Year 6 dd being bullied...advice needed please

[Katie172]

Your advice would be very much appreciated as I am feeling really worried about my 10year old dd. She is very quiet at school and has had the same best friend since year R. I know that girls fall in and out with each other but these two have been pretty much joined at the hip for 6 years and they rarely squabble. This has changed since November..they got their 11+ results and realised that they would probably be going to the same school with other girls in their class. One of the other girls has since November been playing with dd and her friend. In January I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to go into hospital and start chemotherapy. I realise now that I have listened to dd but not really listened properly when she told me of the various problems with this other girl . Last week it all came to a head at school and dd told her teacher how bad things were. I had a conversation with the ht who was very nice and promised that they would be vigilant but dd has had problems with this girl every day this week and I have to go into hospital again next week and will be very worried about her when I am away. I don't feel that I can speak to this girls parents so think that my best bet is to write to the ht. I want her to do more than monitor the situation but what can I reasonably ask her to do? According to the schools policy on bullying it cannot be called bullying and treated as such unless every incident has been logged by teachers etc etc for some time (it doesn't specify how much time though). I don't think that this behaviour ( isolating her from her bf, threatening ,intimidating behaviour and stealing her property (her coat, lunch and books keep going missing and others have told her that this girl has 'removed'these items and hidden them) which has continued now since January is going to stop anytime soon unless something drastic happens. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful. Thank you, Katie x

[Chanatan]

I know you have a lot on your plate atm but can you get a meeting with the HT before you go into hospital,your dd shouldnt have to suffer like this and if its making her miserable then the school have to know how it is affecting her and state what they are going to do about it.I remember year 6 well,it was the worst year ever for dd at school,maybe down to the hormones in pre teen girls.
As far as the next school goes,in my experience your dd will make new friends,there will be big year groups and she might not have a lot to do with girls she went to primary with.
I hope your stay in hospital goes okay,let us know how things go.

[Mabelface]

It IS bullying. I agree about seeing if you can see the head before you go in. Find out exactly what she plans to do to protect your daughter. Your DD needs a lot of support from school given your illness and they really should be looking after her better than this. Their policy is wrong - even one incident can be classed as bullying. If you have no joy, then write to the governors. Hope your treatment goes well next week.

[DeWe]

It is bullying.

Personally I would request that the other girl is kept away from your dd and bf. The school may or may not be able to keep that totally. Maybe they could find a "job" that your dd and bf are asked to do at lunch (something that would make them feel special) over the time you're in hospital. With a teacher checking in on them that other girl hasn't come in.

And I would contact the secondary school and explain the situation and see if they'll oblige you by putting your dd1 and bf in the same class, but not the other girl. Make sure you explain that you may be in and out of hospital, which means your dd is under extra stress and needs the full support.

Hope your treatment goes well.

[Katie172]

Thank you for all your help and good wishes. It is a horrible situation for her and I have decided to go in and ask the ht for a meeting first thing tomorrow.

I will let you know how we get on..Thank you again xx

[Mabelface]

How did you get on with the headteacher?