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Year 11 being Bullied in Grammer School

(10 Posts)
Bullying1 Wed 26-Feb-14 14:28:16

Hi, please could anyone help me, I dont know where to turn to next. My yr 11 daughter is being bullied severly both at school and on social networks from a gang of girls from her school. I have spokent to school everyday nearly and she has been told to keep her head down it will blow over and all sorts of awful things by the deputy head.
Please help as I am worried her state of mind is worrying.

LauxSx Wed 26-Feb-14 14:38:10

There are lots of online resources for your daughter to seek advice, such as ChildLine -

and Mindfull -

The school also has a legal obligation to provide your daughter with a safe learning environment, and not acting on your enquiries means that they are failing to do this.

Perhaps you could arrange a meeting with the head in person and try and figure out a plan of action?

I hope this manages to get sorted out. This must be a horrible thing for both you and your daughter.

Bullying1 Wed 26-Feb-14 14:52:41

Hi, thanks for your advice but we have done all this, spoken to people on line, only today spoken to the New Head along with the Deputy Head and its not doing anything. My daughter doesnt even go to Form anymore, she has to sign in at Reception, she doesnt attend Assembly, PE, DFL, Lunch times she hides away from these girls, but as the deputy head said, "she doesnt think the girls are getting a kick out of this" its a total joke, these girls are walking about freely.

Beacuse its so close to GCSEs time is not prving on our side at all.
My daughter has them laughing in her face and commenting I wish I had as many friends as you. The deuputy head today said we cant tell them to stop laughing, I didnt know what to say to her. she then had the cheek to say "its her word against yours" my daughter was in pieces in fron of them, I couldnt believe it, i did say " i dont see their parents here saying they cant get their daughters into school" she receives abusive phone calls of these girls from random mobile numbers. Its so bad I even went to the girls parents houses as school wouldnt bring in their parents??? I was told by a consultant and a head of maths "their daughter doesnt even hang around with that "riff raff group" and asked to leave...

We drove past them today and the girls stood and laughed at us, its awful i dont know how my daughter takes herself in to the school..if it was me I couldnt

Its affected the whole family, its so sad and upsetting

knickernicker Wed 26-Feb-14 20:58:56

You need to escalate now with plenty of documented evidence to governors then to ofsted.

knickernicker Wed 26-Feb-14 21:00:53

Also are you collecting the cyber bullying evidence?

Bullying1 Wed 26-Feb-14 22:18:27

Hi, we have escalated as high as we can especially with the timeframe as possible before the gcses. Yes we have the evidence on cyber bullying but again the timeframe to get things sorted is so short before the exams.

zipzap Wed 26-Feb-14 23:10:24

Could you go to the police with the cyberbullying stuff?

You could at least ring 101 and speak to somebody at the police station to get advice given the school are being so useless.

Maybe being spoken to by the police will make them think twice about their behaviour... And if it screws up their gsce year - then so what - they are happy to screw your dd's year up. For cyber bullying, are you allowed to get a restraining order so that the people that have done it aren't allowed within a certain distance of your dd? If you could that would be an answer to your problems - as they wouldn't then be able to go to school if she was there, so your dd would be free of them as a result of their own actions.

Could your dd carry something that she could use to record the bullying on? Don't know what the school's policy on smartphones at school is - but maybe you record them outside of school if you see them too? Then it won't be her word against their's - there will be documented evidence. I know that recording people when they don't know is a whole different kettle of fish - but if your dd is under verbal attack from these people then it's not the same as just randomly recording people.

I suspect that if you go to the parents house that you could get into trouble or it could backfire. I'd just go down the police route and let them sort it out.

I'd also separately send a letter to the head teacher, and cc it to the deputy (if they have been involved), the chairman of the governors and the relevant person at the council. In it I'd say what has been going on, the fact that despite asking for this to be resolved it hasn't been and your dd is still being bullied at school and online. And that as such, they are failing to provide a safe learning environment for your dd as she is entitled to. So, you want to have an action plan to ensure that they do provide a safe learning environment for her - highlight that it is her GCSE year so this is a dreadful thing to happen as it could negatively impact the rest of her life, so it really needs to be sorted out quickly. Stick a timescale in and see what happens - and keep following it up and chasing.

It must be horrible for your dd not to be able to do the normal things that others do at school and to be dealing with all this on top of other stuff so just keep going back to school and detail them with every little thing. Make sure your dd keeps a log of everything that happens in school too, to be used as evidence of what is happening to her.

Hope it all gets sorted - good luck.

redmapleleaves Sat 01-Mar-14 15:40:46

So sorry to hear this. Just to say I was told by our school when I went in with big sheaf of emails/screenshots that I should have got police involved sooner. I would agree phone them on 101. Also Kidscape bullying helpline very very supportive for parents.

Very good luck.

vonessar Sat 29-Mar-14 07:08:29

Video evidence and get the authorities involved asap.

JokersGiggle Mon 31-Mar-14 22:16:35

That happened to me when I was in secondary school. It wasawful.
Go to the police. My mum did and it stopped the next day and the gossip about it was gone within a week.
The police are great and will also offer your dd support and arrange counselling if she wants (they did for me, and me neice who went through a similar situation last year) x

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