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:o( breastfeeding in the evenings is making me so sad and stressed....

(25 Posts)
HeinzSight Tue 27-Oct-09 18:22:38

please can someone help. I feel like I'm making my baby miserable.

Please look at this thread for more details.

HeinzSight Tue 27-Oct-09 18:33:42


smallorange Tue 27-Oct-09 18:49:51

Right is the problem that she is fussy in the evenings? Is she colicky? Is she still cluster feeding in the evenings?
I found that when mine got to six weeks they got overtired after about 6.30pm. So I started a gentle bedtime routine - mine is lights out, jammies on, bf lying down on our bed in the dark while mummy mumsnets on the iPhone. At first your baby will fuss and feed for ages but if you stay relaxed and are gently persistent about staying in the dark room , cuddling, feeding, winding, settling she will start to kip all evening. Can take a few weeks though.

Dd3 is still colicky some nights and this requires winding for hours until she settles.

Is this the problem?

smallorange Tue 27-Oct-09 18:53:09

Baby massage can be very effective as part of bedtime routine too. Worked very well with dd1 don't have time with dd3

belindarose Tue 27-Oct-09 20:31:56

We found a solution to this that I'm sure wouldn't work for everyone but has been great for us. I leak profusely from the other breast while feeding, so collect this and put it in the fridge (I also express once with a double pump before bed - was exclusively expressing for first four weeks, so am keeping this chore up!). DD has a fairly fussy feed around 5 - 5.30pm, which I persevere with. Then she has an extremely fussy feed around 7, which sounds very similar to yours. I persist as long as I feel able (sometimes only 5 minutes) then she has as much expressed milk as she wants (usually fed by daddy). Sometimes this is gallons! Since doing this as part of the evening routine, she has slept around 8 hours at night before wanting another feed.
Hope someone's advice works for you.

HeinzSight Tue 27-Oct-09 20:52:44

belindarose, I did wonder whether that would help so did some expressing earlier. Fingers crossed.

kitkatcadaverqueen Tue 27-Oct-09 22:48:39

Hey Heinz, Let me know how you are getting on, did occur to me that every morning ds2 does this right on time for school run and I swear its pure tiredness, because during the dash he falls asleep and then sleeps for ages. I reckon your options are tiredness, colic, wind, teeth or upset from the antib's or wrong antibs???

Hows her temp doing?

Thinking of you....

HeinzSight Wed 28-Oct-09 10:19:22

Hey kitkat, love your Halloween name!!

I'm wondering whether she is indeed getting more tired in the evenings.

This is all new teritory for me because this is my first bf baby. The others were zonked out and stuffed with formula so were easier to get to sleep. I am NOT switching to formula though!! Now I've finally cracked bf with my fourth I'm going to do it exclusively for as long as poss!!! I'm not having another baby that's for sure, so I'm making the most of it!

kitkatcadaverqueen Wed 28-Oct-09 23:00:00

LOL! Its funny how we almost become fanatical. No4 has been vomming all day today, I bought an extra 20 bibs today and i've only got a couple left. Am begining to wonder about reflux. Which is where I need info from you

Did you manage to get some echinacea for your dd1?

I'm hoping you had a better day today...

pookamoo Wed 28-Oct-09 23:07:33

We had a very colicky DD up to 5 months or so. Wearing her in a sling in the evenings let her sleep when she wanted. Depending on the type of sling you could also bf her while she is in it.

Grendle Wed 28-Oct-09 23:15:55

Any suggestions here that might help?

It sounds so tough sad. You're doing really well and the chances are it will improve with time, even if you change nothing. I remember feeling at wits end with dd screaming in the evenings at various points.

HeinzSight Thu 29-Oct-09 14:11:32

Thanks everyone.

I took her back to the GP today to have her ears checked and they're fine. The lovely doc agreed to give infant Gaviscon a try. DD2 does seem to be getting worse at her fussing at the breast. It's such complete and utter bliss when she latches on and feeds in a relaxed way rather than her arms and legs thrashing around.

kitkat, it could well be reflux that DS2 has, sounds more reflux than silent reflux. May well be worth trying infant gaviscon too to see if it makes a difference. Ifg your GP won't prescribe it, you can buy it over the counter.

