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Help my child is getting bullied & wants to ends his life

(29 Posts)
worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 01:03:45

My son has been getting ‘bullied’ by a lad at school, harassing him, intimidating him, threatening him, all over a period of time. School can only do so much.
Walking home today My sons friend turned off to go a different way and this lad/bully then started on Ds. (When Ds was alone)
Pushing him to the floor and hitting him etc. Ds trying to stick up for himself and loosing his temper manage to get on top of this lad shouting and swearing telling him to leave him alone.
At this point a lady from a bungalow came out shouting at the boys and it looked like Ds was the bully as he was one top. This wasn’t the case Ds just happened to be stronger than this lad and got on top of him to defend and protect himself.

I’ve spoken to the parents
I’ve spoken to the child
I got abuse from the child
And pretty much the same from the parents who are trying to shift the blame onto My son.

I’ve spoken to the school, who told me
To report it to the police

Which was my intentions anyways!!!
I’m not having my son getting bullied day in day out.

And I’ll keep reporting it, just because your a 11/12 year old harassing intimidating threatening and attacking another 11 year old
Is not acceptable if you were an adult you’d get arrested!!!!

This all happened yesterday
Today my son went to school with his friend as usual
Who has now fallen out with him (convinced it is because bully's mam is friends with Ds friends mam)
Police and school have taken their time over dealing with it all so bully thinks he has got away with it and boasting around the school making my son look and feel stupid

He is hiding in toilets at break times etc

Today he wrote on a piece of paper that a teacher got hold of and then rang me
My Ds son is saying he is going to kill himself and begging me not to send him to school.

Obviously it's the law and that, I spoke to the teacher at half four today and she still hadn't addressed this attack with the bully or his parents 24 hours had pasted by
Wtf this should be a priority!!!!

I'm keeping my son off school tomorrow and taking him to the doctors but other than that I don't know what to do
Any advice would be grateful
He is in year 7

MilkyCuppa Wed 12-Dec-18 01:10:17

Take him out of school immediately. Look at moving him to another school or home educating him if necessary. The law says your child has to be educated - it doesn’t say that has to happen in a school, or even in this particular school.

Lovingbenidorm Wed 12-Dec-18 01:16:33

Op I’m horrified by what you’ve told us. Your poor boy. Yes keep him off and take him to doctor but you’ve got to tackle the root problem here.
Sounds like a different school would be a good move.
At least you’ve got some time over the Christmas holidays.
Good luck x

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 01:19:50

I can't educate him - I'm thick as two short planks and then the social aspect of it.
All because one child takes a disliking to my Ds,
It's also the only school around here for miles
I have taken him out tomorrow until it's sorted
But why should my child miss out on a school life coz of one god awful child

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 01:20:56

Plus isn't they gonna be a bully in every school ???

Justgivemeasoddingname Wed 12-Dec-18 01:21:03

Email the head teacher and copy in your council's head of education and a few other relevant personnel, stating you are removing your son until further notice due to bullying- they really don't like having it on their records and should move fast.

Oblomov18 Wed 12-Dec-18 01:24:28

Don't send him. School are seriously failing him here!!

SemperIdem Wed 12-Dec-18 01:29:40

The schools reaction is disgusting. They have a duty of care and they are failing it.

It isn’t surprising that the parents of a bully are dickheads.

Remove him from the school and make it clear to the local authority why, whilst looking for an alternative.

You might not be academically adept but you’re a clever enough woman to be worried for your son and when the chips are down, it is your support not your IQ, that counts. As long as he knows you have his back, being at home will be a safe place.

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 01:30:03

I'm doing loads of research online
Schools policy for bully
Government policies for bullying
Printing along with a letter and highlighting the fucker out of it and I'm sending it in
They won't know what's hit
Them
I know they look down their noses at me
A lezza in a tracksuit
But no one hurts this lezzas baby !!!!!

😂

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 01:34:12

Sorry I had a rant then!

Thank you all.

I think I know what to do, but I don't want to get in trouble with the law by keeping him off school

But I don't want that bully getting away with it

My uncle is police man is working on it getting dealt with but can only do so much as he can't work on a family case himself

I just feel helpless when my baby boy would rather be dead than here because some little shits making him feel useless

TheMythicalChicken Wed 12-Dec-18 01:44:40

Please take him out of school. Imagine if he did end his life. It’s just not worth it.

