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Year 6 continuous bullying advise needed

(14 Posts)
Mummy114 Fri 12-May-17 05:47:56

Hello
Really needed some advise I am at my wits end with our prep school a boy has been bullying my son for some time with several different incidents from kicking name calling swearing and threatening him. We have complained to the school and had several meetings with the school and head teacher. This boy has bullied a lot of other children too. The school refuse to tell me what sanctions they have given the child but only that they have dealt with the situation and cannot tell me as its against data protection but my query to the school is that then why is he still allowed to bully my child in some form every few days. I am now thinking of taking it to the governors can the school refuse to tell me what they are doing to protect my son apart from they have punished the boy in question and keeping an eye on the boys during playtime however yesterday there were two incidents during play time.

Also I had asked for all data on my son under the information freedom act and in the data given to me there were only emails where I had officially complained. Any incident that occured that I had not complained about as the school dealt with it or discussed it innoerson with the teacher was not included. They say they have a logging system where all bullying incidents are recorded when questioned why other incidents were not included they said data protection laws.

Any advise or help would be much appreciated as its a private school I feel they just care about the school fees.
Many thanks

hesterton Fri 12-May-17 05:51:18

Is he nearly finished there or were you planning on leaving him there until age 13?

I would be tempted to pull him out if it's that bad and both boys were to be there until end of Yr 8.

esiotrot2015 Fri 12-May-17 05:54:04

as its a private school I feel they just care about the school fees.

If you really think this then why keep him there ?

Mummy114 Fri 12-May-17 05:56:47

No only has another 8 weeks left thank god issue is it is affecting his confidence which is really concerning.

bigchris Fri 12-May-17 05:57:30

I'd be tempted to pull him out now and ask for a refund

Mummy114 Fri 12-May-17 06:03:17

I was thinking the same thing about pulling him out we have a futher meeting with the head teacher early next week the boy in question picks on lots of children so the school keep telling my son dont worry he does that to everyone

Astro55 Fri 12-May-17 22:05:10

You need the complaints procedure - it's will hopefully state that the governors are informed of all concerns of bullying (rarely does this actually happen) So technically they should know

It will also say you should expect a written reply in 5 days of the complaint or expected time scale and a review date

You must email every incident - every time - they do not log spoken complaints - ever

Refer to the pressure in your emails

Email the head after the meeting - take notes

'Further to our meeting concerning X Y Z where we agreed A would happen with a reveiw on B date

At the meeting stay clam

Explain in terms of DS feels DS says DS complains that -

Mention safeguarding and duty of care

Ask for the governors email address -
Ask if they have a community police officer

AMumma16 Sun 14-May-17 19:36:43

Astro55 - I'm glad you said all of that. I emailed the Headteacher regarding incidents aimed at my child and was treated like a pest - but was quite frankly desperate by that point. But what do you do if your child is so sad?
I have to say Mummy114 - don't expect too much from the Governors. You may be pleasantly surprised but we four in our case, they protected the Headmaster. I would choose which one you speak to wisely as the less they have an agenda with the School, the more likely they will be helpful to you. IMO! Good luck.

Astro55 Sun 14-May-17 19:49:15

That's the hardest part really - 'like all the happiness has been sucked out of the world'

Sad not eating or sleeping self harming -- tears tantrums confidence at all time low

I would love teachers to have anti bullying training and to find out what the family suffer because of it all

AMumma16 Sun 14-May-17 19:58:12

I just don't get why it is constantly swept under the carpet in Schools?! If you have a headteacher you respect who is fair but firm and has strict policies that they adhere to then it would make such a difference.

Our old School even went to great lengths to try and make us look bad when we followed the complaints procedure after over a year of our child enduring bullying. I found it pathetic and worrying that they are around kids if they are capable of making up such rubbish instead of facing up to their shortfalls.

Astro55 Sun 14-May-17 20:00:47

DD high school now makes bullied children attend at resilience coarse - about 12 weeks of missing (whatever) lesson before they can move tutor

The bullies however continue to rile and get nothing (except maybe a new victim)

AMumma16 Mon 15-May-17 21:32:50

A resilience course? I don't get it at all. It's as if there's something wrong with the poor kids getting picked on when there isn't. Wouldn't it be wiser to offer support to the bullies by sending them on a course - maybe Mindfulness or similar?

Astro55 Mon 15-May-17 23:03:47

I couldn't agree more!!

Relationships or mindfulness would be good idea - I will be raising this next week when I have a HOY meeting because as far as I know they aren't allowed to differentiate the victim in anyway

fannydaggerz Mon 15-May-17 23:16:15

Pull him out and complain.

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