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Please help - ds refusing thebreast again

(22 Posts)
berolina Mon 04-Jul-05 17:12:11

Today's been a really bad day all round. We lost two rolls of film with lovely photos of ds as it emerged our camera is broken . When I heard about that I was really upset and cried. dh and I then had a row. During all of this I was feeding ds as normal. Afterwards, though, this afternoon, when things had actually calmed down, he started refusing the breast, screaming and getting worked up again. He's taken the breast a few times for brief periods but about 3 times when I've tried to put him on he's just screamed and screamed. I'm so upset. I can't bear the thought of giving bottles again after all my hard work to get bf started. What can I do? Is it my fault for bf him and being around him when I was so upset? Might this just be a very temporary thing, or am I going to have to do all this hard work again? It can't be anything to do with a bottle because he hasn't had one for at least 2 1/2 weeks. Is it just because my being unhappy has made him unhappy, and how long do I need to give him to calm down?
ANY help appreciated. The thought of having to go back onto bottles again and do all that work all over again makes me feel sick

tiktok Mon 04-Jul-05 17:42:40

berolina, really sorry to hear about your lost pics. I have no idea if your little one has reacted to the stress in the house - it is possible, I suppose. However, it is not worth worrying and wondering about. He could be screaming because he doesn't feel like breastfeeding at that moment. It is a temporary thing. It is not your fault.

It will help not to micro-analyse every reaction or behaviour your little boy has, trying to figure our why he is/is not doing something and trying to blame yourself. Sometimes babies are a mystery, but whatever this particular mystery is, it will pass

Try to calm down yourself and relax....and have a nice evening

LIZS Mon 04-Jul-05 17:44:10

Please don't stress about it - it is very unlikely to have anything to do with what else has happened today. They all have the odd off morning, afternoon or even day - can be anything from feeling a bit below par to being overtired, overstimulated, bored etc. If he won't calm try taking him for a walk around the block or put him in a sling while you get on with everyday things. They all have fussy fretful times, especially as they become more alert, and you just need to find the best way of dealing with it, by trial and error usually. No need to fetch out the bottles just yet I feel ! Chin up, tomorrow may well be very differewnt.

berolina Mon 04-Jul-05 17:48:15

Thanks. We're off for a drive now to see if the change of scene helps him - and us.
Will report back...

berolina Mon 04-Jul-05 22:57:14

[why does mn have everything but a tired emoticon?]
well, this was the one time the car didn't soothe the poor little lamb. We stopped eventually and - he had a little drink - and after that was happier. We dropped in to see some friends and I bf some more; same this evening, he's rather taking it in short bursts today though (hits self over head with big stick, repeating 'I must not panic, I must not panic').
Spoke to the paediatrician this morning who had given us some treatment for thrust nearly 2 weeks ago at ds's check because of his white tongue. Explained to him that the white was still there despite treatment (nystatin), at which he suggested to discontinue because it might be something else (something to do with the taste buds?!?). However, maybe ds's feeding-in-short-bursts thing is to do with the soreness of thrush? (I know tiktok, no over-analysing, but if he does have thrush I really need to know, if only for my own sanity... ) I haven'talways been able to give him it the recommended 4 times a day, cos it needs to be taken 'after feeds', which is pretty impossible with non-stop feeding...

berolina Mon 04-Jul-05 22:59:23

BTW - in a week or so's time we're off to stay with relatives and friends for about 7 weeks - so you'll have a break from my anxious questions then and by the time I get back I hope I'll be an old pro

tiktok Mon 04-Jul-05 23:38:57

White tongue is normal, berolina...it can only be thrush if it's a coating, often sort of irregular round the edges. Some babies have a pale tongue. In any case, thrush is often painless - I have seen occasional babies with really thrushy tongues and they have not had any distress on feeding.

It is also normal to feed in short bursts. It is normal to feed in short bursts on one day and then do something different the next day.

Sometimes, there is no obvious reason for babies to behave as they do. They are not robots - they are humans and behave irregularly

moondog Mon 04-Jul-05 23:44:21

berolina, I do agree with tiktok about the over analysis but I did find there were times when my babies wouldn't feed and I was sure it was to do with stress or tension (within me and/or the household).

