My son was threatened with a knife at primary school

[nonoz]

I am so angry at our local primary/middle school. My son was threatened with a knife at school (he is 6) by two older boys in Juniors (middle school) on Friday. I have written a letter to the Head as the way they are handling this I feel is disgusting (my son had to get the school to tell me). I will paste a copy of the letter below but would like to get others opinions of what you would do in this kind of situation as I have never been in this kind of situation before.

The letter (I will omit all names):
Dear xxxxx

I am writing regarding an event that took place at lunchtime (within the school hall) on 24th November 2017. Where my son (xxxxx) was involved in a serious incident with two boys in Juniors which he has named child 1 and child 2.
I am deeply upset regarding this and the way that it has been reported to me and further actions that have or in this case have not been taken.
At pick up time on the day of the incident I collected my son as usual and his teacher Mr xxx dismissed him from class when he saw me. My son then said to me that he needed to speak to Mr X and ran back to him. I then overheard my son say to Mr x ‘remember you need to speak to my Mum’. Mr x then approached me and said that ‘xxxx (my son) wanted me to let you know about a situation that happened at lunchtime today between himself and two boys in Juniors. In no way was he (my son) in trouble and he did not do anything wrong at all but handled the situation very well. One boy from Juniors said to him (my son) that he would cut his hair off with a knife and another boy held a knife to his back. The two boys have consequences regarding this but your son wanted me to let you know’.
I then said to Mr X that I would speak to my son about this on the walk home (as I wanted to hear the story from himself without other parents around as we were in the playground at the time).
The incident in my sons own words:
‘I was sat down at lunch when child 1’ sister got told off for having a toy and child 1 said that it was all my fault. Child 1 said that he would cut my hair off with a knife. Then child 2 put a knife on my back, which I felt. Then child 1 said ‘don’t even look at me.’ a girl said ‘x (my son) looked at child 1’ when I didn’t, I wasn’t looking at him at all. He then said (child 1) ‘I will do it, I will do it, if you go near my sister. I will do it don’t even look at me.’
‘One of my friends got a teacher who then spoke to child 1 and child 2. Then child 1 got sent to the office to eat his pudding. Child 2 then got to miss playtime and sent to the office.’
The teacher then asked me my name, and I told her my name. She said that she would tell my teacher and child 1 and child 2 teacher what happened.’

I am saddened by the way this has been reported to me, the fact that I think that this incident is serious enough for me to have been called shortly after and the fact that my son had to remind and ask his teacher to speak to me about it. Which asks the question would I have been informed at all if my son did not speak up and ask his teacher to speak to me or would he have kept the incident to himself which is upsetting. I would also like to know if the parents of child 1 and child 2 have been informed as if this was my child I would want to know.

Within your Anti-Bullying policy it states:
Procedures:
All reported incidents will be taken seriously and investigated involving all parties. Steps taken by the school will depend on the circumstances but may include:
• Interviewing all parties as close to the incident as possible, but within 24 hours
• Informing parents within 24 hours
• A range of responses appropriate to the situation: - solution focused, restorative approach, circle of friends, individual work with victim, perpetrator, referral to outside agencies if appropriate
• Referral to Behaviour policy and school sanctions and how these may be applied including what actions may be taken if bullying persists
• Follow up especially keeping in touch with the person who reported the situation, parents/carers on a weekly basis
• Support for the victim and the bully e.g. 1:1 time, counselling, restorative approach
• A safety map will be sought at the time of the Pupil Questionnaires being undertaken, in order to monitor the safety of the school site

