How can I help my son stop being bullied

[Abs1979]

I have a 9 year old son who is the sweetest nicest boy you could meet and he has his certain ways. He has friends and he's lucky that they all know him in his primary school. However I'm thinking ahead to big secondary school and I know they won't accept him due to his appearance and ways. He's too soft to stand up for himself and I can't be there as I have 2 younger ones. Can anyone offer any advice. I know how it feels to be bullied as I was. I hate this thought that he will be too

[Abs1979]

I have a 9 year old son who is the sweetest nicest boy you could meet and he has his certain ways. He has friends and he's lucky that they all know him in his primary school. However I'm thinking ahead to big secondary school and I know they won't accept him due to his appearance and ways. He's too soft to stand up for himself and I can't be there as I have 2 younger ones. Can anyone offer any advice. I know how it feels to be bullied as I was. I hate this thought that he will be too

[Abs1979]

I have a 9 year old son who is the sweetest nicest boy you could meet and he has his certain ways. He has friends and he's lucky that they all know him in his primary school. However I'm thinking ahead to big secondary school and I know they won't accept him due to his appearance and ways. He's too soft to stand up for himself and I can't be there as I have 2 younger ones. Can anyone offer any advice. I know how it feels to be bullied as I was. I hate this thought that he will be too

[lordStrange]

How do you know they won't accept him due to his appearance and ways ?

He is only 9 so secondary is a little way away. What sort of secondary school are you planning for him, what is ofsted's view of the cohort generally and the caring provided by the school?

It's horrible to worry. My son is somewhat quirky and I've worried myself! Quite often kids hook up with other oddballs and all is fine.

[Abs1979]

I know it is a way off, but as a mummy you sorry don't you. He's such a cuddly monkey. They say they are good on bullying but I know they aren't. I went to the school he will go to. I just don't want him to go through the same things

[lordStrange]

Will his current friendship group also likely to go to this school? That will help him a lot. Also he sounds lovely .

I'm sorry you were bullied, and obviously you will be concerned given your own experience of this particular school. Is there not a better school if you think it's a bit rough?

I think this may be a bridge to cross if it comes up. I think a lot of us mums to gentle boys worry about them in this way.

[Tamarandave]

Firstly trust your instinct on this issue. You (and he) know him the very best. Better than any teacher or 'expert' does or ever will. If you are concerned, then firstly never send him to a Steiner school as they dont deal well with bullying at all.
Send him to the school you think best, but ask him often how he is feeling and doing at this school. Ask open but specific questions such as " are any children being nasty to him" or making him upset and what do they do etc. If he is being bullied and the school/teachers dont address it firmly and fast, take him out. Ultimately his self esteem and self worth is what will help in life so even if he is home educated and behind, that is far preferable to him being destroyed for life by bullying and its consequences and after-effects. Also make sure there is no anger in the house and home.