In these instances, I would go and lie with them quietly in a darkened room until they calmed down and then tried again. Usually worked.

(Rather annoyingly these breast refusing incidents often seemed to coincide with me having a bit of a laugh and sharing a glass or two of wine with friends and family. Grrrrrr. Kids have an in built secret power that allows them to sense when they are not receiving 110% of your attention.)

mears Mon 04-Jul-05 23:50:44

Berolina - sounds as though you have had a shitty day and are emotionally wrecked. Babes can pick up on angst. He maybe is in a bad mood too. Babies have days where they are upset and unco-operatibe too. He does not need a bottle. You did the right thind by some distraction therapy in the car. Popping him in the pram and pushing him back and forwards in q quick and firm motion will help him settle to. You are just experiencing a normal 'down' day. You will have a good few more before he is grown up believe me

berolina Wed 06-Jul-05 19:27:50

ds seems back to normal today (& feeding as i type).
the tongue is white all over apart from right at front, the little red spots show through. the white stuff comes off a bit.
we are phasing out the nystatin. am reluctant to give nothing though in case it is thrush. but surely, surely i'd have caught it if it was??? makes no sense that he had white tongue days and days before starting treatment and my nipples are fine. anyway, i'm on the actimel just in case

tiktok Wed 06-Jul-05 20:31:03

I don't think he has thrush, berolina (though babies can get it without passing it on, I believe). Glad he is back to what he was. There will be other dys in the future when everything seems chaotic, though

berolina Thu 07-Jul-05 04:13:08

didn't want to start a new thread, but I have to (literally) sound off...
OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woke up to full boobs and hungry ds. dh leaned over me to ds and decided to lean on me while doing so, pushing his elbow into my breast! Grrrrrrrr.
Apart from the fact that it bl**dy hurt (and underside of breast went an attractive shade of red), can it have 'damaged' anything? i put ds straight on that breast and the feeding didn't hurt, plus breast seemed to get emptied properly - but still have visions of squashed milk ducts, later mastitis... LOL (admittedly while wincing) or real possibility?

LIZS Thu 07-Jul-05 07:46:35

Ouch on your behalf. I doubt it could have done any damage but you may feel a bit bruised. I still have a mark from breastfeeding dd, think she pinched ! Glad ds is feeding better and keep the milk flowing through the ducts to avoid blockages. If you feel anything building up , put a warm flannel on it before feeding and use thumb or comb to gently ease the milk down.

throckenholt Thu 07-Jul-05 08:25:12

Oww !

I would massage that area for a few days before and after feeds - just to try and make sure that the bruising does not lead to blocked ducts - the last you need now is a bout of mastitis !

moondog Thu 07-Jul-05 09:28:18

Oh berolina! Know from experience that this is sooooopainful.
Bloody oaf!
Hope he's feeling contrite.

tiktok Thu 07-Jul-05 09:41:09

I don't think it is necessary to massage - bit of a hassle! The area will get back to normal. Just keep an eye on it. A full breast is very tender and subject to bruising, but like any other part of the body that gets bruised, it heals itself.

throckenholt Thu 07-Jul-05 09:42:55

there speaks the expert

tiktok Thu 07-Jul-05 10:13:54

berolina Thu 07-Jul-05 15:23:24

Was at the gyn this morning for my after birth check and he examined my breasts and didn't notice anything (in fact there was a tiny hardness in the other one, got rid of now), so presume all is fine.
Coming home heard the horrible horrible news on the radio.
Don't know where you all are, but are you all OK?

berolina Fri 08-Jul-05 19:11:26

seems you are - good.
could the 'dh elbow incident' damage supply? ds is pretty hungry atm...

LIZS Fri 08-Jul-05 19:18:19

isn't he 6 weeks ish - traditional growth spurt time ! He is probably just helping your body increase its supply to fulfil his appetite by demanding more .

berolina Fri 08-Jul-05 19:26:15

7w 2d liz.

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