Extended Breastfeeding - coping, stopping? and sleep.

[sharklet]

Hi there all,

Am not sure if you will be able to help as I know most ladies on here a bf ing tiny bubs. However its worth a try.

I have been bf DD for 16 months and we are both happy with the situation. It is getting more tricky though with other people's attitudes. I went out with a group of girls from my NCT antenatal group and all of them were pressuring me to stop and gave me a lot of grief about it. To be honest I have avoided them since as I know I am just going to get hassled about it again.

My close family have been really supportive, but recentlt DH has started asking when are you going to stop, and making some funny comments which make me feel he doesn't like it but doesn't want to say for fear of upsetting me.

DD seems very happy still with it. She bounces around with glee when its tiem for her feed. She asks for milk with her baby signs and hops onto my lap to feed. She only really has two feeds a day now - unless she is ill - first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I don't see why I should stop until she wants me to.

I do want my body back eventually of course. I miss all my old clothes and being able to wear an underwired bra and getting my bust back. But I don't mind carrying on for her. It has helped make her very happy and secure.

One of my concerns is getting her to bed. Her bedtime routine revolves around her bedtime feed. Often she drops off to sleep after a feed and it certainly prepares her for bed. Has anyone else managed a transition of sleep routines and how have you done it?

Thanks

Emma xxx

[BIZZIELIZZIE]

hi Emma i bfed my first daughter until just before her third birthday never intended to it just happened that way. Towards the end or last year or so it was just for her to go to sleep, or if she was upset occasionally in the day. Unfortunately i was on my own at the time and to be honest this became our little secret i started receiving alot of pressure when she was about18 months from over people. My daugthter is six now and still touches my breasts occasionally for comfort. I have breastfed my second daughter and she weaned herself about six weeks ago and has a dummy now for sleeping. She just didnt want to feed off me and it all copinsided with her getting her first tooth. I was very sad and miss this part of our relationship but she is very cuddly and loving so we share affection in other ways. My first child was a very demanding baby and bfeeding made the terrible twos managable and problems with her sleeping. She is a very confident intelligent little girl and now instead of feeling ashamed i feel proud i was able to feed her until she wanted to stop. This is normal in most countries its just ours it seems that makes a big deal out of it. Keep up the good work be proud . That is my view no making bottles in the early hours of the night milk on tap as and when if you really need to stop replace the feed with other things and do it gradually you could perhaps just lay with her and let her touch your breast as she falls asleep and has a bottle or story but she will ajust.

[vicdubya]

Hi Sharklet

How sad even your friends aren't supporting you in this. I do know how you feel as I have started to get that sort of comment too and dh has said things as well.

DS is 15 months. He just has his bedtime feed now. I dropped all his other feeds (early morning, afternoon before nap, middle of night!) about 8 weeks ago.

I was terrified of stopping his prenap feed. But it's been fine.

At nap time, we go into his room, put on his sleeping bag, draw curtains & put on his nightlight, and read a quiet story, then I pop him in his cot. To begin with he cried a little bit, so I just kept going back in to reassure him, and after about 3-4 days he was fine. I also kept to a really strict routine for a few days so he would get the idea.

Now I am more flexible again, don;t mind if he sometimes naps when we are out and about, he doesn;t "forget" how to go to sleep at home!!

I am confident when I stop feeding him at night he will be happy to do the same, in fact he has started comning off the breast now when he is ready in the evenings, and waits for me to pick him up & pop him in his cot! (I feed him lying down).

Don't be pushed into stopping by anyone, it's your body and your child. But don;t worry about how things will work out, I'm sure she will adapt to a new routine pretty quickly.

Just make sure she is well and you are not too busy for those first few days in case she is a little bit unsettled.

Good luck and happy feeding for as long as you want to!

[NotQuiteCockney]

It's very annoying that you're being hassled about this. The WHO recommends breastfeeding to at least 2 years.

I breastfed my DS1 to 18 months. I dropped the nighttime feed first, so that I could go out and DH could put him down - I think I just got DH to put him down, rather than me. We did story in his room, and then down in the cot. We'd already done controlled crying (he was not a good sleeper as a baby), so it wasn't too hard.

