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My eldest daughter (9years) having friendship problems

(3 Posts)
Kport246 Wed 16-Jan-19 00:05:37

Hi guys this is my first post not really sure how this works but here goes.
I was just wondering if there was any other way of helping my daughter deal with cliquey groups of girls in her class, she tries to hard to impress these girls and no matter what she says or does she is always being excluded (made to sit alone at lunch or told she isn't part of their friendship group, or being blamed for something she hasn't done or said) or made fun of by them but she won't stay away, and the only person that gets emotionally hurt by all of this is her. She has developed very low self esteem issue and her confidence has pretty much gone... She was such a happy little girl who got along with everyone she came across but since hitting year 4 she is now facing problems she hasn't had to deal with before. I know that she is no Angel herself-all kids have their moments but I know she doesn't purposely try to hurt anyone's feelings or exclude anyone, There are days where she doesn't want to go to school because of these girls, there are days where she just cries and no matter what I say to her to try and help her she can't seem to stand up for herself and see that they aren't really her friends . She said she just wants to fit in and I've asked why she needs to fit in and be like everyone else when she can be who she naturally is , she's a smart, funny girl who has her own mind and really knows how to use it but recently even she has admitted to "dumbing herself down to fit in" (her words), she doesn't laugh like she used to and can barely take a joke anymore. I was just wondering if there was anyone who is or has been through the same with their children.

Sorry about the long first post.grin

GreenTulips Wed 16-Jan-19 00:08:18

Have you spoken to school
Can she move class
Can she find different friends

In my experience schools are rubbish at this and you should consider moving schools

Look at the companies policy
Keep everything written down

Her self esteem is worth more

nancy75 Wed 16-Jan-19 00:08:30

Not that it makes it any easier but this is very common with girls at this age. Are there other girls in her class you could encourage friendships with (suggest inviting children home for tea who are not in the problem friendship group)

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