At no point has my child been interviewed, which I feel given the seriousness of this should have taken place within a few hours of the incident being as it took place on a Friday. I am not sure of all other parties involved including witnesses if these have been interviewed but I would welcome an answer on this.
I don’t feel I was informed in the correct way. It was more my son wanted his teacher to inform me.
As per your Anti-Bullying policy – Reporting and responding to Bullying, I would like to know how this has been logged, if anything and when it was logged. If the two students parents have been informed and if the children are aged over 10 years and have the police been involved as this is a threatening situation involving knives and I would describe as common assault. I would also like to state that my sons father and myself are still considering reporting this to the police as we do not feel the situation has been dealt with correctly so far and not taken seriously enough, which knife crime is whether it be in or outside of school.
I would also like to know what form of disciplinary action has been taken against the students involved and what the school would deem as acceptable action by the school. I don’t think that having ‘playtime’ taken away from them is suitable punishment for this form of bullying and I would be deeply concerned if the school thinks and acts in only this way.
I send my child to school trusting that he will be in a safe and secure environment. When incidents like this are reported to me by my child and the school is acting in which I can only describe as a brush under the carpet and blasé way I seriously must question his welfare and safeguarding whilst in your care.
I would welcome a meeting to discuss this matter further at the very earliest opportunity.

[DressedCrab]

Far, far too long.

[TwitterQueen1]

Yes. Way, way too long. Also, why are writing such a long essay to the school when you should have reported it to the police?

[DullAndOld]

I believe that threatening someone with a knife, or indeed the possession of a bladed weapon is a criminal offence, and these boys at the older end of a middle school (years 7 and 8 as I recall) will be well over the age of criminal responsibility.
Therefore write a short message asking them when the police are coming.
If the answer is negative or not forthcoming then you know what to do..

[WhatwouldOliviaPopedo]

Agree with Crab, that's far long. Something brief like this will get the point across and make it clear to the school how serious you're taking it. All the other stuff about how you were told can be thrashed out face to face (take notes with you).

Dear HT

I would like a face to face meeting as the earliest opportunity to discuss the incident on Friday in which my son, xxxx, was threatened in the canteen with a knife by two older boys he has named as xxxxx and xxxxx. Given how serious this is, I want to know what measures are being taken to punish those boys and I also want reassurance about my son's safety at your school going forward.

Yours, etc

[Monkeypuzzle32]

police-they are under the age of criminal responsibility but they will still deal with it, I wouldn't bother with the school if they cant see the need for immediate action.

[calamityjam]

Was this a knife which they were very eating lunch with, or a weapon brought to school?

[DullAndOld]

no they are NOT 'under the age of criminal responsibility' if they are in the upper years of middle school they could be 11 - 13.

[The12DaysOfChristmasArentInNov]

I think you need to send the short version. Keep your long version as a log of events but you need to send a short message and speak face to face about it. Make notes of what they say. This is very serious and should be treated as such.

[Monkeypuzzle32]

ok Dull calm down-if they are under 10 they are, I assumed they were a couple of years older from the way I read it-it doesnt really change the advice.

[DullAndOld]

I do not need to 'calm down' thank you - no need to attempt to patronise me now is there, just because you were wrong.. they cannot be under 10 as they are in the top years of a middle school.

[Branleuse]

youre on a hiding to nothing if you think that the school are going to break confidentiality and start telling you how they are disciplining the other children.

Did your child see the knife? It does sound scary for your child, but there will be a completely different procedure if a child has actually brought a knife to school than if theyre just being shitbags and pretending they have.
Id also be fairly sure that they would speak to the parents in any case and impose sanctions/punishment, but this is not your business and they will not be discussing it with you. They should however reassure you that they are taking it seriously

[Apple23]

Send the shorter letter but don't ask what punishment the other children will receive, ask how the school intends to ensure your son is kept safe.

[AMumma16]

The school won’t be able to duscuss how they have dealt with the the perpetrators. Although I totally understand why you want to cover all bases on paper - if you stick to bullet points and the answers you require - it’ll make it easier in the long run.
It’s very disappointing, the way your child has had to ask for help. We had a similar situation and I’ve come to the conclusion it’s all sweeping stuff under the carpet.
Hope he’s ok. Good luck.

[milkandcookie]

I dont think its too long, seems well written tbf and given the gravity of the situation the length is justified, this isnt a school trip and your feelings need to be made clear.

I would add something about legal proceedings against the school as well that should give them the hurry up.