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Bullying

Intervening when other mother isn't paying attention

12 replies

Fleaflea87 · 04/11/2016 14:23

Hi sorry I'm completely new to this site but needed a bit of advice Smile
I my son is in reception(4 years old) and in the play ground after school another boy (7 years) shoved him very hard and he fell backwards. The other boy then stood over him while my son cried. I called over to my son and asked if he was OK he replied that the older boy had pushed him, the older boy turned and told me my son had tripped so I said come on I saw what happened your much bigger then (my son) he's only little it's not kind to push you need to be a but more gentle, can you please move a bit so he can get up. Now I didn't raise my voice or even talk sternly (I'm very quiet and hate anyone shouting at children I prefer to discuss and give them a chance to resolve things)
Anyway I thought that was the end of it .... I thought wrong the mother of the older boy came over nearly ten minutes later and got right in my face accusing me of shouting at her son Hmm and that her sons best friend saw my son 'trip' as well (who ever heard of tripping backwards while running forwards? Lol) he never lies and that hes not that sort of boy. I explained what i had saw happen but she kept getting more and more in my face repeating that I should have come to her and not said anything to her son. Bare in mind I don't even know his name let alone who his mother was. I told her that had she been watching her son she would have seen it herself. Again she kept repeating herself getting more and more aggressive it wasn't until the teacher came over that she walked away.
I was very shaken up by this I didn't realise mothers bullied other mothers in the playground. To top it off she tried to make a complaint against me for yelling at her son thankfully I had witnesses but how am I meant to handle this? I'm quite anxious/nervous in general as it is from years in a abusive relationship and now I'm panicking about going to pick the kiddies up, was I in the wrong for saying something to him? Any advice is welcome x x x

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neolara · 04/11/2016 14:27

Other mum sounds deranged.. You behaved completely appropriately. Don't sweat it. Anyone who saw will think she's bonkers. In fact, she's probably behaved like that before and has a reputation for doing so.

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JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub · 04/11/2016 14:35

The mother sounds like a bully and the son is learning the behaviour from her by the sounds of it. I would maybe speak to a senior teacher about it, explain the situation and that there were witnesses. I'm sure this mother will have have behaved like this before, the school may already know about her. Then if anything happens again they know there is history. When there were issues with my DS with bous in his class I never spoke to the parents, always the teachers. I know it's very hard but try not to let her intimidate you, get other mums as back up Flowers

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JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub · 04/11/2016 14:36

*with boys in his class

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Fleaflea87 · 04/11/2016 14:37

Thank you neolara i know I sound a little sensitive but I was just so shocked by her behaviour x x

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Fleaflea87 · 04/11/2016 14:40

Thank you JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub I've spoken to the head who has had words but I just find it so hard as it is to go out this has made it so much worse. X

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DixieWishbone · 04/11/2016 14:42

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DixieWishbone · 04/11/2016 14:45

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JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub · 04/11/2016 16:49

Dixie Grin. Flea I'm not good with confrontation either, I would have been really shocked too, you didn't do anything wrong, you were protecting your child. Unfortunately there are bullies everywhere life and I'm trying hard how to deal with them too. It's good the head knows, I'm sure there will have been issues before. Don't let the bds get you down as someone once said to me although easier said than done Flowers

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Fleaflea87 · 04/11/2016 18:05

Thank you all so much Smile I'd like to say I was brave but I went and collected my two early shaking like a leaf. It's so frustrating I hate feeling intimidated on the plus side I did see her as I drove away she took her wing mirror off her shiney BMW in the lanes Grin karma getting her I guess. Hope you all have a lovely weekend x x

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JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub · 04/11/2016 20:47

Lol good karma is working! Stay strong Smile

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DixieWishbone · 07/11/2016 11:58

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JuddNelsoninTheBreakfastClub · 07/11/2016 17:44

I need to practice that look Dixie!

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