Teachers viewpoint please

[Labro]

I'd appreciate a viewpoint from the teachers.

Ds has been verbally bullied for some time by 1 boy who also manages to get others to do things to ds bu promising them things such as lego if they shut ds hand in a door, rrip him up etc. This has all been witnessed by other children and now by teachers.
Why then do i receive a message from the deputy head that they feel my ds would benefit from speaking to a teacher twice a week to receive support as far as dealing with relationships and interactions are concerned and for ds to talk about how to interpret and deal with these interactions?????
The bully has had no punishment imposed, just another empty threat of being sent to the head.
Why are they making out that there is sometthing 'wrong' with how my ds interprets these things rather than dealing with it properly?

[needacoffee]

I'm a teacher and that sounds awful. Meet with the headteacher asap. Be sure to listen to her side of the story too. Then go away, consider what she has said and decide how you would like to proceed. If the outcome is not satisfactory to you then please go down other avenues. Write a letter to the headteacher explaining what you intend to do next. Write to the Governors and write to the council. There are lots of options available to you so don't let them stonewall you. However (this is going to sound harsh) do not go in all guns a blazing yet. Keep calm in the meeting so you can remember what is being said and write things down in case you are too nervous/angry to rememeber them later. Take time to consider your next move, maybe a couple of days and seek advice from others. Then progress from there. I know you feel like causing merry hell at the moment, I would too but that will just shut down any communication between you and the school. I really hope this is sorted and best of luck, I feel really sorry for you and DS having to go through this. P.s Teacher off duty, ignore bad grammar and spelling!

[Labro]

Thanks,

I've referred it to the head and am waiting for him to get back to me as have already gone through the channels of form tutor, head of year and deputy head. Its an independent school. I'm not an all guns blazing type of person thankfully, not sure with independents where I would write to if needed after the headmaster, would it be the governors? The other child is a systematic bully, literally going through the whole year group one by one, so its definitely something they need to sort out quickly.

[needacoffee]

You poor thing. I'm not sure about independent schools. Have a look at www.isi.net/parents/ Its the independent school inspectorate and you can make a formal complaint to them. Good luck, I hope you get some sort of resolution and your son can go to school in peace without this happening.

[colander]

I haven't posted on here for years (been busy, back to work etc) but came on here for some advice because DD1 is having a tough time with girls and it seems that she is being blamed for her reaction to their bullying. She is also at an independent school. She does have Asperger's so can't read social situations well but is in tears. I have a meeting this week to discuss and (although I wouldn't wish this on anyone) it is comforting to hear she isn't the only one going through it.

[Labro]

Well, apparently the strongly worded email to the head has worked and there has been a strong message given out that this sort of thing is not a game. Colander, the aspergers doesn't mean that your child should be fair game to all bullies! The school took her knowing her extra needs and need to sort things accordingly. My one concern at the moment is that since Friday my ds has been put in close proximity to the bully 3 times, but perhaps thats the a school seeing how the bully behaves now hes been told off.