You don't think DD2 is getting frustrated at the breast now because she is getting a bottle of EBM in the evenings and now she is getting a tiny TINY bottle of water (about 20ml) with infant gaviscon which she oddly really enjoys and cries when it's finished. Oh gawd this is so frustrating!

kitkatcadaverqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 16:30:20

Heinz, I would think that if she's been getting reflux then when she has the gaviscon its probably very soothing, I honestly couldn't say if that / the ebm are why she's fussing but I would say its more likely to be growth spurt / teeth or because of the reflux? after all, boob is her main thing - its what she has most of the time anything else is really a minor distraction.

ds2 is currently impersonating a small white fountain.

I fed him and he filled his nappy, ( very carefully expecting leaks wink) winded him, changed nappy, he vommed, whilst changing his clothes he vommed, put bib on him changed again, vommed in hair, cleaned up, put him semi reclined in swing, took nappy to bin washed hands went back in room had vommed again,.....

And the whole thing starts again...


why only in the daytime???

never does it at night.

Does it sound like reflux????

Could it be something I am eating? coffee / caffiene or the dreaded cows milk protien...

Off to docs in morning I guess, kind of feel like I live there atm

Back on once kids are in bed...

HeinzSight Thu 29-Oct-09 16:41:02

ARGH it's a blimmin nightmare isn't it kitkat!! Hmm, I wonder why he does it only during the day AND thank goodness he only does it during the day, what a good little boy!!! LOL Am loving the small white fountain image, that gave me a giggle.

Try him on gaviscon, definitely worth giving it a go. Have you got a Boots or other chemist nearby? Although it feels a lot later, it's only 4:40(!), you might be able to get some today.

After finally settling my bub at 1, she's been asleep since. Think I ought to wake her.

Kitkat, I am a bit worried she's taken a real liking to the bottle, even though she's only getting gaviscon in it and ebm at night. Would it be a wise move to try and feed her from a cup or syringe? Am wondering whether it's a nursing strike <furiously clutching at straws and drops several hundred on the floor in the process!>

kitkatcadaverqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 17:02:11

Hiya, i'm still here, cup / syringe go for it!

Just been on phone to docs, ds2 not right going in now - he doesn't want to bend is as tho its hurting his tummy.

just filled - no space left at all 7kg washing machine just with stuff he vommed on today - bibs and clothes.....

going to docs now spk later.

HeinzSight Thu 29-Oct-09 17:24:15

oh no, poor thing, please let me know how you get on xx

kitkatcadaverqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 20:30:48

Hiya, looks like you were right Gp has prescibed the infant gaviscon, is a bit odd tho that he's not vomming at night but never mind, Gp says to see how it goes with the gaviscon and only give it if I need too. At least he's been seen anyway. He's had his ears checked too and theres no infection.

Can honestly say tho that not one of mine has ever done a nursing strike.

I always had the opposite problem, and I don't think ds1 will ever wean, will end up like some mad tv sketch with him shouting baboo!...

Have chatted to people who have had it happen and it seems to me that if bubs is getting milk another way then the strike carries on, its kind of a battle of wills iykwim? Maybe going back to boob only for a week might at least put your mind at rest?

Might be worth checking kellymom for nursing strike, I don't know enough about it.

Have been thinking about the pattern of voms, doesn't do it at night, doesn't generally do it after the 1st feed of the day. does it after the midmorning /lunch feed and then for the rest of the day.

I normally have a (huge blush) cup of coffee after his 1st feed of the day,I think i'm going to cut out coffee and see if it makes any diff...


I'm hoping the gaviscon will go in a syringe ok because I don't possess any bottles, gp laughed when i told him - I don't have a steriliser either grin

How has the feeding been today?

HeinzSight Thu 29-Oct-09 21:19:28

fingers crossed the gaviscon works. I'm glad it's not an ear infection smile.

