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Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

Bullying

Bullied children being asked to leave the school

48 replies

Francesca1234 · 03/06/2015 09:55

My 4 year-old son was attacked in the toilets of his school last October. It was completely unprovoked and the attackers admitted to what they did.
One of the first things the headteacher said to us after the incident was 'you are welcome to find another setting for your child if you aren't happy here.'

Since leaving the school we have heard of many parents who have pulled their children out of the school for similar reasons to us. We've also heard that the school has gained a reputation of being the 'bullying school' with parents in the catchment area scared that their children will be forced to go there.
Also, since we left, every teacher in the school has been replaced (except the head).

A new ofsted report has just come out saying that the school is good across the board. I complained bitterly to ofsted at the time and am shocked that they haven't picked up on any of the problems. All I can think is that by being asked to leave the school the head is getting rid of the parents who are likely to complain in order to get a good ofsted report. Has anyone else heard of this happening?

OP posts:

Report

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/06/2015 10:02

I think we need to hear the inbetween bit before passing judgement.

Because there's abit missing between your child getting hit and you being asked to leave I imagine.

Oliversmumsarmy · 03/06/2015 10:02

Dd had a similar situation when a particular girl was moved into her class of 30 pupils. The head told us that they were an inclusive school and they took anyone from the local community and if we didn't like it we could leave. We did followed by over the next 2 years 18 other children. They then rejigged the 2 classes in the year group to equalise the numbers. The class size went down to 9. The school is rated Outstanding.

BertrandRussell · 03/06/2015 10:05

"The head told us that they were an inclusive school and they took anyone from the local community and if we didn't like it we could leave."

Well, I'm not surprised if you went to him complaining that he gave a place to a catchment child, as he is required to do.........

Francesca1234 · 03/06/2015 10:12

Hi Dranksangria,

There is absolutely nothing between my child being attacked and seeing the head teacher about it. We phoned and made an appointment to see her, my son was kept home from school that day and we saw her in the evening.

OP posts:

Francesca1234 · 03/06/2015 10:13

Hi Oliversmumsarmy

I wouldn't have believed you if I'd have read your comment a year ago...I do now!

OP posts:

Oliversmumsarmy · 03/06/2015 10:35

But we were all "catchment area" children but 23 catchment area children had to leave and find other schools so I am unsure of your point.

Francesca1234 · 03/06/2015 10:47

I think what's sad about it is that so many pupils can be taken out of a school by their parents and no one seems to pick up on it or work out that there's a problem. I remember speaking to the local authority after we swapped schools and asking if they had a database somewhere where they record the reasons pupils leave - since I went to all the trouble of writing it on the form! He just said to me 'No, why would we? We've given you your new school now that's the end of the matter'.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 03/06/2015 10:50

"But we were all "catchment area" children but 23 catchment area children had to leave and find other schools so I am unsure of your point."

Why did they " have to leave"?

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/06/2015 10:50

And you went into the appointment and were basically told to remove your child from the school?

How very odd.

So there was no:

Parent "Now I'm a bit upset about the fact that Junior has been thumped in the loo. What are you, as a school, going to do about that and could I see your antibullying policy please?"

Just a :
HT "Good evening Parent of Thumped Child, if you're not happy here, why not leave?"

I'm afraid I don't believe you.

momtothree · 03/06/2015 10:53

Yes several kids have left due to bullying. No records are kept and there is no requirement to keep records or more importantly outcomes of these incidents. Parents have no voice - children have no choice. Im all for inclusive however some children are challenging and staff need to be able to deal with them effectively. Not to the detriment of the other children.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/06/2015 10:53

PS 2 x 4 yr olds thumping each other in the loo isn't bullying btw. It's 2 x 4 yr olds thumping each other in the loo.

Hopefully you are at a "nicer" school where it never happens now.

