DD being bullied in reception

[smudge74]

DD started reception this year. She has been suffering tummy aches and slight unwillingness to go in to school for a few weeks now. Last night she opened up to me about a girl in her class who has been bothering her in quite a covert way. Apparently she hurts DD (mostly pinching) and then laughs about it, snatches toys from her, pulls DD away from what she is playing with. DD has told teacher who says to walk away and ignore but apparently this girl wont let up and continues to follow her around. It feels like DD is being targeted as it this girl doesnt do the same to anyone else in the class.

Have tried to talk to teacher who seems very busy. We will snatch 5 mins this afternoon before she has meetings and then maybe tomorrow morning too (Id prefer more private time perhaps not infront of my daughter).
This seems so long away! I really want to be able to give my DD advice on how to deal with this ASAP.
Has anyone good advice or similar experiences?
DD has lots of friends in the class and has frequent playdates, she knows them well as 50% of the class were in her nursery at the same school.

Thanks in advance fellow mumsnetters!

[mistlethrush]

There's a girl just like this in ds's class - he's now yr2. Its got so bad that probably 50% of the class have had parents going to the teacher indicating that there are problems with this child. She's sly and does things that she doesn't get told off for but get other children into trouble - that and the pinching (leaving bruises).

When faced with this sort of behaviour (or other behaviour that needed to be dealt with firmly) I have taught Ds to say, loudly 'No, x, don't do that, you've hurt me' or 'No, x, stop pinching me, I can't listen to the teacher'. You need to get them to actually rehearse this, ideally pushing their hands out in front of them to stop the other child coming near them - and they need to practise it so that it runs of the tongue easily, firmly and loudly.

I hope you get it sorted.

[rhetorician]

my dd is younger, but has had this kind of issue at nursery - again, it's one boy in particular, the staff all know about it, and it's difficult because I don't feel it's their job to make him behave properly (although they do put him in time-out etc) - so the only thing I can really do is along the lines of what mistlethrush advises - which (i) empowers the bullied child and (ii) ensures that the bullying is always being brought into the open.

My dd is 2.9 and small for her age, but she has learned how to use words to stand her ground.

Good luck, getting the teacher onside is half the battle (she probably dreads having to deal with this child)

[smudge74]

Thank you!
Have heard of a good book called bullies, bigmouths and so-called friends by J. Alexander but its for 9-12year olds. Anyone know of good books aimed at the younger ones?