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Year 7 bullying. What can they do to stop it?

(8 Posts)
Lorenz Fri 10-Jun-11 14:37:25

Posted this in secondary education too as I didn't realise there was a bullying forum.

I have recently learnt that DS has been bullied for the past couple of months. Mainly name-calling, arm punching, pushing him over etc. he's in year 7.

The bastards went one step further last week however when they pinned him down and drew all over his face in permanant marker before a year 10 kid tried to stub a cigerette out on his head.

The cig kid was sent home, parents called in, excluded for a few days and on last warning. The other kids (year 7s) were put into isolation.

Yesterday the kid with the marker pushed DS over and called him a "grass". DS reported him again and this time his parents are being called in.

The thing is there are 10 of them and it's constant. Name-calling, threatening, pushing, piss-taking - yesterday he came home with a swollen bruised hand. He told me he hit it on a wall however I learnt from his facebook page that someone had pushed him over and stamped on his hand.

I was on the phone with the school this morning to find out what they intend to do about it and from what I can make out it's basically an endless circle of "exclusion, parents in, isolation, exclusion, parents in, isolation, exclusion etc etc - these kids don't care about this stuff!! exclusion is nothing more than a few days off school!! isolation is easy work and parents being called in is nothing when the parents don't really give a shit either!

The school told me any bullying outside of school (for instance waiting for him after school) should be dealt with by calling the police but what next?? windows through? they can easily find out where we live.

Am I blowing this all out of proportion? realistically, is this bullying likely to get stopped??

bellavita Fri 10-Jun-11 14:43:40

I can imagine how distressing this is for you and your son, but if it is outside of school, school can only do so much. Calling the police is the correct route.

If the school are excluding, calling parents in etc, it seems they are doing all they can.

I really feel for you.

Hunterswish Fri 10-Jun-11 15:02:37

Oh my God?? What are you meant to do? How awful for your DS sad
A long stretch I know but have you tried the School Governors? If there are 10 of them then there is a good chance your son is not the only victim?

In this day and age kids really do not care, there are no consequences for their actions and therefore some can run a mock... What a horrible introduction to secondary school for your DS though?
If there are no changes and no other parent comes forward with more children experiencing bullying from this gang, you MIGHT and only MIGHT have to remove your child from the school all together? If after all the school wont remove the bullies why should your son suffer? Try Education Social services? After all, if your son refused to go to school because of the bullying they would be quick enough to come down on you !!
Keep praising your son for confiding in you and reassure him that you are trying to resolve this matter as urgently as possible. Yet he nor you can go on this way.
I wish you all the very best of luck and I hope that a solution is found.
Take care

Labtech28 Mon 04-Jul-11 21:15:15

Bear in mind that although the bullying is happening in school; this doesn't stop you informing the police about incidents happening in school. In fact if the school is failing to do this then it would be a reasonable avenue of action. A crime is a crime regardless of where it happens. This could be the break in the cycle of exclusions, that would stop it dead. I would inform the school and they should support you however you don't have to inform them at all.

sambam99 Sun 10-Jul-11 22:18:03

HAve you tried to get the police to deal with the incidents in school???? I really don't understand how children can be assaulted in school grounds and there's apparently no recourse to legal retribution. SUrley there must be. There should be a police officer assigned to your school. Have a word with them.

overthemill Mon 11-Jul-11 20:09:53

i've been posting about bullying of my dd too on sec ed pages.

i would go straight to head/deputy. its what i did and something has been done though not enough, ime.

we are going to move dd. i simply wont stand by an dlet school do bugger all.

but if ds is in danger, and it sounds like he may be, then take him out and tell them why. they have a duty of care, tell head, tell chairman of govenors and tell LEA

good luck, this stuff is poisonous isnt it?

mightymouth Tue 19-Jul-11 16:53:17

I am really sorry to hear about DS being bullied but I don't think the school's steps are likely to improve things. Nor will simply moving him necessarily as he will be a stranger in a new class. Here are some ideas - keep a diary of what has happened and when you reported it to school. Add all dates - how long has it gone on? Photograph any injuries, damaged stuff etc. Doctor's notes.
Write a formal letter to the head copying it to class teacher and head of year plus governors. Set out the number of repeated incidents from approx 10 classmates. Ask for the school's Anti Bullying Policy and ask for a meeting. If the school is within a local authority ask for their anti-bullying lead or whover leads on bullying prevention. If an academy write to group running it. Insist the school adopts better practice - exclusion and retaliation not proven helpful. Whole year group work, peer support put in place around DS, alternative clubs at lunch time he could join to be in safe situation, work on difference and equality, and approaches that research recommends. Say you want them to get back to you by a specific date with their response. They have a legal duty to keep DS safe. Bullying Intervention Group offers support to schools and trains them in how to deliver.

mightymouth Tue 19-Jul-11 17:05:36

There is a legal duty to keep pupils safe and lots of schools have safer schools police linked to them. Call your Community Safety Team if you think a crime has been committed. It is however a big step to lay a charge. It does little to improve your kid's social life. I have worked on bullying in many schools and I would like to suggest that you want that more than 'justice'. The steps should be: 1. They must make your child safe, 2 they need to rebuild your child's confidence and get them into a positive group of pupils while dealing with changing the behaviour of the bullying kid/s. They have to work with the whole year group - why is this behaviour OK for anyone? Why are they not stopping it?

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