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My child is being bullied by a parent at school

(15 Posts)
leighak Wed 11-Oct-17 21:29:50

I'm a single father in a difficult situation, my daughter is being picked on by another parent, I found out this past week that this mother has been complaining week after week to the school that my child has bullied her daughter, i made an appointment with the headmaster to get to the bottom of it, his words were that since her 1st complaint they have checked daily with teachers, dinner ladies and support staff to see if there is anything to her complaint, every single one was shocked to hear such could be said, they used to play at the mother's house, but I couldn't let my child visit anymore, due to her cyberstalking my Facebook then instergram, even sending a friend request to the man who had an affair with my ex wife, he doesn't even live in the UK, and has no connection to anyone here, I'm sure I have a right to be upset over that, now I refuse to talk to her, respond to her messages, I even walk a different way to school to avoid her, since I've done that she has started whipping up a storm in the playground among other parents, and I feel that its my child who is going to suffer because of this, I can't stand bullying, and if my daughter bullied anyone I would be the first to pull her up and deal with it, but she is 5, and doesn't even shout let alone raise a hand. Please help, I am desperate for advice

MrsOverTheRoad Thu 12-Oct-17 06:02:24

Report her to the police for harrassment and keep a record of everything. Try to get something in writing from the head of the school. Even an email acknowledging it.

The police can issue a legal document which forbids her from contacting you.

RiotAndAlarum Thu 12-Oct-17 06:55:07

It sounds like she's trying to force you to engage with her. Even without all the stalking, it's best to let school handle complaints, so you're doing the right thing there.

As for the rest, yes, the police sound a good idea.

Out2pasture Thu 12-Oct-17 07:24:10

beware it certainly sounds like irrational behavior.

MissEliza Thu 12-Oct-17 15:07:35

If you've got evidence of at least two occasions where she's attempted to contact you in a way which made you feel intimidated or concerned, you may have a basis to have a police information notice issued. You should consider making an appointment to discuss this with a police officer.

MissEliza Thu 12-Oct-17 15:15:48

Also it might be worth sharing what you've said here with the head so he has a bit of background.

leighak Thu 12-Oct-17 16:03:32

I've told the head everything including the cyberstalking, to which he looked shocked, he assured me that my child is in no way bullying anyone, and her only problem is that she likes to talk...a lot(what 5yo doesnt) but even then he said it isn't an issue, no matter what he says though it doesn't stop this mother whipping up a frenzy among other mother's, who now see me as the bad person, there is nothing worse for a parent to think there is bully in the class, the problem is that they only listen to the mothers lies and don't ask me what's going on, and if I try to tell them it's a case of me just trying to cover it up,

MissEliza Thu 12-Oct-17 16:54:53

What do you think this women is saying? Do you think she is bad mouthing you or your dd?

leighak Thu 12-Oct-17 17:37:23

I have no idea of what she is exactly saying other than my daughter is a bully. Since I stopped talking to her for cyberstalking, which includes opening new Facebook accounts to send friend requests, she goes into the head to make a complaint, I still have her msg asking why I refuse to talk to her and that her daughter keeps asking for mine to go play at her house, why would she be asking if there really was bullying. I do find it funny that the only people she is saying it to is the people I usually talk to before school, but no one else, she is prepared to hurt 2 kids in her warped mind. I even tried talking to her husband to sort something out for the sake of the kids, but he is more interested in violence than solutions.

MissEliza Thu 12-Oct-17 17:59:36

Personally I think spreading rumours about your child in the playground is unacceptable. However why do you assume people believe it? If I was told that one child was bullying another, I'd ask my own child if she/he had seen anything. If they said no, that would be the end of it. TBH, I think most people won't really care unless their own child is affected. Could you be being a little paranoid? Why don't you try inviting some other children for play dates and see how the parents react before you make assumptions about what they're thinking?
Btw I'm speaking from experience. My ds and another boy really didn't get on in year 6 and 7. His mum tried to say some really nasty stuff about my ds. This got reported back to me by other mums who knew it was rubbish. I did send dh round to her house to warn her to stop (big brave me). Even her own husband wouldn't back her up. People don't automatically believe gossips or shit stirrers!

leighak Thu 12-Oct-17 18:35:18

I actually had 1 mother have a go, 2 others I used to talk to now don't and stand with the mother making accusations, I tried dealing with it through the school and they were great, I ask her teacher daily if there was any issues, and I'm told the same, no problem, played nice with everyone, yet the mother comes next day and says the same is still happening.

JessTavener Wed 25-Oct-17 22:25:25

Tell her to fuck off

Neverjustamum Tue 15-May-18 21:11:44

It's not just me then. I also have a psycho mum who's bullying my child. She's accussed my daughter of bullying hers. None of us, school, friends or us had any clue what she was on about. I honestly dont think the woman is sane and has some kind of syndrome where she revels in the feeling of her kids needing her. Anyway she accosted and shouted at my daughter in the street last Friday. She was horrendous. I reported her to the police and she's been told to stay away. I really hope she does. Her behaviour is strange and just want her to leave us alone. So horrible living with a situation like this. X

Ningnang2000 Wed 13-Jun-18 00:23:53

I have a mother like that too. She accused my daughter of bullying hers, I was willing to be open to that and sort it out but I investigated - spoke together parents and the school - conclusion was that not in my daughter's nature. The mum went funny with me, didn't invite DD to her parties, tore a strip off her at a community event and has been telling everyone how stressed out my DD makes hers. The thing is the girls still play together and enjoy each other's company. I reached out and suggested we try and sort it out but she completely blanked me. Unfortunately her DD is the queen bee and what she says goes and It's damaged my DD.

PaulMorel Tue 19-Jun-18 09:01:35

This is totally not acceptable. This might affect your daughter. I hope this could be resolve anytime soon.

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