FeelingSmurfy · 03/06/2015 10:58

I was bullied in primary school ending up with the child's 17yr old sister following me home saying stuff (I was 9/10) the only option we were given was for me to move classes away from all the friends I had been with since reception in to a class where I knew nobody, they couldn't move the bully as it wouldn't be fair to insist she moved away from her friends! My parents struggled with this but did move me in the end, still don't agree with it though!

momtothree · 03/06/2015 10:59

Its not the incident its the lack of dealing with it effectively thats the issue..... you have all witnessed ineffective parents whos kids run riot... same at school .... if they dont step up and deal with it properly.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 03/06/2015 11:01

The only thing I can add as I am not able to comment on your situation without a fuller picture of what happened / what was said - is that if you are unhappy with a school you don't complain to Ofsted. They are not interested - individual issues are dealt with by the Head, then if not happy with their response the Board of Governors and if still not properly dealt with then the Local Authority - assuming this is not an Academy/ Free school.

Ofsted have no interest/ authority in dealing with complaints about an individual school, outside of the very generic questionnaire they ask to be completed by parents during an inspection, the observations of the individual Ofsted inspectors, meetings with Teachers/ Governors, results from tests, and checks on record keeping and monitoring data, form the basis of the report.

Devora · 03/06/2015 11:02

I'd really like to hear more from the OP BEFORE she gets jumped on with accusations of lying and implications that she's a PFB snob. Could we not ask a few more questions before the rush to condemn?

anyoldnameforathread · 03/06/2015 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/06/2015 11:03

I'm confused. Are you the OP momtothree?

I agree totally that all acts of violence towards any child should absolutely be logged and parents informed. My child was threatened with death by another girl in primary and I went in and played hell. So I am sympathetic. In my case, it was a one off, it never happened again. It wasn't bullying. Bullying is sustained violence, physical or emotional. And schools are I believe required to have a policy in place.

That you've waited almost an entire academic year to talk about this incident seems odd tbh. I don't quite understand why.

bigTillyMint · 03/06/2015 11:04

I wonder if this is a new academy/new HT? I do know of quite a few schools where the staff have been completely replaced - the HT coming in and being of "it's my way or the highway" type.

OP, does your DS have any additional/SN's? It is not uncommon for a HT of the above type to get rid of any children who do not "fit in" in their mind. Or maybe the HT just doesn't like parents questioning what is happening in their school?

bigmouthstrikesagain · 03/06/2015 11:05

If the school is getting a 'good' Ofsted then they must have at least an outwardly effective safeguarding policy in place, an incident log of all injuries and a record of children entering and leaving the school to provide an auditable trail. If not they would not get 'good' the policies should be held on the school premises and if possible on the website of the school to be accessed by parents.

momtothree · 03/06/2015 11:08

No im not the OP .... have had simular dealing with a school .,, child being bullied ... head said the same!!? Older child when on for months with no action. So yes I think the system is wrong. School not accountable records not kept LA not interested... blah been there done that got the angry mom t-shirt!

Oliversmumsarmy · 03/06/2015 11:21

"They" had to leave for the same reason I pulled my dd out of the school. Without my dd there she started on a friends son, he left 3 weeks after my dd. And so on.

Francesca1234 · 03/06/2015 16:48

Thanks all for replying, in answer to some of your questions:

I actually spoke to a representative of ofsted who suggested I complain to them. They then passed the complaint on to the local authority.

The school isn't a new academy and the headteacher has remained the same.

I think it's crazy no records are kept of the reasons people take their children out of schools and it does seem that headteachers would have a reason for asking people to leave if they wanted to. I'm sorry that people have found themselves in the same situation as me. I hope your kids are doing really well now.

OP posts:

momtothree · 03/06/2015 22:12

I know exactly where you are coming from. The LA supports the school, school dont keep records, parents hand picked for ofstead, bullying not investigated or taken seriously ... huge issue no one looking. Nothing for parents, its very sad and very annoying.

SavoyCabbage · 03/06/2015 22:20

What actually happened when your child was hurt?

What did the teacher or adult dealing with the incident say and do?

What did you say to the head and what did the head say to you?

ladybirdpoppy · 14/09/2015 16:27

My DS was bullied on and off by another boy in his class for 3 years, the the extend that last year he suffered 2 physical attacks from him causing severe bruising. After a week long discussion with the Head, it was raised that if I was not happy that they would be sorry to loose DS. Despite their anti-bullying policy not tolerating physically behaviour which results in suspension the other child got rewarded each week for not hitting anyone.

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