help please(4 Posts)
Hi all I'm new to this site but need some advice. My daughter aged 4 keeps coming home from school saying that nobody plays with her even though she asks the whole class they all just say no or don't talk to her :-( I've been worrying about her all day, I tried telling her that maybe she needs to ask then if she can join there game as maybe they don't want to do her games. But she said she already tried that :-( any advice will be greatly received
I think a lot of children say that at the age of your dd. My dd did, when she was simply adjusting to life at school.
Ask to have a chat with her teacher, and find out what she thinks. Get her to keep an eye out and report back to you.
By the way, I'm a little perplexed you have put this under the 'bullying' topic. Why?
I would ask the teacher if there is an issue. FWIW, I think it's pretty standard that at some stage virtually all little kids will loudly tell their parents that absolutely NO-ONE likes them and NO-ONE played with them AT ALL. And yet when the parents talk to the teacher they find it is complete nonsense and little Jonny has loads of friends and plays with them brilliantly the vast majority of the time. Your dd may be one of the kids who genuinely doesn't play with anyone but I would definitely find out the reality first before you get worried.
Often when a child say 'nobody plays with me' - it isn't always the case. I was a dinner lady and one of my friends asked me why nobody played with her daughter as she was sad and going home saying nobody would play with her. This was surprising to me because her daughter was actually quite popular - but often it was that she couldn't find anybody who she wanted to play with - as opposed to nobody wanting her. She didn't like certain games ect . . Here are some tips to try:
Ask the teacher who she seems to like and seem if you can locate the parent and ask them on play dates. This is so helpful in nurturing friendships.
Talk to her about other aspects of school life (PE, playtime, lessons, eating lunch) and see what comes up - she might start talking about some more positive aspects that will reassure you that she is making friends
Join some local clubs - a great way of meeting kids of the same age that can be great when she is alone in the playground she might see somebody she knows from girls brigade or rainbows.
It is unusual that the lunchtime staff would let a child wander around friendless - usually there are systems in place to avoid this (such as friendship benches) so it could be helpful to ask her teacher what strategies the school has in place.
Just as a side note - it is so common that the first year of school is like this - it is a big change from nursery and will take an adjustment - so hang in there I am sure it will improve. x
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