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Is she being bullied?

(9 Posts)
SunsetOnTheHorizon Fri 19-May-17 07:06:37

My DD is 5 and a half years old. Very bright for her age, she is confident, talkactive and usually very happy.

Recently she has started a language class after school. The class is at a the teachers house with several other children, the teacher is very close (family member).

After a few weeks in I have noticed her change, when I pick her up she is reserved and quiet and not her usual bossy self (maybe tired). One incident surprised me, my younger DD took her book and instead of taking it off her in usual bossy style she sat and cried. Second incident she doesn't mention anything extra about the class and when I quizzed her further she said the DD of the teacher told us not to tell our family about anything.

My worry is, is she being bullied into keeping quiet and is someone being mean to her? She is adamant she can't tell me, on the other hand I did quiz her for ages so maybe she thinks it is a game.

I can approach the teacher but as its a family memeber I do not want to rock the boat. WWYD? Remove her from class? Approach the teacher? (Send her in with a recording device)?

She hasn't got a class till Monday now, so would like some replies. DH is saying it is all ok, but it's my gut screaming at me.

Meeshel29 Fri 19-May-17 07:08:24

Something doesn't sit right with me. Can you stay whilst she's at class?

UrsulaPandress Fri 19-May-17 07:10:56

I'd remove her. A child being told not to tell always sets alarm bells ringing. How close are you to the teacher? Could you ask, in a jokey way, what on earth goes on that has to be kept so secret?

SunsetOnTheHorizon Fri 19-May-17 07:11:00

It is in a house and I have two other Dc's with me and the teacher has her own Older DC's. I don't want to seem like a nosey parent. The teaching room just about fits in her students.

SunsetOnTheHorizon Fri 19-May-17 07:13:35

Fairly close realtionship wise but she is a frosty type of person so not on a social level and I know she will become all defensive. My DD is very imaginative but do not want to overlook this if something is up.

Meeshel29 Fri 19-May-17 07:17:14

I'd remove her then. 100%

soapboxqueen Fri 19-May-17 07:20:10

I would take her out pronto. Being upset and withdrawn coupled with 'its a secret' would be the limit for me, especially considering the circumstances.

If your dd is upset and wants to go back then explain that you need to know what is happening otherwise you can't keep her safe.

As for the teacher, you could broach it in a 'have you noticed anything' way and keep it very generalised.

SunsetOnTheHorizon Fri 19-May-17 13:03:33

soap I will be speaking with the teacher, keeping it general. That is the odd thing, she is happy to go and doesnt want to stop going even when I tell her there are other classes doing the similar thing.

Can't put my finger on what is going on, I was even looking into planting a recording device on her... terrible I know.

user1491572121 Thu 25-May-17 11:32:03

Yes it would be terrible! You can't send her back! I'd be more worried about abuse than bullying!

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