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Not bullying as such but concerns this may escalate

(2 Posts)
80schild Mon 18-Jan-16 14:30:01

DS1 has always been a bit immature for his age and to top it off a bit naughty (not nasty but shouting out in class etc). He is 6.5 yrs and has been at his school for nearly 3 years.

Last term his teacher was really positive like she has never been before - saying he has calmed down, he doesn't shout out anymore and he is doing really well academically. I am really pleased for him. However, this term he keeps on coming home saying that other children are blaming him for things. When I asked him what type of things he gave me this example -
him and his friend were in the playground at the end of playtime both of them were being a bit rowdy and not going indoors. The teacher noticed and asked them what was happening.

Apparently, when the teacher asked what was going on, the other little boy blamed it all on my DS. Now whilst I know my DS isn't perfect I also know that other people's children aren't always blameless themselves and DS doesn't have form for this kind of behaviour - the result was that DS got into trouble. He said that this had happened twice now and twice the teacher has mentioned it to me.

Other parents also have referred to my child as being "naughty" (which I find a bit tactless in any event) and also makes me think if they are saying to my face they probably also think it is safe to say it to their children and this might be putting ideas into the heads of other children.

I have been telling DS that sometimes if you do something enough people will blame you even if you don't do it but they will get over it in time when they see he is trying. This isn't happening though - if anything he is starting to get into trouble again. If anything I can see DS is getting frustrated at the fact that even when he is trying hard to be good he is still getting into trouble. Does anyone else have experience of dealing with this sort of situation and if so, how did you deal with it?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Thu 21-Jan-16 23:38:51

You need to speak up for you son - mine was a bit older - a child who was considered an angel kept putting the blame on my son, he was a bit shell shocked to speak up!! (He's a good boy!) the teacher wasn't asking the right questions and took the other boys side.
However I spoke to her and had witnesses to one incident, then it happened again and she didn't ask the right questions!! I was soooo annoyed - luckily the DC mother text me and I was able to put her straight about he DS missing a few "facts" in his story!! He wasn't accused again!

Also kids are sneaky and astute and will know your son is "naughty" and therefore an easy target to pass blame onto - yes even at 6 1/2!!

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