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did I do the wrong thing?

(37 Posts)
berolina Fri 01-Jul-05 07:35:17

hello, me again...
ds tends to feed pretty constantly in the afternoons and early evenings, but go for longer at night (sometimes as long as 6 1/2 hours between the start of one feeding and the start of the next ). Yesterday I had him pretty constantly on the breast a fair bit of the day, all evening and well into the night. He would stop, pull away, fall asleep etc., and ten mins later would start up again. By half past one I was absolutely shattered and gave him to dh to have a lie down - I thought of snatching half an hour's sleep. I asked dh to wake me again if he continued to be hungry. I woke up at 4 and he was asleep in dh's arms (I know, isn't dh brilliant getting up as well ) and dh sad he'd fallen asleep relatively quickly. He next woke me at 20 past 6, fed a bit and was then very sleepy, had to be woken and 'persuaded'. Is now asleep again (bliss). My question: did I do the wrong thing giving him to dh for a break, even though he would have stayed on the breast if I'd 'let' him? He really had been feeding loads and I was just so knackered, but I feel really guilty. And will it affect milk supply? (Break in feeding from about 1.30 to about 6.20).

berolina Fri 01-Jul-05 07:36:27

ps: ds is 6 weeks. Having not established full bf until 4 weeks, I'm still a bit paranoid about my milk supply.

berolina Fri 01-Jul-05 07:36:53

pps. I'm one hour ahead of UK time!

lunachic Fri 01-Jul-05 08:15:22

hell berolina glad to see you and ds are well
dont think you dd the wrong thing at all-youre human and you needed a break thats totally fine and understandable ! your milk supply will be fine -dont worry and dontfeel guilty as you are doing brilliantly

lunachic Fri 01-Jul-05 08:27:10

whoops sorry meant HELLO and not hell !
my typing is terrible in the mrning

lunachic Fri 01-Jul-05 08:29:46

just thought milk usually increases during sleep so you did he right thing by havin a sleep !
if you need to sleep you ned to sleep theres no point in getting frazzeled through lack of sleep

PandaBear Fri 01-Jul-05 08:44:31

No you didn't!!! Sometimes with a newborn when you're breast feeding, you just have to have a break... otherwise youll go mad, not to mention be absolutely shattered. I'm a true believer in a happy mummy makes a happy baby!!!

starlover Fri 01-Jul-05 09:08:37

no... you'll be fine berolina!
your milk supply won't suffer from that AT ALL!
you did the right thing, as pandabear said... it's important for you to have a break and a rest sometimes

your ds obviously LOVES being close to you and likes the comfort of b/f... if he was really hungry he;d have let you know. the fact that he fell asleep quickly just shows that he was full and content!

koalabear Fri 01-Jul-05 09:12:24

i had breaks of up to 48 hours at a time (if i had flu etc) - you'll be fine ! and don't worry, the feeding will settle down into a routine before too long

tiktok Fri 01-Jul-05 10:08:15

Milk supply isn't so 'knife edge' that a gap like this will affect it, have a good milk supply, anyway.

Babies love being close to another person who loves them, and it's great his daddy can comfort him like this.

tiktok Fri 01-Jul-05 10:09:36

lunachick - the body makes milk just as easily when awake as when asleep! Think you are maybe thinking of the hormone prolactin which is higher at night in the very early days of bf, whether or not the mum is asleep. Nobody needs to sleep to make enough milk, fortunately

lunachic Fri 01-Jul-05 10:35:01

yes tik tok that is what i meant !

berolina Fri 01-Jul-05 11:31:35

Thank you.
Thank goodness for MN - and dh

aloha Fri 01-Jul-05 11:49:45

And it is proof that he isn't always hungry just because he is feeding/sucking! Do you mean you slept between 1.30 and 6.20 *at night*? That's great! Don't knock it if it happens.

berolina Sat 02-Jul-05 19:33:53

have the opposite 'problem' today! ds is very sleepy and feeding much less - am a bit worried it's too little, although my perspective of what's normal has probably been skewed by the constant feeding of the last week! I've done 7 feeds since 3am (it now being 8.30pm over here), some of them consisting of several short sessions counted together, so it must be OK I suppose, though sometimes I really have to make him...

mears Sat 02-Jul-05 20:07:26

As he gets older he will be getting more efficent at feeding. He will have boosted your supply with his frequent feeds and now he is happy getting the benefit of larger amounts probably. Let him dictate the pace unless your boobs are busting'. Then waken him, you arer a partnership. I think he has demonstrated to you that he knows what to do to get enough milk .

Mojomummy Sat 02-Jul-05 20:19:41

Hi, I might be being a bit controversial here...have you thought about starting to schedule feeding ?

Before the idea sounds horrific, 2 years ago I was in a similar position. I read Gina Ford's book ( great for routines) & thought I'd follow her exactly.
When I had DD I was bombareded with feeding on demand & so spent 4 1/2 months having DD attached to me -(at 4 1/2 months a HV encouraged me to feed every 4 hours & that started a big change for me. From 5 3/4 months I started to wean,followed Gina Fords weaning rountine & we've never looked back )...everytime we went out I'd have to stop for feeds, if I was in I'd be feeding her for about 5 mins every 10 mins or so. I really wished for both our sakes I'd got on some routine. I managed with scheduling her sleeps ( with help from my friend Gina )& a Nuk dummy. But just couldn't stop the continuous feeding - DD, after regaining her birth weight by the end of her first week, spent the next 6 months hovering around the 9th & 25th centile, with a few ounce weight gain each week. Also the frequent feeding meant she was only getting the fore milk which is the watery thirst quencing milk rather than the put-on-weight fatty hindmilk.

