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any tandem feeders out there? how did bf affect dc1's acceptance of dc2?

(9 Posts)
alittleteapot Wed 04-Nov-09 22:09:04

dd (2) had almost stopped bfing during my pg, partly because my milk had pretty much dried up. Now the milk's in she's gone bf mad again, which, to be honest, I could do without. But if it helps to ease the upheaval of a new sibling I'll go with the flow so to speak. Anyone else with this experience? How do you think tandem bfing affects the transition to siblinghood?

Grendle Thu 05-Nov-09 15:42:38

Ds used to stroke dd's head whilst she fed smile. He liked sharing his milk with her. We had no probs at all. But, dh had 4 weeks off work too which def helped, so he got plenty of attention from dh and then later grandparents.

Dd is now looking forward to sharing her milk with the new baby. We've talked lots about what new babies are like and how it will want milk all the time. We did this last time too. Age gaps are both 2.3 by the way.

StealthPolarBear Thu 05-Nov-09 15:48:03

Congratulations on prgnancy
well I have nothing to compare it with but...
DS has always been milk obsessed, although for a while he's only fed mornig and night, which I've had to gently encourage him into. He's 2 1/2. He does seem a lot more boob obsessed now, but that might be linked into general clinginess. Have gone all out to assure him he;s a big boy and they have mi mi morning and night (DD has milk to make the distinction)
He has been surprisingly mature - has gone from HAVING to be fed to sleep (if I was there) to reluctantly letting go and settling for a story if I have to see to DD. Also, while he asks for mi mi and I refuse, he doesn't tantrum that DD gets it all the time - seems to understand, in fact he tells me when he thinks she needs feeding
He's lovely, always kissing her, holding her hand when nappy changing. Feeding both together is a bit fraught as he is (non-maliciously) a bit rough, lying on her, touching her face etc but that will get easier as they both get older. He does hold her hand or stroke her while they feed, which is lovely

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 05-Nov-09 16:05:40

My dd (2.8 when I had ds) also went mad for bf and wanted to feed all the time. I let her for the first few weeks, whilst she got used to her new brother, and then I gradually cut her back, until she was just having morning and night. She now just has morning (ds is nearly 13 months), which means that dh can put her to bed whilst I sort ds, and then I just pop up for a quick cuddle with her before she goes to sleep.

I told dd that all the milk had come because of her brother arriving, so I think she probably liked him for that!

She was jealous of him having more than her for a while, but mostly is ok about it now, and he usually only feeds 2 or 3 times in the day now, so it's not like she's missing out on a lot.

alittleteapot Sat 07-Nov-09 12:34:44

thanks all. not pg btw - have had the baby! I was rationing dd at first (five seconds etc) but have now given in to her and will start to rein it back a bit when the dust has settled from having a new sibling. She's showing signs of being a bit angry at the moment so probably a good time to keep going for now. Worried a bit though because I'm also trying to express so dp can do cluster feed while i do dd bedtime...

whomovedmychocolatecookie Sat 07-Nov-09 12:38:32

I was tandem feeding DD who was ummm 20 months old when DS was born. She wanted to feed constantly the first few weeks, but quite honestly, she didn't have a cross word with him for months.

Shame it didn't last - he's 15 months now and while they mostly get on, they really do wind each other up hmm

LeninGuido Sat 07-Nov-09 13:59:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alittleteapot Sat 07-Nov-09 14:01:42

that's interesting. so far any anger from dd is aimed at me not ds. I think i've probably been wrong to try and ration her but i've just been worried about her drinking all ds's and he needs it more! but emotionally it would probably be better to let her have it...

LeninGuido Sat 07-Nov-09 14:40:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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