Hmm I've been wondering about coffee too!! I only have one cup in the morning but am eating a fair bit of chocolate blush which of course has caffeine in it. oops, just polished off a cornetto without even thinking!!

Right, will cut out the bottle of ebm at night. The reason I'd started giving her a bottle was because she seemed to be getting so frustrated at the boob.

She;s been v unsettled today. It seems like everytime I start to slide her down into nursing position she immediately gets upset. The only way I've managed to feed her today is by standing up feeding her whilst walking around. I SOOOO badly want this stage to pass and have a contented baby!!

kitkatcadaverqueen Thu 29-Oct-09 22:13:21

Heinz, how are you holding her? cradle hold across the front? Have you tried rugby hold? You were using it before weren't you?, with dd2 I would put 2 pillows next to me on the bed (whilst sitting on the edge) lay her on top so she was laying in line with my leg and latch her on.

It settled her when nothing else would.

Either that or on a cushion in a cradle hold. I'm just thinking get her as comfy as poss. The ironic thing is I have many memories of cradle holding my children and walking around with them to get them to take a drink from something other than me. I got there with them and you will too.

Me and a friend have joked before about chocolate flavoured milk, but apparantly to a degree its true - the flavour does go through.

I can't eat grapes when I'm feeding as it has upset all of them. There is a list on kellymom i think of possible problem foods, I really hope it isn't coffee causing the problem its the only vice I have left, especially on this diet...

HeinzSight Fri 30-Oct-09 13:56:20

My friend told me about grapes too. LOL @ choc flavoured milk, maybe if we eat enough chocolate and jump on a trampoline we could market our ebm as chocolate milkshake!! LOL LOL LOL

Oh no, have seriously lost the plot now.

I'm off to shops, back later to reply slightly more sensibly!! grin

kitkatcadaverqueen Fri 30-Oct-09 15:10:00

Hey Heinz, hows this for odd, got back from docs last night and ds2 was asleep, he stayed asleep until I went to bed ( predictably late then! )

He then fed all night with no vomming at all, did have a slightly odd nappy. This morning I avoided coffee and he's been fine, no vomming. An hour ago dp handed me a cup of coffee whilst I was feeding him and he has now gone through about a dozen bibs. Have given him the gaviscon and got completely covered...

I know look like this hmm...

kitkatcadaverqueen Fri 30-Oct-09 21:26:51

BTW, have you ever seen dd2 stick her tongue out?

HeinzSight Sat 31-Oct-09 10:49:02

How are you getting on now KK, has the Gaviscon worked do you think. AND how are you coping with the no coffee diet? I think I'm going to have to follow suit!

Yes, I'm pretty sure she can stick her tongue out, I've been keeping an eye on that to see if she has a tongue tie.

KK, when should you feed a 11 wk old (stupid question alert), is it only when they're routing? DD2 seemed hungry last night but no matter what position I tried to feed her in she just got upset. I'm scared I'm setting up negative associations with the boob, I'm being really careful not to try and force her. I'm still getting wet nappies, so I guess she's getting enough?

Her poo has most definitely changes in volume and consistency since the gaviscon. A lot less and more like play dough. However, the volume decrease might be down to her finishing trhe antibiotics?


kitkatcadaverqueen Sat 31-Oct-09 11:26:34

Hiya, Well he projectiled the gaviscon, but hasn't been as sick since iyswim? Am now coming up to the time of day when the vom starts so will see how it goes today...

As for when to feed - not stupid question, there was a thread on here the other week about babies cries and had anyone worked out which was which, most people hadn't.

My theory goes like this:

Need a nappy? check /change

got wind? have an upright pat on the back

want boob? either latches on or doesn't.

still not happy? either carry around for an hour.

And the whole thing starts again...

I don't really this you can give her negative boob associations from offering at any time, its the yummy stuff, how can it be negative.

finishing the antibiotics will change her poo.

kitkatcadaverqueen Sat 31-Oct-09 11:29:43

I'm going out for a bit don't stress so much

text me

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