Anyway, I read your previous threads ref getting the breast feeding started & would hate for you to be so exhausted & experience what I did. (In fact I've only just stopped bf her - so I really am very pro bf)

As other mums have said I'm sure you're milk supply is established now & if you don't feel like the scheduled feeding, perhaps you could try getting DS to have regular naps - this would enable you to have a well earned break too. Somthing that helped me with this was offering a dummy - DS had a NUK dummy & just had it for daytime naps. Babies really find sucking soothing & that might just be enough to get him to have an independant nap.

berolina Sun 03-Jul-05 04:04:42

thank you
ds does have a dummy, but sucks so vigorously on it that it flies out within seconds... When he does sleep, he also doesn't seem to need it. Sometimes dh gets him to sleep (or keeps him quiet while I grab half an hour's doze) by letting him suck on his finger.
Managed to successfully bf him to sleep tonight - he didn't wake me up for a couple of hours.
Mojomummy, a routine is a mid-term goal for me at the moment - I do want/need one at some point (in mid-Oct I will be back at uni teaching - I live very close to uni, only teach 3 and a bit days and have breaks in between, so I will be there for a lot of feeds, but there will be EBM feeds given by dh), but want to give it a good month of full bf before I think about it, partly because of the whole trauma of getting it started. I have been thinking about the nap thing myself - feel some less erratic sleeping would be good for him generally. He's generally OK at night - has started going 4-5 hours. That, and the fact that dh is at home with me, is making the whole endless feeding thing manageable. The main thing I've been worrying about at the moment has been milk supply.
Weight gain is more or less on target, said the dr last week, and was about 100g this week.

Mojomummy Sun 03-Jul-05 11:22:55

Hi Berolina,

Yes getting the naps started does sound hard, but it's not so bad & the pros definetely outweigh the cons ! ( I love to sleep!)

Also what sort of dunny are you using ? the Nuk one makes them use the same sucking action they use on the breast - according to my hv anyway

Ref the naps, I decided if my friend could get her daughter for a nap, then I could. I made sure DD had just had a feed & put her down approx. 2 hours after she'd been awake, which was about 9am, she moaned & cried & droned on for about 40 mins, but I was SO desperate for a break & just kept with it. She ended sleeping for a good hour. The next day was half as bad & the third was almost easy !

Certainly I have found that regular naps = a happy baby = a happy mummy !

All I would say is, make sure you are ready & DS has a full belly

moondog Sun 03-Jul-05 11:33:18

Berolina, think I may have mentioned before that with dd (first baby and very sucky) I sometimes took her off the boob if she was exhausting me and I felt she's had enough. Not to be done lightly of course,but I was confident that she'd had enough.

Everyone is right-sometimes you need a break.

kateandfelicity Sun 03-Jul-05 11:46:45


found recently my bf dd of 8 weeks kept wanting to suck every 5 minutes like that... then dose off then want to suck again... i think it is purely a comfort thing... so I too am using Gina Fords' book, I don't think you can be too rigid with it, but as a general guide and mental approach I'm finding it really useful. Have had to be quite uh, strict (not sure if this is the right word) and stopped her snacking and try 2 distract her... seems to work for us, but its not for everyone.

moondog Sun 03-Jul-05 11:48:38

k&f...if it works for you great,but there's no way I would have tried to 'control' breastfeeding at that tender age.

kateandfelicity Sun 03-Jul-05 11:50:16

Definitely do not think you did the 'wrong' thing at all.... I found that dd smells food and therefore thinks she's hungry all the time... when you pass them to someone else they often calm down, look around or as happened with dh, go to sleep... I think a sane mother that has sleep is just as valuable as munching away for 5 minutes!
well, thats just what i think

kateandfelicity Sun 03-Jul-05 11:54:09

Hi Moondog...

the thing is, she isnt actually hungry... she'll suck for 30seconds then pull off and dose off... I think she is using me more like a dummy than a source of food... thats the only reason why... am not trying 2 be militant or anything, when she is hungry i do feed her and make sure she's properly stuffed. If i thought she was suffering or miserable then i'd stop it straight away... I mean she had a few days where she was really bothered by the heat and so ate pretty constantly, which i thought was okay, i totally don't mind... but i just can't do that all day every day, which is what she would like to do, she loves sucking all the time!

CarolinaMoon Sun 03-Jul-05 12:02:29

my ds was v 'sucky' too - they do start to grow out of it after a few more weeks though!

The 'using me as a human dummy' thing I've always thought is a funny way of looking at it - they are called dummies because they are fake/substitute nipples after all. Babies just like sucking, some more than others admittedly , it's not something they have to be trained out of.

I would also be v cautious about scheduling bf at this stage - babies find their own schedules (more or less) eventually anyway.

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