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don't know what to do for the best.

(12 Posts)
HomeintheSun Thu 12-Nov-09 06:56:56

DD is 10 days and is up most the night either breastfeeding or screaming, or both, I've had about 4.5 hours sleep all night, yesterday I was up and down from 1.30am. I know babies have a growth spurt at about 10 days and feed alot, but I feel like all I do is feed and stay awake all night trying to stop her crying.
I have a DS who is nearly 3 therefore I can't nap in the day because he doesn't nap anymore and he plays up for DH and between them they wake me up if I am having a nap.
I'm tired and grouchy towards DS and DH, I'm turning from an easy going mum to an up tight bitch. DH goes back to work next week so I'm even more worried about how I'll cope. I don't know if I should change to formula, therefore my DS will have a happier mum but then the thought of doing that fills me with guilt because DD is missing out. Should also say we have no family that live close to help out either.

rubyslippers Thu 12-Nov-09 07:03:58

i could have written your post

DD fed a lot but co-sleeping was a godsend

even if you change to formula there is no guarantee your DD will sleep any better or for any longer

take each breastfeed at a time and each one you do is brill

i also have a 3.5 year old DS who doesn't really nap so it is utterly knackering

have you tried swaddling?

my DD is coming up for 6 weeks and things have settled a lot - she feeds a lot still but she is very quick and in the night she feeds herself back to sleep within about 10 mins

Longtalljosie Thu 12-Nov-09 07:36:04

Even if they don't live close, is there a family member who can come and stay for a week?

tiktok Thu 12-Nov-09 08:49:57

HomeintheSun sound very down.

Frequent feeding is as you say normal, but this constant crying is not. What happens if you get back into bed with your baby and fall asleep with her? If she is happy and comforted doing this, would this help you?

You can follow the safe co-sleeping guidance, and get a better night's sleep.

throckenholt Thu 12-Nov-09 08:53:35

at that age mine slept on DH's chest - it was the only way they settled - probably a combination of sleeping on their front makes digestion easier, and the skin to skin and warmth comfort.

Whatever it was - it worked for us. They were in a carry from about 3 weeks, then gradually moved to cot in the room, and out to their own room by about 6 months.

throckenholt Thu 12-Nov-09 08:54:22

added bonus - huge bonding between DH and babies, plus some sleep for everyone.

christiana Thu 12-Nov-09 09:03:19

Message withdrawn

EffiePerine Thu 12-Nov-09 09:09:35

Have you tried one of the BF helplines? They might be able to talk you through some options and there may also be someone who could come and visit:

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, the early weeks are hard esp with a toddler (DS1 had also droppped his daytime nap by the time DS2 was born). Would second (or third?) the idea of co-sleeping if you can get some more sleep that way.

I have no experience of reflux, but again someone on the helplines should be able to advise. Hope things improve for you soon

HomeintheSun Thu 12-Nov-09 11:39:17

Hi thanks for all your messages of support, I live in Cyprus and all family live in the UK, my MIL is coming out at the end of the month for 2 weeks as my DH has got to do 7 of being on call for work and then straight into 7 days of 12 hour shifts.
I do swaddle her and I've tried not swaddling her at it makes no difference.My idea of the formula is that at least DH can do his bit, everytime I have a "bad" night with DD it pisses me off to hear him snoring cause I think, we've made her together and now I'm doing all the hard work.
DS had reflux and DD isn't doing any of the things he did, ie not throwing up arching of the back she's just crying, I can't put her down awake, she fall asleep on me and I have to try and sneak her back into her bed, I've tried to have her in bed with me but she doesn't settle there either.
I went to see one of my friends who is a successful breastfeeder (over 12 months with her DS) she gave me a few suggestions that I'm going to try, like spending a day in bed doing the skin to skin, Sleeping and feeding as and when DD needs it throughout the day, so will try this on Sundayand hopefully I'll feel more rested.

countrybump Thu 12-Nov-09 11:46:57

Hi there, I also could have written your post! My DD is now 6 weeks, and my DS is 3yrs, and I'm utterly exhausted.

I'm going to try cranial osteopathy for my DD to see if that will help her to settle. She'll sleep in my arms, but only sleeps for about ten minutes at a time in her moses basket, which is so frustrating. DH ha now been banished to the spare room as I am fed up of him complaining that he has had a 'broken night' because he was disturbed when I got up!

But, for what it's worth I also though about going down the route of formula, and last night I gave her a bottle at bed time. It made no difference whatsoever. My Dh works, so won;t do any night feeds in the week anyway, so I wasn't doing it so he can help out, but to see if it would help her settle to sleep. But, she again only settled for 10 minutes and I spent the rest of the night feeding and cuddling her. In the end we also did co-sleeping, but I don;t sleep so well when she is in the bed. Still, not sleeping well is better than not sleeping at all I suppose!

Sorry, I don't think I've been that useful, but wanted you to know that you aren't alone!

EffiePerine Thu 12-Nov-09 13:18:17

You may have seen this already, but there's some really useful info on this website A day in bed sounds like a great idea

throckenholt Thu 12-Nov-09 20:37:34

Another thing that is worth trying - either express or use formula for one feed. you go to bed about 8pm leaving DH and baby to sort themselves out. He is responsible until 12pm. After that any baby duty is yours. That way at least you hopefully get an unbroken 4 hours, and DH doesn't loose too much sleep either.

We did this when ours were little and it was a real sanity saver.

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