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Am I being bullied in college by the staff, for being a young mum?

(5 Posts)
teenmumxo Sat 13-Jun-15 21:31:17

Hello (sorry for such a long post),
I was just wondering if I could have some advice off some young mummies, I'm 19 and have a 2 year old and I'm 21 weeks pregnant with my second. I feel like college are treating me unfairly, I found out I was pregnant very early about 4 weeks gone and when I found out my intentions were obviously to carry on with the pregnancy, I went to see one of the college councillors to talk about how I could carry on at college and for advice on housing etc, and she immediately told me she thought it would just be a better idea for me to have an abortion and even tried booking me an appointment at an abortion clinic, I was shocked. She also told me not to tell some of me teachers I was pregnant again as they would be judgemental because they "were in their 40s and hadn't had any kids". My plans were to stay at college to at least the end of this year to get a qualification so it will be easier in the future as I want to be a paramedic. I feel like this is now impossible, I missed a few days in college due to antenatal appointments and now for some reason they won't let me aim any higher than a D on my work?!? And on pieces I did get at A or B on at the beginning of the year they've marked it down to a D, I've also had one of my teachers tell me that an ultrasound isn't a good enough reason to take a day off, I should be in college, I also had a bleed when I was 9 weeks pregnant and had to be taken into hospital and I then got a kidney infection at about 12 weeks, and when I was back in college my teacher said to me I'm only pregnant I shouldn't be at the doctors as much as I am?? She said I might as well drop out now to even though the year finishes next week. They're just treating me like poo and I was wondering if anyone had been through the same x

NannaFaye Sun 14-Jun-15 07:17:57

It infuriates me to hear how badly you are being treated. And for a counselor to push an abortion is simply unacceptable. She is there to help you academically. You say they have actually changed your grades after giving you an A/B? Do you have hardcopy proof? If so, take it to your Dean. I am in the US so I am not versed in the academic rules of your universities. I am a retired paramedic. after 25 years working with an Advanced Cardiac and Trauma service. My career began when women were first entering the profession. It was extremely trying. Instructors were sometimes very chauvanistic and belittling. I was in my early 20's with a 3 year old and divorced. Hang in there. Try taking as many courses as possible on line. Don't let them tear you down. I wish you much success and best wishes on the birth of your baby

Frenchmustard7 Sun 14-Jun-15 07:33:52

I think you need to email an official complaint to the head of college HR AND the head of student services. Keep things factual and unemotional about who said what. Also mention that your grades have been down graded due to pregnancy related hospital emergencies and routine Scans. This needs to be dealt with formally

Councillor shouldn't be advocating abortion or keeping the baby. He/she should have no personal opinion about the matter and be led by you. Also the reasons given for keeping quiet are dubious. As a teacher I would seek to support a student who was pregnant.

maccie Sun 14-Jun-15 13:17:22

You should also have a student rep who can help you look into making a complaint official. Do not let this drop as anyone else who finds themselves in your position could benefit from the complaint going ahead. Congratulations on your pregnancy and well done for carrying on with your education under such adversity.

Lozza1990 Fri 13-Nov-15 15:17:03

This really got under my skin. Let me get this right, they are judging you for being a teen mum and not having money to afford your kids so therefore they are stopping you from getting qualifications so you will have more money to take care of your kids. What on EARTH is wrong with people? You should write a formal complaint definitely about that 'counsellor' and whatever teachers marked down your worked.

You also really need to stick up for yourself if you haven't already, find a teacher who will listen to you and tell her everything, but don't just do nothing. Good luck, it will get better! grin

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