Dropping the morning feed was worse.

Oh, you can wear underwired bras now, if you like - they're only forbidden if your boobs are going up and down a lot, and by this point, they probably stay the same size. If you're not feeding while you're out and about, you don't need to wear nursing bras.

Hope this helps ...

[Stilltrue]

Well done! All 3 of my dss lost interest in my boobs by about 11m . BUT I bf my dd (3rd child) until 18m; then she slowly weaned herself. we were down to just the last feed before bedtime, she took less and less interest in my boobs and more and more interest in her bedtime story. One night I gave her a bottle after she'd seemed not too interested in her breastfeed (I was worried she'd go hungry), and it all tailed off from then. But is that what you want?
I'm sure I was back in underwired bras by then. I just took off the bra before her feed. If you don't want to stop then don't! But if you do, would she take warm milk in a beaker or bottle? Could you combine this with the other snuggly things she associates with bedtime, story, cuddles, bath etc?

[WigWamBam]

I fed for two years, although by the end it was just first thing in the morning and last thing at night. As has been said, breastfeeding is recommended for the first two years, so big poke in the eye to all those who have been so negative about it.

When it came to dropping feeds, I let dd take charge, and she dropped her bedtime feed before the morning one. I was worried about her bedtime routine too, but she was quite happy with the change as she made it herself. You can still keep cuddles and closeness as part of the routine even when you drop the last feed.

If you are still happy with feeding, be led by your dd - she will decide for herself when enough is enough. You and she are the only two people whose opinions in this count.

[dropinthe]

As everyone knows on here,(they are bored shitless by my endless whinging as to how I can stop!) I am still feeding at 18 months but unlike you I do want to stop but have been just diagnosed with an underactive thyroid so knackered alot of the time and just can't find the energy to deal with the tantrms when I say no.When I'm at work,sometimes I don't see him most of the weekend,he is fine-will sleep with dh,takes bottles,water,endless nibbling on anything that is given to him-he never wants when we are out which is handy. I too have endless pressure from all around me to stop-even my Dr said give it a rest but it is so hard to stop.
If you are happy just keep going-its a wonderful thing at the end of the day but it is down to personal preference when you decide to stop.

[dropinthe]

And I have been wearing underwired bra's for over a year now-by boobs demand it!

[MarsLady]

will let you know next week. I just stopped bfing the DTs last Friday (I was away until yesterday}. Last night they were terrible with the bottle, like your DD they were used to having a bf then bed. I'm hoping for a better night tonight and will let you know how it goes. They are 16.5months.

What I will say though is this: do what YOU want to do. If the bfing suits you and your DD, then more power to you. People are so strange. It always amazes me that they feel it okay to continually share their distaste at something that has absolutely nothing to do with them. When I said that I was stopping I was amazed at the amount of people that said it was about time. Fortunately they can't read my mind!

[dropinthe]

See Dropinthe thread if you are trying to stop in this later stage!!!

[sharklet]

Hi There Folks,

Thank you so much for all your messages of support. DH has become a lot more supportive since I asked him to clarify what his comments meant and told him how I felt, which is great. he was mortified he had come across as unsupportive - bless him. He says he is really proud of me.

The thing which really worried me was bedtime. As per someone suggestion I had changed her routine and she now has a breastfeed at bedtime and then she cleans her teeth and then bedtime stories then bed. Touch wood - so far it working well and we've been doing it a 4 days. So fingers crossed.

Thanks again all

Love Emma xxx

[bobbybob]

Ds is nearly 2 and a half and has a feed in the morning. He has recently stopped having a feed before bed, just gave up himself one night and toddled off to bed without asking for a feed. The morning takes 2 minutes each side and is before I am dressed so I could actually wear normal bras now - but like the comfort of my drop cup bras!

I haven't mentioned that he is still feeding - most people assume he has stopped and he never mentions it in public. I have noticed that the people who ask, usually do so whilst making a bottle up for a screaming child in the middle of the day, so I assume the question is more about them than me.