because I am making a real mess of it. We moved schools once and now it is happening again - do you think some kids/parents give off signals that show they aren't every confident?
The new school has been very nice - we moved because of my DD1 being bullied, she was shy and unassuming - but now DD1 is ok in new school - its DD2 who is now the target and she was previously very confident.
So can it just happen to anyone, is this just a coincidence, or is the real problem that I don't handle it very well and am not teaching them the right skills?
I've noticed that when their kids complain e.g., so and so pushed me or called me a name some of my friends have a way of just saying oh well never mind and it seems to work, whereas to me if I did that to my children (all the time) I'd feel I was trivialising their feelings.
I think it's a fine balance...intervening is necassary if a child is being repeatedly hurt or excluded...but if it is now and then then it's better to teach them to not care if so and so doesn't like their shoes...or X says they can't go to their party and so on.
Bullying is targeting...i your DD2 getting targeted daily? Or regularly?
Wow - I suffered bullying at both Primary and Secondary schools. However, my parents never had emotional support being brought up in a very old school sense, so they were unable to handle/deal/felt helpess in understanding what bullying was like for me; I used to get blamed for things like 'Why did you let him hit you? etc'. There was never any sort of emotional support or understanding but that wasn't the fault of my parents, because they didn't know any better.
I feel blame of any sort is futile for any parents upon themselves, and not to get a feeling of too much guilt. We all have conditioning to some degree depending on how we are brought up. Its a learning process.
But providing support to one's children when they need it, and giving praise as well as teaching them right from wrong, no-one is perfect as long as the integrity is right.
Its not easy being a parent for sure. But as long as one isn't putting too much blame on themselves, and just offering emotional support and teaching their child strong moral values then that's my feeling on how best to deal with such issues.