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Is this sexual harassment serious enough to report?

(14 Posts)
StarfishandCoffee1 Fri 02-Dec-16 11:30:43

Hello,
Over the course of this term, dd & 5 friends have been subjected to repeated sexual assaults by 2 boys in their class. dd is 14 and they are in year 9. Physical abuse has included:
Going to hug the girls and sliding their hands down on to their bums.
Touching their breasts.
Putting their hands on the girls chairs so that the girls sit down on their hands.
Deliberately throwing their possessions on the floor then grabbing their bottoms & bits as the girls bend down to pick things up.
Verbal abuse has included publicly commenting on the size of their breasts. the shape of their bottoms and asking about their sexual activity (which is none).

The girls reported everything to the school. The school suspended the boys for 3 days and they came back into the class on Tuesday as heros to their peers. Since Tuesday one of the boys has shown no remorse and has now targeted the girls with more verbal abuse but this time relating to the fact that the girls reported him to the school. Hissing and calling of snakes seem to be the favorite.

I'm anxious that the boys are back in school and that dd has to share a class with him. The atmosphere is tense and the girls are the ones that are suffering. I have, of course, reported this new bullying to the school and are awaiting feedback. I'm wondering though, hence the post, if I should be reporting the sexually abusive behavior to the police or whether this would be an over reaction. I would welcome any views. Many thanks.

monkeywithacowface Fri 02-Dec-16 11:33:46

I would absolutely go to the police. Completely unacceptable. Make sure you raise every single incident with the school even if it means phoning them everyday and ask for a meeting about what they have put in place to protect you dd. God I would be raging!

user1471461436 Fri 02-Dec-16 11:35:49

Yes! A boy was like this in my school. Nothing was done until I punched him (as a student). Its not safe for it tl escalate

neolara Fri 02-Dec-16 11:36:06

I think I would be saying to the school that you were very close to reporting sexual assault to the police and asking what more they can do to keep your dd safe. I would explicitly talk to them about the culture of the year group that seems to makes this kind of bullying acceptable to the young people. This gives the school a chance to deal with the issue on a systemic level e.g. assemblies, PSHE. If things didn't improve very rapidly, I would follow through and report to police.

ChipIn Fri 02-Dec-16 11:40:52

Discipline from the school has done nothing but exacerbate the situation. At 14 he's old enough to know right from wrong and this is absolutely wrong. Going to the police is absolutely not an overreaction as he doesn't seem to understand that his behaviour is illegal and harmful to your DD and her friends.

I hope manage to get it sorted and your DD is ok, poor love.

monkeywithacowface Fri 02-Dec-16 11:42:46

I actually think regardless of the schools stance this needs flagging with the police. The classroom isn't the only place these boys will have contact and opportunity to assault girls.

ZoFloMoFo Fri 02-Dec-16 11:44:03

Yeah I'd just go to the police about this now.

It's all documented at school so there'll be plenty of evidence?

LifeLong13 Fri 02-Dec-16 11:49:14

Report it to the police. As well as dealing with the boys behaviour this will set an example to your daughter that she shouldn't be accepting of being treated this way later in life. You sound fab for acting in the first place.

StarfishandCoffee1 Fri 02-Dec-16 13:08:54

Thank you all x

BratFarrarsPony Fri 02-Dec-16 13:13:08

Yes go to the police. All of the boys are over the age of criminal responsibilty and are committing criminal acts which the school are obviously minimising. IF they behaved like this outside of school then they could be arrested. Sending them this message would be doing everyone a favour.
Tell the school first.

OdinsLoveChild Fri 02-Dec-16 13:30:05

StarfishandCoffee1 I started a thread about the very same thing a few weeks ago at my DD's school. I had spoken to every member of the SLT and the Deputy Head and eventually the Head.

My DD is now experiencing some very horrible 'passive aggressive' bullying from the boys involved after the staff investigated but let it slip which student had made a complaint against them angry.

I have spoken with my local area Police Officer because I felt the school was letting my DD down and they have been into the school to give a few talks on this sort of behaviour. It hasn't stopped it completely but its died down a little now and the boys are certainly more cautious when around my DD because they have been told they can end up on the sex offenders register which will affect their careers if they continue to behave in this way.

Having spoken to other friends with children at other high schools this is a really common problem. I was very surprised to hear this because on my thread several people commented it was unusual and they believed it didn't happen in their school. I genuinely felt my DD had gone to the worst school in the area because this happened at her school. In fact it happens everywhere but its how the school deals with it that makes a difference. Those posters who felt it was unusual either haven't yet come across this issue or their school is good at catching it before it escalates.

Definitely speak with the Head and also the local police and get them to go into school and chat with the entire year about it and not just the few lads doing it. It will make the other students more aware of it going on and it will encourage more students to say its wrong and support those victims.

northernmonkey1010 Sat 21-Jan-17 00:04:00

Ring the police and get them to sort it. The little vile bastards need going on the sex offenders list or are the school waiting for them to go further and actually rape someone

nancy75 Sat 21-Jan-17 00:09:10

more & more often I wonder why we let things that happen in school be dealt with by the school. What is happening is sexual assault, if it happened in the street or on a bus we would report it to the police but because it happens in a school it is not taken as seriously. The same goes for physical bullying

Badbadbunny Sun 22-Jan-17 20:09:30

You've given the school the opportunity to sort it. They havn't. Now you NEED to report it to the police.

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