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Help me be more Confident Speaking to a Teacher Today.

(6 Posts)
YesAnastasia Wed 22-Jan-14 11:59:47

I need to know how to stay calm and make my point confidently. His teacher has already tried to dismiss what I'm saying this morning but has asked me to come back this afternoon after school. I can't express myself properly. I interrupt her constantly which I know is VERY annoying, I cry, I go pink & forget what I'm saying.

The specifcs aren't really important but here they are anyway:
My DS is 4.5 and being bullied at school. There are 2 boys in his class who he thinks are his friends and sometimes they are. Those are the times when DS's behaviour is manageable and he is happy in school.

There are times though, when they both decide to be horrible to DS. He is very sensitive and feels every single hurtful comment keenly but doesn't seem to in the normal way. They tell the other children not to be friends with him, they threaten to tell the teacher on him all the time even when he's not done anything, they wind him up so he'll get into trouble then laugh at him afterwards. I have witnessed a lot of this kind of thing happen outside of school too. When they're being horrible to him, he can't handle it. He becomes withdrawn and uncooperative. He also has meltdowns that the teachers think is because he's been made to do something but I know he has been upset earlier and it has resulted in this. It doesn't really matter how she deals with this or even if she 'believes' there is a problem, I just need to be able to talk about this without looking like an unstable emotional wreck.

He is being assessed for special needs at the moment and the teacher is not only aware but has instigated a referral herself.

ShanghaiDiva Wed 22-Jan-14 12:03:54

Make a list of ponts you want to make before the meeting and take it with you. this way you can ensure you cover everything you want to say.

good luck

YesAnastasia Wed 22-Jan-14 12:48:30

Thank you, I will. Does anyone know what works with teachers? How can I get her to care?

SpiderStacy Wed 22-Jan-14 12:58:16

I sympathise with you, I'm the same in these situations. Some years ago I heard the expression "quiet hands and face", which I find helps me to keep calm.

I agree with writing things down - but is there anyone you could take with you, for support. Also, ask her to keep a written record of your meeting - that usually helps people to focus and take things seriously. And if the situation is not resolved, start keeping notes on what is happening, with as much detail as possible and dates, times and places.

If the teacher is not interested in supporting your child, then I think you need to escalate things and speak to the head.

The website family lives gives advice about dealing with bullying and has a helpline. They were very helpful when my son was being bullied. I hope your son is ok.

YesAnastasia Wed 22-Jan-14 13:04:40

Calm hands and face smile OK. And I forget to breathe. I need to listen to her as well. I'm always conscious of time so ramble on and don't let her finish a sentence. I'm never that tide usually. I bet I really bug her, I want her to like me and my child do she'll help me...

YesAnastasia Wed 22-Jan-14 13:05:12

No tide, *rude

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