And if he wanted to be homeschooled, he could. There are online courses that cover all subjects and you, as the parent, do not need to be academically gifted to facilitate this.

giftsonthebrain Wed 12-Dec-18 01:59:07

besides removing him from school, getting the admin side involved please consider having your son take karate lessons. it really helps with self confidence.

Shriek Wed 12-Dec-18 02:06:27

You are doing great, and all the right things!

Go you. As your DS write this stuff and a teacher picked up on it, you cannot be blamed for your DS being off school until proper action is taken
Take him to GP tomorrow for emergency appt to discuss options and for your DS to see how you support him. The bully needs to be kicked out not your DS leaving.

I had a fight with school over same issues with DC coming home bruised and scrazed from being dragged around

School tries to tell me there was equal blame. It's shocking the bollox they come out with. They changed the child s class, At which point parents changed child's school!

Keep fighting for support for him

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 02:07:46

He was doing boxing but costs so much
With his football n my other children's activities

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 12-Dec-18 02:15:04

Take him out of school immediately.

It isn’t the law that you have to send your child to school. It is the law that they receive an education but there is no mention of what that specifically is.

Your Ds could learn to be a concert pianist and that would be considered an education

It doesn’t matter how thick you are.

I HE my Ds and I haven’t got a qualification to my name.

Ds could follow the curriculum at home via BBCbitesize or books from the library to learn what he fancies learning.

There are HE groups that run science classes, Maths classes etc

Please what ever you do don’t send him in tomorrow. There is no need to put him in that place again.

Chickenwings85 Wed 12-Dec-18 02:15:31

I agree with other comments, keep your son off until the school take it seriously.
I'm so sorry for you and your son to be going through this. You are so strong and doing brilliantly by supporting him and taking things seriously. I really do hope things get sorted for your son and he can enjoy a happy school life.
You're doing a great job OP

faithinthesound Wed 12-Dec-18 02:17:11

He could do Khan Academy online for the time being. It's not school, but he'd be alive, and it'd buy you some time to sort this out. Kia kaha. I believe in you.

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 02:28:08

Read through reasons why a child can get permanently excluded
N it's there on the school policy
If a child even threatens let alone physically does it
Oh that kid is getting kicked out wait till I've finished
Don't worry my son won't b going back
Until it's sorted n that school won't know what's hit them tomorrow!!!!!!

spoon19996 Wed 12-Dec-18 03:07:19

Your son is very lucky to have you. I had this in my first year of high school. My mum forced me to go and I told her how bad it was and she sighed in my face and left my room. I went to the head teacher balling in tears and demanded to be moved class. (I had a friend who done an out of school activity in another class). Police were reported to but because I stood up for myself and replied to message and shouted back they couldn't do anything even though they were the bullies. Would moving classes be an option? This avoided me having to see them and going to different places for break&lunch worked.
So sorry if the police are useless on this. So sorry about all of this your on and you don't deserve this at all.

worriedmum3484 Wed 12-Dec-18 10:01:13

Thank you for your support x

MilkyCuppa Wed 12-Dec-18 12:49:09

Hope you have had some success resolving this today OP. I was a bullied child and believe me when I say it has lifelong effects. I’m 40 and I still have anxiety and look over my shoulder for potential attackers. Hopefully you can nip this in the bud before it goes too far.

Ebayaholic Wed 12-Dec-18 13:01:30

Gutted for you both. Technology is so advanced these days, I can't believe there's not a bullying solution.

I'd be bugging the school/governors and police so much that they'd do anything to get me to shut up and leave them alone.

Lara53 Thu 13-Dec-18 11:39:45

AS others have said online schooling. There's great stuff available out there. youtube etc. I'd be finding another school. also record everything that goes one with dates/times/ photograph any injuries etc so that you have a record for police

worriedmum3484 Sat 15-Dec-18 01:34:13

So apparently school dont have enough evidence to exclude bully
So nothing will happen to him
Unless the police can find proper evidence on him cctv or the witness from the bungalow

The school want my son back in on Monday
And pointed out his absences have been unauthorised

Still waiting for police to come round to get statement and then find evidence on cctv etc

But Duno what to do
Advice anyone please x

Shriek Sat 15-Dec-18 01:50:43

I would advise you write to the LEA, detail the situation give them the crime reference number and detail your concerns over risk to your son's life as a result of the bullying.

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