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advice please - how many incidents constitutes bullying?

(9 Posts)
francer65 Fri 10-Feb-17 16:38:22

My DS in year 7 is having probs with one girl, who keeps using low level abuse, eg 'you're a loner' which he shrugs off and isn't bothered by ... but last week he was sitting next to a new pupil who is black to whom this girl said 'you're a nigger.' DS remonstrated and was told he was one too (DS has very obvious Latin heritage, rather than black). I politely emailed head of year - no response. Next day, girl holds up note to DS saying 'fuck off twat'. I email head of year again - no response. Two days later, still no response, email head of lower school. Two days later, still no response, email form tutor. Today, still no response, email head of lower school plus head. No response yet. Can someone tell me if I'm going over the top? I know there's a lot of pushing, swearing, macho posturing etc which I'[m not precious about, but the racial thing seems to me something the staff need to address. Or does it have to happen more than once? Thanks for advice

RaisinsAndApple Fri 10-Feb-17 16:41:01

No experience as mine are younger but I agree that the racist comment should be addressed - even as a one off. As far as I understand bullying is classed as repeated incidents - so it does seem to be what this girl is doing to your ds. Sorry - no practical advice.

BobbieDog Fri 10-Feb-17 16:43:53

What a little cow she is!

Instead of emailing i would go into the school and not leave until someone had gone into depth with me about what was now going to be the plan of action.

Fackorf Fri 10-Feb-17 16:46:18

That's appalling. The racist incident needs to be reported to the local authority (it is the school's responsibility to do this).

Once is too much angry

I would not be surprised if the bully has serious problems and disadvantages of her own, but the school should still have replied to you!

It is good to have the paper trail of the emails. I would suggest you look up the school's complaints procedure and start following it. The dc are in Year 7, so they have several more years together and this should be dealt with properly asap.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Fri 10-Feb-17 16:52:28

We had one incidence of racist bullying within a whole raft of low-level bullying.

Ds was shrugging off the low-level bullying (he is very resilient) so we knew nothing about it until he was pushed too far and snapped.

The school documented everything and responded to all our emails within 24h, often sooner. Reporting the racist bullying resulted in a meeting with the Head within 24h. And a satisfactory resolution by the end of that week.

So your school sounds seriously slack to me, and I would be extremely displeased with the way that they are not dealing with it.

Wolfiefan Fri 10-Feb-17 16:56:38

Your son sounds lovely to stick up for someone else in this way.
Racist abuse is NEVER OK. EVER! Once is enough.
School should get back to you. Ours had a policy that if a parent contacted the school then teachers had to respond within a certain time.
Call school and make an appointment to go in? Check procedure. Who should you complain to if school doesn't deal with this ASAP. School sounds rubbish.

smilingsarahb Fri 10-Feb-17 16:58:16

They should have replied to your emails and told you what action they are going to take perhaps phone on Monday and ask for a copy of the anti bulling policy and ask for a call back that day.

Astro55 Sun 12-Feb-17 23:38:34

I believe that should respond in writing within 5 working days - as per the complaints procedure - see if it's in the web site

Read it - email 'as per the X policy I expect a written responce by X date'

Things maybe happening behind the scenes - ie email all tutors ask questions - tutor chats in acceptable behavior- etc

But some feedback would be nice!

HelenaGWells Sun 12-Feb-17 23:43:46

I would have gone to tutor first but I would have complained. No idea how quick our school is as I've not had cause to complain but when I raised an issue with DD re her health I got a call that day and a meeting 2 days later.

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