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Is this some kind of bullying?

(5 Posts)
mumiyumi Sat 15-Jan-11 09:03:45

Not sure if i should be more worried? My ds started reception in sept last year he's in a class with a little boy we always classed as his friend but i'm not happy by the other boys behaviour. He's always been a confident boy as my ds isn't My ds seems to 'need' this boy as security when something new happens at school (he's got to go in by himself nxt wk). At parties my ds will save this boy a seat but he looks around and finds somewhere else to sit, at school recently he's been saying i'm not your friend then minutes later saying i'm your best friend, my ds doesn't know if he's coming or going and telling me he's being pushed by the other boy.....What shall i do i've spoken to the teacher and she say's she's talking to them about it as a whole class (a few are going through the same apparently) Do I speak to the other mum about it? would you say it's a form of bullying or am i over reacting? confused

ragged Sat 15-Jan-11 09:12:28

It's a childish mindgame, but not right to call it bullying (imho).

I presume that you've tried hard to help him build friendships with other children, invite them around for playdates & tea, take him to places where he'll encounter other suitable classmate friends (playgrounds, soft play), etc.?

DD had this from another little girl in Reception-Year 1; was the school who insisted on moving her to the "other" class for the year group for year 2, although DD was horrified at the time, was the best thing ever for DD to leave all her old "friends" behind.

She's now (yr4) on good terms with the child who used to play the "I'm not your friend" game. Friendly but not emotionally dependent on her any more.

onimolap Sat 15-Jan-11 09:19:47

I'd wait and see what the teacher does, and whether the behaviour changes. Reception children are still very young, and are learning about how to behave, and according to the teacher its an issue for several in the group. She should help them through together.

Stay in touch with the teacher for updates etc. And also to find out ways in which you can help your child become less needy. Are there other friendships you could encourage, in addition to the one you mentioned in OP?

grumpypants Sat 15-Jan-11 09:23:37

sounds completely normal for that age group. maybe the other one feels a bit pressured by your ds' neediness and is reacting in the only way he knows? i would not apportion blame but just keep on with the encouragement to make additional friends.

mumiyumi Sat 15-Jan-11 11:58:41

there are other children within the year that he likes and have had round after school but then the other boy tells him their his friends!, it's hard as he seemed to be finding his own way and it's just started up again.
I find it hard to be objective when it's my ds who's being pushed away.
I'll keep on with encouraging the playing with others and keep fingers crossed.

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