Friends son bullying my DH(9 Posts)
Not sure what to do my DH came home today with huge scratch (chunk of skin missing) on his forehead teacher said boy was teasing my DH and he pushed him and other boy went mad hitting and scratching DH, not first incident involving my DH and other boy but teacher says they will work it out, not sure what to do, the mum is a friend but as she works full time and doesn't do school drops or pick ups don't think she's aware, my DH has really lost confidence over last few months. A mutual friend has said she's stopped her little one from playing with the boy as he's too aggressive, help not sure how to proceed
I think you mean DS. Unless your husband goes to school.
Sorry mean DS DS DS, keep putting DH by mistake not Freudian slip
You need to ask the teacher what she means when she says they will "work it out".
How old are they?
When did the teacher tell you? After school in a informal way or did she ring you?
My son is 5 (6 in 2 months) other boy is 6 they are in year one and both doing well at school otherwise, the other boy is an only child my little one has a twin sister so we've always encouraged him to turn the other cheek not to hit back as he is much bigger than his twin sister and she does wind him up on occasions.
Unhelpful in laws have told him to hit back if he's hit first, but I don't think that's helpful and luckily he hasn't taken the advice but he tends to cry when this boy hits or teases him which probably encourages the other boy. Need some advice to help him be more resilient as he's only boy in family and youngest (has lots of older girl cousins) so both him and his twin sister have not really faced much conflict prior to starting school. I am starting to think I should have toughened him up before starting school but as I don't work they have spent lots of time with me and been really happy. Sorry for long rambling text just wanted to outline facts
She told me after school, but was obvious as my son had massive plaster on his head! She has said boys in year one go through a bit of a "fighty" phase as they work out where they stand in pecking order, which sounds a bit scarey and "lord of the flies"
They probably will resolve it in time, but that's not what you want to hear right now from the teacher. DS1 had similar problems with a child in Y1. By Y6 they were good friends, but we had tough times early on, as the other child learned to control his behaviour and strength - he was a big chap - and that was with support from the teachers, who responded sensibly and firmly in enforcing clear boundaries for him to learn.
Log any incidents and since this sounds so serious, photos too would be good. Look on the school website for their behaviour policy so that you see what they say they will do in such cases. Be prepared to talk to the teacher again, to emphasise that this is not acceptable, and ask how she can help the children to deal with it - separately and/or together. Then, if things don't improve, go to the Head.
Incidentally, I enrolled my ds in karate classes as a response. They learn to do a lot of "blocks" - physically fending off aggressors. It encouraged him a lot to feel that he could duck and dodge and fend off trouble a little without having to become aggressive himself. (He also met a lot of friends and enjoyed it enormously.)
I hope the school helps you get this sorted. However, I'm intrigued why you felt the need to say the other child is an "only child"? My child doesn't have siblings but has lots of friends and is perfectly capable of "turning the other cheek". Lazy stereotypes help no-one.
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