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Advice about a incident at school

(14 Posts)
Josh9292 Mon 13-May-19 20:35:55

Hi I'm new to the forum and I'm looking for some advice.

My five year old boy was at school and two boys have pinned him to the ground and took his shoes and socks off and when the teacher intervened they were half through pulling his pants and underwear off against his will. The teacher said she had told the boys off but I don't feel like this is enough, my wife is saying I'm over reacting but other people are telling me to take it further. Now my little boy is worried about going to school and to top it off he was pushed to the floor today by one of the same boys.. Any advice of what to do is welcome and if you feel like I'm over reacting please say thankyou..

Paddingtonthebear Mon 13-May-19 20:39:08

Straight into school tomorrow to speak to teacher or head of year to find out what’s going on. This needs to be addressed ASAP. Not acceptable behaviour and not ok for your child to be worried or scared about these children.

Comefromaway Mon 13-May-19 20:41:25

How old were the other boys?

If they were 5 year olds then I think a firm telling off and reminder that such behaviour including the trying to pull pants down is not acceptable.

If they were older 9/10/11 year olds I’d expect the school to be investigating further whether there is anything going on that Indicates a more serious issue and to be contacting parents etc with possible severe consequences.

missmartini Mon 13-May-19 20:43:11

I'm a teacher and parent and don't think you're over reacting. Unfortunately there's only so much a teacher can actually do with regards to a telling off - although I would have spoken to the parents/ guardians of the pupils involved and made them aware of this seriously inappropriate behaviour displayed by them and would hope they would support by giving any relevant punishments at home. I would also have made the head teacher aware.

Have you seen the schools discipline policy? I would consider asking for this so you can see what the guidelines are for low level misbehaviours raising to high level and see where this fits in.

Do you know the parents that you could have a calm word with them on the playground before school?

Could you ask if an assistant in the playground could keep a close eye on your son to make sure he's ok and playing with good friends?

I hope your son is ok.

Josh9292 Mon 13-May-19 20:43:20

Hi Comefromaway the boys were the same age as my little boy thanks

Comefromaway Mon 13-May-19 20:45:53

THe other thing to take into consideration is the teacher won’t be able to tell you everything including ifvthru know anything about the boys backgrounds/any SEN etc.

What you can do is go in and ask what is being done to make your son feel safe.

Fairenuff Mon 13-May-19 20:46:36

This is totally not acceptable and your ds needs to know he is safe at school. Speak to the teacher tomorrow and ask what measures have ben put in place to ensure this does not happen again.

I would also ask them to give your child the tools to alert staff if he feels intimidated or upset. They may be able to give him a card to show or something. They should make sure all staff are keeping an eye on him, including lunch time supervisors.

Josh9292 Mon 13-May-19 20:49:13

Thankyou missmartini this information has been great I've tried phoning the safe guarding team at the school today do you think this is the right way to go with it

missmartini Mon 13-May-19 21:03:40


I'm a teacher in Scotland so not 100% sure how your policies and things work in England.

My first port of call would be the head teacher to be honest with something like this. It's unlikely you would be able to speak to the class teacher first thing in the morning and you're aware that some for of action has been taken. They're 5 year old children but I would have fully expected the parents/ guardians of the pupils involved to have been told. I know if my child had done this to another pupil I would want to know about it.

SEN might have a factor here that they will be unable to discuss with you but that shouldn't be at the detriment of your son feeling safe. You need to know that there has been something out in place for your son to know that he will feel safe in school/playground and I don't think you're being unreasonable asking for this.

Josh9292 Mon 13-May-19 21:08:22

@missmartini thankyou I will try and speak to the head teacher tomorrow and take it from there. I feel helpless and just keep picturing him under them and keep thinking about how he was and is feeling.

missmartini Mon 13-May-19 21:26:30

@Josh9292 absolutely he must have been very scared.

My best advice to you is (and I know it's hard) but please try to stay calm and level headed when talking to the head. You're far much more likely to be listened to and yours and your sons views taken into account. If you go in a bit "all guns blazing" (not that I'm saying you will!) then the school is likely to go on the defensive rather than focus on what measures to put in place.

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Apple23 Mon 13-May-19 21:59:26

The key question to ask is, “What are you going to do to keep my child safe in the future?”

Don't expect to be told about strategies or punishments put in place for the other children; that is for the school to discuss with their parents.

If you don't get a satisfactory response then you can:
1. Let it drop
2. Complain to the governors - look on their website or ask the Headteacher/ at the Office for a copy of the Complaints procedure
3. Remove him from the school

analieninblackburn Thu 06-Jun-19 16:52:49

I hope by now you have gone to school and sorted it out . Don't leave it . Write to the head and governors and make sure it's documented .

OKBobble Thu 06-Jun-19 17:03:37

Safeguarding lead is the person you need to contact. It may have supposed to have been "harmless fun" but overtly sexual behaviour in youngsters can also unfortunately be a flag to abuse.

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