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Do I approach a bully's parent?

(5 Posts)
Neem Sun 27-Jan-19 23:39:14

My DD (9) told me of an older girl who she likes and trusts hitting/scratching her at our place of worship. She said they were playing a game, but the older girl (12) has been hurting her. My DD has got bruises on her legs. Older girl was also teasing DD about other things. She was looking at her new earrings (which were wooden/painted), and sort of sniggered at her, saying “nice earrings”
Then after she kicked her, my DD rolled up her leggings to say that she was hurt. The older girl then told her that she needed to wax her legs. I’m fuming. I’m so upset. DD can play rough and tumble. But she looks up to this older girl. Now she feels broken that this girl has been taunting her. This was in an area where lots of children play, in full view of other worshippers--so she was not alone or in a secluded place. I really don't know what to do. I've told our child protection officer to perhaps to a talk on bullying. I really can't approach the older girl's parents because they would just day the kids were playing. I feel so sad.

FortunesFave Mon 28-Jan-19 04:05:43

I was going to say no....but since this is church I think I would speak to the girl's parent. If there's no play leader and they are playing unsupervised.

You also need to arm your daughter so she knows how to defend herself.

Teach her to avoid this girl and tell her the MOMENT this girl approaches her, she's to go to an adult. Or if she won't do that, then if the girl hurts her, she's to say "You're an awful person and I'm off"

And then to go to find you.

Another approach is for you to directly approach the girl and say "DD told me what you did and I'm keeping an eye on you"

Say it with a pleasant smile. I bloody would.

Neem Mon 28-Jan-19 23:01:55

Thank you! That's very helpful. I haven't had the guts to speak to the parent yet, but one of the supervisors is aware and will run a session with the children about kindness and a process for bullying. I feel reassured with her actions. I've also told a few other friends to keep a closer eye on the children. As you suggested, I will ensure my DD maintains a safe distance and not stand for any more crap. If it does happen, I will wade in myself

Pantsomime Mon 28-Jan-19 23:11:37

How awful for you both. Not sure if I’d approach the mum, some views are apple not falling far from the tree so you may get abuse. What about a bullying book for DD which may give you both techniques and hopefully demystify the pedestal DD has this girl on, a source other than you is best here because of course you will tell DD a real friend won’t do this. ( frustrating that DCs know you have their backs and are comforted by a loving parent/ carer but a stranger/ other source is sometimes needed to clarify the point)

AngryMum101 Tue 29-Jan-19 13:24:07

YES! I truly feel that you should confront this girl`s parents! It`s not right. Bullying can seriously affect someone mentally and physically! Please do what is right and talk to this girl`s parents. Good luck babs x

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