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dd1 being bullied by lads in her year, seems to be escalating

(7 Posts)
hooper02 Sat 09-Mar-13 00:14:15

dd1 has been picked on by lads in her year for most of last 2 years, teachers are aware, having been trying to deal with problem, exclusions, the lads concerned not being allowed out at break, their parents are aware etc. One incident in last weeks I was walking with her when one of the lads saw her and started making vomiting noises, reported it to school, don't know what happened
but he has since being avoiding her. However the ringleader seems to be getting worse, most it uptill now with him has being verbal, I told just to walk away shaking her head saying"whatever" or similar in the hope he would get bored but as he is no longer getting arise out of her with this he seems to be upping the ante. Yesterday it was tearing up pictures, saying things about myself and dh then throwing balls at her at playtime, she tried to ignore him but did snap and was about to go for him, when thankfully a teacher who had realised what was happening intervened and he marched inside. Roll onto today, heading to assembly he+dd1 were last ones in classroom, he pushed her over and then kicked her as she tried to get up, teacher heard her shout, ran into classroom and seeing her on floor in tears marched lad to ht office. He is now suspended on monday(for one day) and has been stripped of monitor status. Am going to talk to teachers on Monday about what to do as it seems to be escalating. Has anyone else been in this position and how did they handle it. dd1 is 10 and in year 6. I know a note has been made in her record that when she goes up to local 2ndary school that none of these lads sholud be in her class and i will be watching that closely

Sailormercury Sat 09-Mar-13 07:30:43

How horrible sad are you meeting with the HT as well?

barnet Sat 09-Mar-13 07:56:18

Help your daughter to write a list of all incidences with rough dates , and locations. Ask ffor a meeting with you, your daughter, the ringleader and his parents, some of the relevant teachers, (and possibly a neutral student for some peer pressure if he has no respect for the rest of you), where the list is gone through and it is discussed how to change the situation.
Even if he refuses to discuss, it can be helpful for future behaviour if a bully knows that his actions are known by a wider group of people.

EmilyAda Wed 13-Mar-13 11:55:28

I agree with barnet
get as many fact & figures as you can & take a friend or relative with you for support as school speak can sometimes make you forget what you wanted
to say

Any chance there is another senior school your DD can go to? Although I have found that once the bullies get into a bigger "pond" the older kids - year
10/ 11
can have quite an effect on them & find out about the exclusion in seniors
usually much tougher than primary

Kenlee Mon 18-Mar-13 09:49:03

Im so sorry to hear that about your daughter. I think avoidance never works. Usually a bully is of two sorts stupid and weak. Hence the over compensation.

This happened to my daughter. She challenged him mentally asking him pertinant questions that make him look dumb. I also think a straight punch using the base of the palm directed at the nose usually helps.

The suggestions is horrific to most parents. I have lived through my child being bullied. I know that if it is not nipped in the bud the violence will escalate. Did Hitler stop at Poland?v

porridgewithblueberries Sat 23-Mar-13 19:11:58

Kenlee, if there are a considerable number of the bullies and if they are boys and year 6 chances are they will be physically bigger than her.

Poor little girl sad

OP, it's rare I suggest this but I do not feel the school's response is adequate here and I think you need to bring in the 'heavy guns.' That boy should have been out for more than a day - that is physical assualt. I would ask to meet with the headteacher and calmly but firmly state your concerns. Your DD has a right to be safe and happy in school and if she is not they are not doing their job - I know it's not always that straightforward but this story has disgusted me. Kicking and throwing balls at a ten year old, WTF?

cocolepew Sat 23-Mar-13 19:17:50

He assaulted her I would phone,the police for advice.

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