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Advice needed - bullying an issue for three year olds at pre school?!

(6 Posts)
JSW81 Fri 11-May-18 13:30:09

My three year old daughter (four next month) has attended pre-school nursery for two and a half days a week since September last year. She’s due to start reception full time in September.

My daughter LOVES her nursery and wants to be friends with everyone. However, much to my dismay and shock, I’m beginning to think that bullying is already an issue for her and I’m at sixes and sevens as to what to do about it. Leave the issue completely and accept that this is what kids this age do and will grow out of? Or take steps such as making teachers aware etc so the issue could be resolved?

To set the scene, when my daughter started nursery she (as with many others) joined older children who had already been there a few months. My daughter developed a sweet friendship with one particular older girl. As I also became friendly with the girl’s mother, play dates soon followed and they were firm friends.

The issue is with another girl who had been friendly with my daughter’s new friend before my daughter came along. They lived nearby and had evidently played together frequently. This girl did not welcome my daughter and displayed jealousy etc early on. I tried to get past this by encouraging the three girls to all play together or for my daughter to play with other children but the problem has persisted and got worse.

The girl who dislikes my daughter now actively leads other children away from her every morning in the playground. At a recent party she found herself next to my daughter for the hokey cokey and refused to hold my daughter’s hand each time the chorus came on. She refuses to engage with my daughter at all which is obviously fine but as crazy as it seems it really does feel like bullying as she discourages other children from playing with my daughter so that she is excluded in the playground. The girl my daughter is friendly with often gets led away by this girl and then also refuses to play with my daughter. This is obviously upsetting to see.

What do I do? Just encourage my daughter to play with others and ignore it? Or do I need to speak to a teacher?

CramptonHodnet Fri 11-May-18 15:20:40

I would have a quiet word with the teacher and see if they have noticed anything. If your DD and the other girl are likely to be going to the same school in the future then this behaviour is best sorted out now. They could be together a very long time.

JSW81 Fri 11-May-18 16:37:17

Hi, I think I will as although she came out happy today there was talk of being called “poopy pants”, playing by herself and one of the girls spitting on her not by accident🙁Thank you.

Aliceisabella123 Wed 17-Oct-18 22:48:41

So sad. My daughter has had same problem at reception and I went straight to the teacher. The teacher pulled the kids in and made them apologise however I believe that teachers can only do so much in regards to exclusions. It’s so sad hope u get this resolved x

sickmumma Thu 06-Dec-18 17:53:14

I work in a preschool and shockingly we have seen some instances of 'bully' type behaviour!

A few children teasing one, leaving out, your not coming to my party type things. If we see this we nip it in the bud very quickly but please speak to the nursery workers and make them aware as sometimes these things aren't always noticed straight away as it's quite mild things compared to what you would normally expect for bully behaviour!

MrsVargas Wed 12-Dec-18 14:37:08

This absolutely breaks my heartsad

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