Question about trading card bullying?

[marykat2004]

Hi, I'm really not sure where to post this, or what is the correct procedure.

Last week DD, age 7 and in year 2, took some Doctor Who cards to school. She traded some with other children. Later on she got very upset because she had traded her 'rare autograph' card with a year 3 boy, who basically just 'took' it off her, even though she did not want to trade that card.

Now, I have told her no more taking cards to school. But she was so upset she couldn't get to sleep Friday night, and she thinks I am going help her get the card back.

When DD comes up to me at a playground, for example, I tend to let her sort things out herself. This is an example, like if she says "mummy that girl is being mean." I think children should to some extent sort things out for themselves, how else will they learn? They can't have their mum coming up and saying "being nice to my child" every time there is a dispute on a playground. Or am I wrong?

I don't know what to do about this trading card because DD is so upset, but I don't think I can just find the little boy, and say that DD didn't want to trade it.

Advice?

Thank you

[MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll]

I think this is a really tough lesson but one that you may have to let her learn without intervention.

She may have been pressured but not recognised that as trading is a funny business...she will now know that there is "real" deal where both kids are happy...and one like this...where pressure is exerted. Does she know the name of the boy? If so, you COULD speak to school but it's his word against hers....he may say she simply changed her mind after the deal.

I think you should talk to her about the difference between a fair swap and one that is not fair....let her know that in future, if anyone tries to take her things she must tell a teacher right away.

Maybe you could help her find another card? Online probably....it's cruel but I remember something similar happening to me and taking it hard when I was a kid.