Very tricky situation(5 Posts)
Hi, my daughter is 8 years old and has severe learning difficulties. She's been at her new school for 6 months, before this, she was home educated. She's settled in really well, the teacher said it was like she's always been in school. She very quickly made lots of friends, but has one best friend who also has learning difficulties. They are inseperable.
One little girl, who's known for her bullying behavior latched on to Lucy. She likes her a lot, but is very possesive with her and won't let her play with her best friend. She drags her about and is very bossy and domenearing with her. She's also pushed and shoves her when she won't do as she says. Lucy is't very steady on her feet and has a fear of falling. She recently told her that "everyone thinks you're fat". Lucy was extreamly upset by this and her self esteem has taken a nose dive. The other children have been asked before, to just leave Lucy and her best friend alone to play together, because neither of them can deal very well with someone else entering their little bubble.
The other day, Lucy refused to go to school, and it took us an hour to persuade her. The teacher spoke to the girl in question and told her to leave the two girls alone, and if she doesn't she'll have to spend her play time in doors. Lucy has been told to tell a teacher if she comes up to her.
It happened today, the girl drew a picture for Lucy of herself, Lucy and Lucy's friend. She read the words to her which said "We are best friends" This really freaked Lucy out and she refused to take it. Then the dinner lady heard and told Lucy off for being mean. Now Lucy feels she can't tell anyone if this girl is pestering her.
In a way, I feel a bit sorry for this girl too, as she obviously has difficulty making friends. Lucy was very loving towards her early on, so this made her grab her with both hands, as she'd found a very good friend, then when she started dragging her away and bossing her, Lucy realised she wasn't as nice as she'd thought and tried to get away from her but can't.
When I look at the pictures she's drawn for Lucy, it does make me feel a bit sad for her, as she feers she's loosing her only friend.
Lucy's still awake now after crying about this. She said she wants to be home educated again, if this girl won't leave the school. It's such a shame, as she loves school.
If anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice, please let me know.
1)Speak to the teacher.
Explain everything like you have on the thread. Lucy needs to feel calm, supported, and if this means keepiong other girl away from Lucy, or diverting the others girls attention, for a while, then school should be able to handle this easily.
2) I think it is very dangerous, and I am shocked to hear that other children have been told to leave Lucy and her friend, to play, in their little bubble.
This is not good. Even for a SN child. (Ds1 is AS). It is not good, for relationships , lucy needs to mix with all her peers. and what happens if Lucy falls out with said best frein?. She will have no other friends. I am VERY shocked to hear that the school is encouraging this.
I've spoken to her teacher again, and she said that the girl only went up to her to give her the drawing, then went. Lucy said she stayed the whole play time, and another little girl also said she did.
I just wish they could get on together, without this girl being so controling. She is going to get help in dealing with friendships, so hopefully she'll learn. I hate the thought of any child being left on their own, even if they do bring it on themselves. I don't believe she's a nasty child, just a confused one.
Lucy's one to one lady is usually brilliant at sorting out these problems but she's off sick. They are getting a replacement for monday, so hopfully that'll help.
The teacher has said that Lucy and her friend are having circle time or something to learn about friendships and letting people in to their little bubble, so she is working on it. At the moment it just causes a lot of tears at play times.
Lucy never wants to leave anyone out and would happily play with other children, but both her best friend and the other girl are very controlling and want her all to them selves. Lucy can't yet stand up for herself as she doesn't want to hurt their feelings, so she'll just let them drag her around.
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