:58

You can just remove and deregister her from school and temporarily (or permanently, if thats what you choose) home educate her. Its a very succesful route for many kids. PM me if you need advise on this. We chose to home ed for our own reasons, but dd has friends who are home edded because of schools complete lack of action on bullying. Sorry your daughter is experiencing this. X

Pantsomime Sat 06-Jul-19 01:35:56

Is moving her back to previous school possible on understanding that they won’t readmit bully if they are approached l?

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