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Bullying or kids being kids?

(3 Posts)
flipityflopity Wed 11-Feb-15 18:00:14

First off let me state I do not blindly defend my child. When she's wrong, she's disciplined appropriately.

Over the last few months we've had issues with one particular child. She had previously accused another child of bullying but that child has now moved away. It seems that my daughter is being touted as the new "bully". This child comes out of school almost daily with tales of what my daughter has done that day that she considers mean. The child (and her mum) are very sensitive and often the report "meaness" is just kids learning the rules of society (who sits by who, who's lunch smells gross etc). The mum always panders to the child a never brushes it off as telling tales, as I would unless it was serious.
Sensitive kid has form for lying about other kids but sensitive mother doesn't take this into account - she does blindly defend her child.

Myself and sensitive mum have been quite pally in the past but this is causing strain. No other kids or their mums have reported my child as mean, which leads me to think it's just sensitive kid being sensitive.

My daughter is quite stoic. She's dealt with a lot in her 6 years and I've taught her "don't sweat the small stuff" and she doesn't. When she gets upset about school I tell her to ignore it and move on. Is this the wrong approach? Should I be making mountains out of tell tale molehills.

My concern is that when sensitive kids comes out of school to report my child to her mum (and all the other mums) everyone's quick to say "oh that's not nice is it" but as soon as we're in the car and my daughter is finally allowed to voice her side, sensitive kid is just as bad with the "meaness"
I don't feel like I can bring this up because it just seems like point scoring. Also I don't like the whole "your child said this to my child" thing. I think to a certain degree they should fight tbattles.

So what I really want to know is what do I do? Ignore the constant accusations and let everyone think that my daughter is nasty? Confront sensitive mum and at least ask that she gets both sides of the story? Make a big deal every time my child reports meaness? I come home feeling awful as this happens regularly and I don't know what to do short of speaking to the school to see if my daughters behaviour does warrant the constant reports from sensitive kid.
Please advise!

degreebattles.

flipityflopity Wed 11-Feb-15 18:01:21

Blooming phone! Tbattles - fight their own battles.

ThatWentWell Wed 18-Nov-15 16:10:09

I know this is an old message but I just wondered how things have turned out? Hope things are better now. I've seen this sort of thing happen at my nephew's school and I know it's difficult.

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