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DD used to take bottle of expressed milk but now refuses

(14 Posts)
cardiganlover Thu 05-Nov-09 21:14:46

Hi all,

Have just found mumsnet this evening and already I'm hooked!

I'm pretty sure my problem can't be solved, but some virtual reassuring headpatting is always good.

Long story short....DD is exclusively breastfed and I love it. From 2 weeks old she had 1 bottle of expressed milk per day but over a period of time started to refuse it more and more. From 8 weeks (she 17 weeks now), she has totally refused a bottle, making me feel very very tied to her. I've gone back to work one day per week and it's a nightmare! I stress all day as I know she's crying back home. Have negotiated a combination of home working and one afternoon in but with commuting time she's always screaming for part of the afternoon. I try to rationalise it by reminding myself I am not depriving her of milk, she's choosing not to drink, but it doesn't help when I ring home and can hear her screaming

I've tried everything. Some things include:
Getting someone else to feed her while I leave the house; Me feeding her; Every teat and bottle in Mothercare!; Nipple protectors (yes, really!); Feeding in a chair from behind; Snuzzling her in with bottle, me and then dad while I went out!; covering the teat with milk; putting the teat down my bra for 2 hours before a feed; BF then sneaking the bottle in her mouth; Giving a dummy as we thought this would encourage her to like a synthetic nipple (just like nipple protectors; a syringe; more recently a cup, but she's still too little for one (but she didn't hate it, so there's hope for a few weeks' time); a bottle every day at the same time; very warm milk; refusing to BF for a full 24 hours...

I'm sure there's more! I also should add that other than the last one, we've always tried strategies over a number of days to give them a good shot.

I've resigned myself to the fact she'll never have a bottle, but I sometimes feel totally trapped. I wanted one single night out, overnight this week, but had to cancel.

On the positive side, her feeds are less frequent and shorter now

Those of you who experienced this, how did the next few weeks and months pan out for you? How did you find weaning? How long till you got your life back?!

Oh dear.....it's turned into a long post - sorry!

Longtalljosie Thu 05-Nov-09 21:53:26

Poor you...

When you do try to give her a bottle (and heaven knows you're trying everything I can think of) - how long do you persevere before you give up?

cardiganlover Thu 05-Nov-09 22:07:35

At first we used to try for a while, but then we stopped when she started to cry thinking a more gentle approach would work. We've given up now! LOL! Hoping a cup may help a little when she's old enough. I suppose it's one less thing to wean her off when the time comes!

sanfairyann Thu 05-Nov-09 22:23:42

it will pass incredibly quickly. once she's 6-7 months you can try cups with straws. or sippy cups even from this age. the great advantage is she will be able to use a cup from an early age! I remember the frustration of feeling trapped and the only one who could do the feeding but looking back, it was only a few months of their lives, seems hardly anything now. it's hard to keep that perspective when you're living it, but honestly - how many more million opportunities are there going to be over the next 20 years to go out for the night?

(I'm not sure you get your life back til they leave home btw - sorry smile)

olivo Fri 06-Nov-09 08:26:09

cardigan - my 11 week dd is the same. we started wit ha abottle at 4 weeks but on the last couple ,she is refusing...although she'll take boiled water from one hmm.
i've given up trying to give her milk, will try a cup in a month or two.
sorry, nohting constructive to say, just wanted you to know that you are not alone!

LoveBeingAMummy Fri 06-Nov-09 08:33:48

Hello and welcome!

I'm sure soeone with so fab advice will be along, in the mean time can I ask a couple of questions? How far away do you work? Would it be possble for whoever is looking after your DD to bring her to you for a feed?

Remember they get more tha just milk from bfing. Whats her feeding pattern like?

squashimodo Fri 06-Nov-09 08:57:41

Hi, my dd drinks expressed milk in a cup at 4 weeks old, and is able to sip it.
Will your dc do that?
Sorry if you have already tried it.

gingerbreadlatte Fri 06-Nov-09 09:08:20

Seems obvious but make sure its warm enough?

I was only making the EBM body temp and she didnt like it. A bit warmer and she was happier.

I had same issue as you - DD took EBM bottle very early then we didnt try again for a while then she refused, but we got her taking it after a few days of trying small amounts every feed.

Was essential as I was going on a all day spa day with my friends grin

cardiganlover Fri 06-Nov-09 11:19:01

Thanks girls,

Yup, I've heated it up extra warm. My sister looks after LO and she has to pick up her son from school so can't come to work for me. Have spoken to boss tho and can do afternoons only for a while This means leaving her for 4 hours. She might get a little hungry towards the end, but plan is to fill her up before I go & leave some EBM with a cup on the off chance!

Keep your fingers crossed for me ;)

Essie3 Fri 06-Nov-09 12:53:20

Been there, done that, worn the tear stained t-shirt...
My DS stopped taking a bottle at around that age, and he'd been taking a bottle of ebm once a week from 1 month old. It really stressed me out and made my life hell!

In the end, he never did take a bottle again. (Don't get into a panic about this, please! smile) We tried absolutely everything, including totally illegal things wink like putting jam on the teats. Nothing doing. MW and HV used to say 'oh he'll take a bottle when he's hungry enough'. Wrong!

So, basically, don't worry about it. My DS is alive and well, didn't lose weight, didn't get ill and has no allergies or ill effects (apart from maybe a breast fixation hmm). The 'trying' was just too stressful for me in the end, and once he was weaned, he took to it beautifully and ate like a king; I made sure he had lots of milk on weetabix etc. He still won't drink milk from a cup, btw. So I would say get through this phase the best you can - 4 hours sounds doable if you fill her up etc. Once she's weaned, she'll get her milk from other sources.

About the freedom...well I stopped bf when DS was 15 months, but I didn't feel totally free until then, really, because I was tied to bedtime and morning. Now, even though I can go out and party all night, I don't want to! smile

cardiganlover Fri 06-Nov-09 13:06:10

Hi Essie,

That's exactly how I feel! Have given up trying completely now. You made me remember that once we tried honey on the teat! blush

It's great to hear form others who have been there and come out the other side. it's also interesting that you said your son didn't drink from a cup either....was this just milk? How did you get water into him when you weaned?

Now I've given up and relaxed I think I'm a much better mummy, much less stressed and having more fun with her

Longtalljosie Fri 06-Nov-09 18:17:30

It's not that she's outgrown the teat, is it? You may find going up a size or two helps?

IslandIsla Fri 06-Nov-09 18:28:13

My DD refused a bottle from the moment we tried it. I gave up after a while - far too stressful! But I had a day away from her planned so from 4 months I started trying a bit of expressed milk in a cup with a spout(the most basic Tommee Tippee one you can get, their first cup). She would take small amounts of milk from this if I helped her drink (and now she can drink on her own from it). She always takes the minimum amount from a cup, and holds out for me for a proper feed, but it does keep her from being hungry when I'm not there.

cardiganlover Sat 07-Nov-09 08:39:54

IslandIsla,

That's kind of what she does with her cup (sounds like we've got the same one). She can't drink from it very well, but has a little sip and she doesn't scream, more curious.

As for teats Longtailjosie, yup, tried loads of different flows, including variflow

I think I've got to tough it out and aim for the cup, but thanks for all the help and advice....you lot are great! So appreciated

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