Year 7 - who is bullying who!!!

[Storminateacup74]

My dd is in year 7 and is having a few problems with 2 girls from her primary school. My dd has made a few new friends and these 2 other girls don't like it. One of the girls is in her form and my dd says this other girl is constantly following her and at break and lunch when the other girl meets her friend they gang up on my dd. However the girl in her form is going home and telling her mum that my dd and the other girl are mean to her. She comes home in tears every night. I know the other girls mum and she says her dd is so upset.Both us mums know what girls can be like and are trying to help them work thing out. But to cut a long story short the other girl says my dd is bullying her and my dd says other girl is bullying her. School haven't seen any bullying behaviour whatsoever but both girls have so much hatred towards each other it is horrible. Not sure where to go from here as it is her word against the other girls .

[GreenTulips]

Then you accept it's 50/50

Talk to them about being kind and civil - they don't have to like each other but they do have to be respectful

[Tilapia]

To me, it doesn’t sound like either girl is bullying the other. Unless there is more to it than you’ve posted. It sounds more like a bumpy transition from primary to secondary which should hopefully blow over as they settle down and find their feet at the new school.

[youarenotkiddingme]

I've just started a thread about ds and another lad. My ds has started being unkind after 6 months of the other lad doing it and not stopping despite knowing it upsets ds.

I still think it's 50/50 on that case. I think it gets to the point they play tit for tat and need support to compromise or find another way.

My suggestion would be to your DD that she isn't in the room with them unless an adults there. I've seen it happen over and over that once they feel a group is attacking them they then pick up on every look etc and translate it as a dirty look or stare.